“No problem.” Blake turned to me. “See you inside, Angel.” I watched him jog back in with a grateful smile on my face.
Jace appeared, bracing his hands on either side of the doorframe. “You bitches are too much drama for me. One of you full time is enough to handle.” He stumbled beside Abby and dropped a heavy arm over her shoulder, causing her to rock on her already unsteady feet. “Come on. Drop me off and you can tell Aunt Jace all about it.”
I kissed Abby’s cheek. “You guys better be careful. Call me when you’re home.”
I planted my hands on my hips and exhaled a deep breath, looking back to the door, not wanting to finish my shift. I was spent. Though I hoped I’d at least planted a seed for Abby to think about.
Eric sat at the bar with a scowl on his face, two shots in front of him and one empty glass. He looked up as I wiped a towel in front of him, clearing away the remnants of what he’d spilled in his haste. “I’m sorry, Eva. I don’t know what got into me. I wanted her so damn bad, I couldn’t stop myself. She told me she had a boyfriend—not that that’s ever stopped me before, but I know she’s your sister. I never would’ve disrespected you that way, even though I like to give you a hard time.” He slung another shot down his throat and spun the last full glass between his fingers.
“Don’t worry about it. You kind of did me a favor actually. I can’t stand her boyfriend.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t do me any fucking favors. I’m not getting her out of my head anytime soon.”
I pulled back, studying him. “Whoa, I’ve never seen this side of you before. Don’t you usually bang anything with a heartbeat? I always kind of thought you were incapable of feeling or something.”
Eric snickered. “Gee, thanks. Tell me how you really feel.”
“I’m sorry. That came out wrong.” I covered his hand with my own in an attempt to apologize, but he quickly pulled it back, emptying the last shot down his throat.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Eric shoved away from the bar, unsteady on his feet. “I’m outta here, B.” He gave Blake a pound and ran his fingers through his hair, bunching a fistful at the back.
I nodded to Blake. “Go with him. I don’t like how he looks.”
Blake frowned. “Yeah, you’re right. Something’s really got him going. I’ll be back before you’re done.” He took off after him, and I looked on, concerned for the guy who, before tonight, I wasn’t sure I even liked. The guy I was praying would change the course of my life.
Black.
That’s all I saw. I hadn’t realized how long I’d been sitting on the roof, staring off into space, faintly registering snowflakes falling around my tucked in knees. I’d dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, and climbed up here because there was something about snow on Christmas that made me brush aside my hatred for all things precipitation.
That was hours ago.
At least I thought it was based on the fact my hair was crunchy and frozen, and my fingers were blue . . . or purple. In the dim light of dawn it was hard to tell. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to bring back circulation as I stared out into nothingness.
Blake had bought me an iPod and loaded it with songs for me to listen to when we were apart and I couldn’t sleep. He spent most nights with me, but last night he’d stayed at his parents to celebrate the holiday early. That was probably a big factor of why I was up here right now. Thankfully, he helped to keep my night terrors away somehow. But in his absence, and with the weight of this day looming, it couldn’t be avoided.
Steven Tyler’s voice bled into my ears, singing about an angel coming to save him. The corner of my mouth turned up. I was numb, but that knock on my heart I felt. Like a little tickle, letting me know he was always there, tucked inside its beating walls.
Of course, Aerosmith’s Angel would be on there. When he sang how loneliness took him for a ride, it brought my mind to a young Blake. Living his life as his father’s pawn. No one knowing what he was going through internally, drifting along in his stilted journey.
I smiled, hoping I was making a difference in his life somehow. Starting with today. The day he’d spend his first holiday away from his family. With me . . . and mine. I took a deep, jittery breath.
I was scared out of my mind.
Not knowing how this would pan out was eating me alive. But I would do it. For him. I’d bring him home. To a house that was no longer a home. I just hoped I wasn’t making a huge mistake.
I’d have to stay on my tippy toes to make sure everything went smoothly. I was very different from the girl who’d left a few months ago, and I needed to be strong today. I’d left as Evangelina, but I was bringing Angel home. I wasn’t perfect and I didn’t know if I’d ever be, but I was slowly changing. My cracks were still visible, but they were superglued now. I’d put off going back long enough. It couldn’t be avoided anymore.