“Is Ryder your mate?”
Leah stopped moving, forcing Charlotte to do the same. They were still pretty secluded thanks to the trees along the path, so no other Pack members were around to hear, but they could walk up on them at any moment. But for some reason, she found herself wanting to tell Charlotte everything.
“I’m a witch. We don’t mate the way wolves do.”
Charlotte shook her head. “That’s a copout.”
“Is Bram your mate?” Leah snapped.
Charlotte’s chin rose, her eyes going blank. “You’re right. That was too personal. Let’s continue to walk.”
Leah cursed herself. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what the hell is going on. Ryder says I could be his mate. A potential, he called it. Yet he says he won’t mate me with. Or rather, I think he said he couldn’t. I don’t know what that means. He pushed me away, but then he kissed me. He kissed me, Charlotte, but he doesn’t want to mate with me. And why should I care? I’m a witch. I might be able to form a mating bond thanks to his wolf, but it’s not like I’ll pine for him. Right? I don’t have a wolf that will break without that bond. But why do I want him like I do? Why am I breaking because he says he doesn’t want me, even if his wolf does? And why should I care, when the world is going to shit? Roland died, and I’m worried about a man wanting me as his mate. What is wrong with me?”
Tears slid down her cheeks, and she angrily wiped them away. She hated crying, yet it seemed it was all she could do.
Charlotte pressed her lips together then sighed.
“I want to rip that wolf’s face off for you.”
Leah’s eyes widened at the words. She tended to forget that the people around here shared their beings with the souls of wolves and could shift in an instant. Of course, most forgot she held magic within her veins and could control water.
“I don’t know why he said the things he said, but…well…I know that mating isn’t easy. It’s not just a true declaration and happy thoughts. At least not for anyone I’ve known. It takes work…and a leap of faith that doesn’t come easily to most.”
Leah didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure what else there was to say.
Charlotte winced. “That came out wrong. Damn it. No wonder you’re freaking out. Nothing is coming out the way it should. All I’m saying is if he’s doing one thing, and saying another, then you need to talk to him. Mating is hard. It’s not always perfect right away. Sometimes things change—people change. If Ryder has a reason for not wanting to mate, find out what it is. If you don’t want to mate with him at all, then make sure he knows that. I think you two just need to talk.” She sighed. “And nothing I just said helped. I mean, hell, you’ve been through so much and yet it’s not over.”
Charlotte looked so stressed; Leah could only do one thing. She wrapped her arms around the other woman and hugged her tightly. Charlotte’s arms came around her, and Leah could have sworn she could feel the pain of the woman’s wolf. Leah wasn’t a wolf, so why could she feel that? This wasn’t the first time, and it made her wonder. But she didn’t want to think too hard as her brain already hurt enough as it was.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Leah said finally.
“I don’t think any of us do.” Charlotte pulled back. “Let’s walk some more, then head back. I’m pretty sure the guys are talking about Pack dynamics, not the Coven, so we can go back and listen.”
“If it were about the Coven, I would assume the others would be there.”
“Totally. I know our Packs are allies and are inter-mating, but every once in a while it’s good to put an emphasis on our own mental health and the way we can keep our alliance intact.”
What would it feel like to have not only a family but also a whole other Pack to care for and care for you? She couldn’t even comprehend it.
When they made their way back to the house, she felt slightly better from unloading on Charlotte. It wasn’t lost on her that the other woman hadn’t told her much about herself, but she didn’t mind. If Charlotte ever felt like she could, Leah would be there. Sharing was only a small way to be close to someone—something she’d never done before.
Of course, as soon as she stepped inside the house, all her attention went to Ryder. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way his eyes went dark when he looked at her. Or the fact that sometimes she could see a slight gold ring around his irises when his wolf came to the surface. He didn’t smile when she came in, but he did study her as if he couldn’t help but look at her.
Or maybe that was his wolf and the man would pull away once again.
Charlotte cleared her throat from behind her, and Leah moved to the side. “Bram, we need to go.”
Bram stood and nodded. “I know. I was going to call you soon if you hadn’t shown up when you did.” He turned to Ryder and Brandon. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow?”
They nodded, and Bram came toward Charlotte.