You need to end this. You’re making mistakes.
I didn’t bother to answer myself this time. I didn’t have the strength. Not trusting myself, I checked my belongings three times to make sure I didn’t forget something in my current condition. Then I unlocked my door and froze.
At my feet lay a stunning arrangement of dainty, sky blue flowers. At the heart of them, a silver star-shape rested behind a sunny yellow center. I slowly dropped to my knees and caressed the smooth petals, my brows worrying a line between my eyes. As my fingers glided over the tops of the sprouting buds, I spotted the scroll at the bottom of the box.
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” ~ Audrey Hepburn
My hand came up to cover my mouth. He was forgiving me . . . again. Tucked behind the scroll was a card that read, “Open Me”.
With shaky hands, I withdrew the hard paper.
Angel,
These are forget-me-nots. I chose them hoping you’d do just that. They’re the annual flowers I was telling you about that are forever getting a second chance at life. Each leaf symbolizes something I want you to remember.
Forget Not in life there are do overs
Forget Not you’re cared for
Forget Not you’re a strong and incredible person
Forget Not . . . Me
Forget Not you only get one more bug out, so choose it wisely ;)
I giggled at that last line through teary eyes and rubbed my thumb across the winking smiley face he’d placed beside it.
I’m not giving up on you, and I’m not letting go of life’s second chances and what I know we could have. I know it’s sudden and maybe it’s crazy. I don’t fully understand it myself, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and certainly not in this short amount of time. There’s something about you that draws me to you, makes me want to protect you. Consider being mine and you’ll always be cared for. It might not be easy and I may have to put you over my knee every now and then ;) But I’ll suffer the consequences of that for you.
Plant your feet with mine and stop running from me and from yourself. I promise I won’t hurt you, but don’t take my word for it. Just try with me. That’s all I ask. I’ll be there when you’re scared, and remind you of your feelings when you want to run. I’ll be your friend, your companion. Remember to always remember. Remember to forget-me-not.
Your BFF, Blake
I looked down at the glistening flowers as another drop rolled from my chin, landing on them. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and replaced the card in the envelope. I was openly sobbing in my hallway, but I didn’t care anymore. Why did he have to make it so hard to say no? Why did he have to be so persistent and so sweet? He said the perfect things and gave me hope. I’d given up on hope so long ago, but he always managed to ignite a spark, my glimmer of light in a dark tunnel.
I had to make him stop. There’d be no second chances for me. I didn’t deserve them. He had to understand why this could never happen.
I tucked my head between my knees and curled into a ball.
Two strong arms lifted me up and cradled me against a familiar chest. “Come on, love. Let’s get you inside.”
He lowered me to the couch, the pressure of his hand smoothing down my hair. Through my sobs, I heard the rustling of paper being extracted from an envelope. When I opened my eyes, Jace was staring at me through a tear-stained face. “Eva . . .”
“Don’t. Don’t, Jace, please.” I hopped to my feet and retreated to the bathroom to fix myself. I felt his presence in my doorway, his stare burning a hole into the side of my head as I focused on the mirror. “I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t wanna hear it. I have to get to class. And, by the way, so do you.”
The sympathy in his voice vanished and was replaced with conviction. “I’m giving you until the end of the week to make a decision. I’m not standing by and watching this anymore. You’re either going to be with him or you’re going to cut him off. Or I’m leaving, Evangelina, because I can’t stand it anymore.”
I scowled at him, even though I knew he was right. I knew what I had to do, and I would. Just not yet.
I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet.
Oblivious to the hustle and bustle of the cafeteria, I sat, staring off into space, picking at the plastic lid on my coffee cup.
“You okay, hon?”
My finger halted, and my eyes flickered toward Sandra’s concerned voice. She and Jessie sat across from me, pity etched on their faces as though they could see all my broken pieces.
I squirmed in my seat, feeling exposed and vulnerable, and put on the best phony smile I could muster. “Fine, why?”
Her gaze descended to the contorted cup being strangled in my grasp. I would really have to pay better attention to my tell signs. Clearing my throat, I pushed it aside.