Staring down at the page my cheeks warmed as the bared feeling of letting someone see a little bit of my insides swirled through me. Had I done the right thing?
Blake took my face between his hands, the emotion behind his stare quelling any insecurity I’d had a moment ago. “Your mind fascinates me.” He searched my eyes as if he was trying to see past them, into the very place that intrigued him. “That was deep. And eloquent. And beautiful.” He brushed his nose against mine and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” His eyes shimmered. He looked like he wished he could reach out and erase my pain, change my past. And for a second, I wished he could.
But that was a silly notion.
Pasts are engrained in you forever. Deep little cuts on your soul.
“Thank you,” I murmured in a voice that struggled to exist.
He kissed my nose and wrapped his arms around me, scooping me to his chest before laying us down. “Sleep, my angel.” He burrowed his nose into the top of my head as his body relaxed into mine. “Sweet dreams.”
“Sweet dreams.” My body sank into his, molding to the curves like it was made to be its match.
Breaths slowed, muscles relaxed, consciousness ebbed away. I drifted off wrapped in a cocoon of Blake. Warm, soft, safe . . .
It was as though my being could sense his absence. Waking from a state of euphoric bliss, I was met by an empty space. A hole sank into my heart as my fingers sought out the vacant spot beside me, the warmth of his body still lingering on the rustled comforter. I leaned over, inhaling the faint trace of his cologne.
Rain pelted against my window, capturing my attention and I rolled over with a groan. I hated the rain. Like severely hated any form of precipitation. Snow could be pretty—once or twice a year—but that pretty white fluff always turned into nasty black mush, sloshing underfoot, and leaving dirty little marks along the bottom of your pants from what your feet kicked up. Rain, however, was my most hated. My mom used to keep me home from school when the weather was bad, and I never quite got used to it after that. I guess she spoiled me.
My phone buzzed on my nightstand. Resting beside it was a torn piece of paper that caught my attention. I lifted it and fell onto my back, staring at Blake’s neat penmanship.
I wish I could’ve stayed to wake up with you, but I needed to wash off the club and get to class. I’ll think of you, though. Thanks for last night.
<3 B
Smiling, I reached to the side, and fished for the phone that wouldn’t stop its incessant ringing. Sandra’s name flashed across the screen. “Hello,” my voice croaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Hello.”
“Hey, soul sista.” she trilled, sounding too cheery for such a crappy day.
“Why do you sound so uppity?” I draped an arm across my eyes.
“Oh my God, I had the most ah-ma-zing night ever! I need to tell someone. By the way, are you going to class? You have a thing with rain, right?”
“Jury’s still out. Go ahead, spill it.”
“Okay, so Jeremy—you remember Jeremy, right? So, he shows up at my door last night, telling me he loves me and that he’s never felt this way before and that he wants to take it to the next level!”
I pulled the phone away, wincing as she squealed in delight. When I thought it was safe, I put it back to my tender ear. “That’s awesome, San. What’d you say?”
“Duh, what do you think I said? I’ve been lusting over the guy for weeks. I contemplated playing hard to get for all of five seconds before I grabbed him by the collar and had my way with him—twice.” She sang the happiest little giggle I’d ever heard.
“Aw, Sandra. I’m so happy for you.” I rolled onto my side, brushing my palm over the spot in the bed where Blake had slept, recalling a memory of my own.
“I know, right? Come on, don’t be a pooper. Meet me on the corner. Don’t make me sit in this boring-ass class alone, holding all this in. Please, come with me. Pleeeeeease.”
I hesitated for a second, picturing her disappointed pout. “Fine, give me a few.”
I scooped up the pillow Blake had slept on in a bear’s embrace, then I rolled onto my back, drawing in his scent once more so it would last me the day. Something felt odd and off, but I attributed it to the weather and the way my body repelled it. Shaking it off, I tossed his note in my bedside drawer and dragged myself out from under the covers.
By the time I was leaving, the rain had stopped, leaving a film of nastiness in its wake. Thick, muggy air slapped me in the face, coating my skin in a sticky sheath the second I opened the door. It was so disgusting, even my eyelashes were having a bad hair day.