I came back unsure of what I would find. How I would feel. A lot of that had to do with me still struggling to find my place after losing my rodeo career, but I know a big chunk was because so much uncertainty was floating around the air. I could feel the unfinished business slap against my skin the second I crossed the county line.
Now however, after my talk with Clay today and the woman in my arms tonight, I know I’m headed in the right direction. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like the Davis ranch is home, not when I’ve felt truly at peace only with Leighton.
It wasn’t until the other day that I realized I didn’t lose everything just because I couldn’t ride anymore. In that moment, everything became clear. I didn’t feel lost. Everything started to click together.
I’m on my way to having it all again, and hopefully, God willing, I’ll have it with this girl always by my side. This is my second chance at everything, and I’ll be damned if I fuck it up.
I know I still have to prove to everyone that I mean what I say. When I tell them I’m here for good, they don’t have to worry that the urge might strike to flee. By putting down steel-enforced roots, there will be no way to deny I’ve come home for good.
I’m sick of living with my mistakes.
It doesn’t escape my notice that the one place I’ve been too scared to come back to is the one that finally made me feel like I have a purpose again. The dust around me has settled and I can finally see the clear path that’s been waiting for me. I thought I had lost it all when I was told I couldn’t ride anymore, but if I play my cards right I won’t have lost a damn thing.
I will have gained everything.
There’s no doubt in my mind that this is where I’m meant to be.
I let out a deep but content breath, and Leigh shifts in my hold. Her body curling more into mine as she hikes one bare leg up and over my hips. Her full breasts pressing against my ribs. I fight a groan when she connects with my still-straining erection.
When she had fallen asleep last night, I moved only enough so that we were both stretched out on the couch, not allowing any distance between us. Her back to the couch and her body pressed tight to my side. She had hardly moved all night.
My arm had fallen asleep somewhere around one in the morning.
My neck had started feeling like someone was stabbing it around three.
My back was screaming in protest from not being able to move.
My cock had been hard since I walked into her house and her wildflower scent curled up my nose, branding my senses.
I was in pain, all over.
And I had a smile on my face the whole time because fuck if that pain didn’t feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. I had my little slice of heaven back in my arms and there was no doubt that I would fight to keep it right here.
I look up at the ceiling fan above us, the blades moving slowly, but just enough to fill the room with a nice gentle breeze. There is still so much left to prove to Leigh. She might have said she’s giving us a chance, but I know part of her is still waiting for me to jump in my truck and hightail it outta here.
I hope that the plans I’ve set in motion with Clay help prove to her that I’m here to stay. I want her to know I’m doing all of this because I want to be here—with her—and not for any other reason. Not just because my rodeo career is over. Not because my siblings want me home. Not because the old man is gone.
They might have jump-started getting me here, but they aren’t the reason I sobered up and hit the highway.
She is.
She was my compass when I was lost without direction.
She was the pull I always felt to come home but never had the balls to try, knowing that it might be too late.
She was my biggest regret, but she will be my biggest accomplishment—God willing.
I close my eyes, a smile on my face, and the only girl I’ve ever wanted in my arms. My thoughts don’t have anything to do with rodeo fame anymore. I don’t see myself as a lonely cowboy that had pushed everyone away. I’m not consumed with fear-driven anger. There’s no more wall to keep out the things I had always been too afraid to hope for.
No, not this time.
All I can see now is a blond-haired, blue-eyed woman that still, after all this time, looks at me like I hung the fuckin’ moon. I see fields of bluebonnets, children laughing, and a happiness that I never thought possible. The crushing weight of the anger I’ve carried around for so long falls to the wayside when I feel her small arm curl around my chest, pulling herself closer into me.
I truly had been living for nothing, but right now I know I have a shot at everything.
Finally.
I come awake with a jolt. I had been in that space between consciousness and sleep when I realized I didn’t feel Leighton’s body against mine anymore. The panic that rushed through me in that moment was powerful enough to feel like it could have stopped my heart.
Coming up to a sitting position on the couch, my body screaming in protest the whole time, I look wildly around the living room. There’s no sight of her. I scan the room, searching, my heart pounding wildly. I hunch, my elbows on my knees, and look down at my socked feet on her rug. I don’t remember taking off my boots last night.
I hear movement and look up from the ground, not moving my body. Her large cat—at least I think that thing is a cat, I didn’t want to offend her last night by asking—struts into the room, coming from the back of the house. It looks at me with its odd yellow-green eyes. I feel like it sees right through me. We continue our staring contest, the only movement from the cat/beast coming from the hairy tail swooshing behind it. I watch the feline jump on the coffee table before walking to the edge, stopping when its face is right in front of mine, just continuing to stare at me.
It’s creepy as fuck.
“You’re awake.”
I nod, not wanting to look away from the beast in front of me and give it the upper hand. I’m also not entirely sure it couldn’t claw my face off. Best to keep my eyes on this thing. “This is a house cat?”
I hear her laugh softly; then, to my shock, the couch move a bit as she settles behind me, climbing right over the back of the couch like it’s the most normal thing to do. Her comfort around me eases some of the trepidation I had felt when I woke up alone. I feel a little guilt that I instantly thought the worst when I didn’t see her in here, but let the thought vanish when I feel her move behind me. Her legs spread as her knees roll across my back. She shifts, I feel it in the moving cushions, and I wait for her to settle. When she leans forward, though, you could have blown me over in shock. Her chin hits my shoulder, one arm wraps around my torso, and the other reaches out toward the cat/beast.