Blank.
It was like being asleep while you were awake. I didn’t even know where I went when I drifted away. Like my mind was giving me the reprieve it knew I needed against my knowledge.
I shook my head, trying to evoke life.
The sun was barely up. I tilted my head to the dusky gray sky and caught a snowflake on my tongue, scrunching my nose. That action brought me back to Blake once again. Seemed everything led to him these days.
Ironic, Phillip Phillips’ Home was next on his playlist. As I contemplated the loss of a home, the song told me he was my home now. And he was. He was always with me even when he wasn’t.
I smiled broadly, feeling my strength fortify. I’d never be alone again. Not if I could help it. I’d spent too many years trapped away with those demons.
I rubbed my hands together and hopped off the lounger. Even though I hadn’t forgiven myself yet, it was time to move on. Blake needed a place to call home too, after all, and my walls needed to be sturdy for him.
A few hours and a steamy shower later, Jace knocked on the door with a travel mug in his hand. “Ready to go, sugar lips?”
That smile was reserved for one thing, and it was barely noon. I looked at him questioningly. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s gotta happen, right?”
“Do you know how you’re going to handle all this?” He hopped up on my stool, and swung his legs, crossed at the ankles.
“Not yet. I’m hoping with everyone around and Blake with me, there’ll be nothing to worry about. Fingers crossed.” I held up two twisted fingers and made the sign of the cross.
“I’ll come by later on and check up on you.” He took another hard swallow, smacked his lips together and smiled with the grin that gave himself away.
“Jace, what’re you drinking?”
He shrugged. “Eggnog. Why?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Plain eggnog?”
“Hell no. Go wash out your mouth.” He crinkled his nose in disgust.
“You lush. You realize it’s still morning, right?”
“Hey, I’m on vacation. This is what I do on vacation.”
“Yes, in the Bahamas maybe.”
“Hush it. It’s five o’clock somewhere. It’s all good.”
“You have issues.” I shook my head.
“I do. My best friend’s a lunatic. I need this fuzz in my head to make it through a day with her.”
“That’s not nice,” I pouted.
“Oh, I’m only kidding.” He hopped down and put his arm around my shoulder, his mug landing right under my nostrils.
“Gimme a sip. That smells delicious.”
“Oh, really? I thought I had issues.”
“Well, we all know I have issues. No secret there.” I rolled my eyes and took a sip. A coughing fit ensued. I should have known better than to taste anything in that boy’s hand.
“How much rum did you put in there?” I wheezed.
“Mind your business.” He snatched the cup out of my hand and cradled it to his chest. “Come on. Let’s go get lover boy.”
“Okay.” I laced my fingers with his. “Jace?”
“Yeah, baby girl?”
“I’m scared.” I looked up at him from the corner of my eye.
His features softened. “I know you are, but you’re handling it very well. You’ll be fine. You’re fierce. Rawr.” He nudged his shoulder into mine.
I smiled unconvincingly. “I hope you’re right.”
“Sweetie, I’m always right. Trust. Now come on. Let’s do this.”
Blake jogged to the car with Victoria on his heels. He leaned his forearm on Jace’s window. “How’s it fair that you ride shot gun with my girlfriend?”
Jace’s face was smooth. “Don’t make me bite that arm, honey. My name’s been on this seat since she got this car. It’s got the indent of my ass and everything. I only let you borrow it when I’m not around so she doesn’t feel like a chauffeur.”
I leaned over the inner console. “Told you you’d have a fight on your hands.”
Blake frowned and lugged his bag in the backseat before following it and slamming the door. Victoria took his place at the passenger window, extending her hand to Jace.
“Hi, I’m Tori. You must be Jace.”
“The one and only. Aren’t you a pretty thing.”
“Well, aren’t you sweet?” she gushed.
Jace winked. “Like candy, baby.”
Victoria laughed, but then her smile faded. “I wish I was coming with you guys.”
I felt bad leaving her here. “Next time, I promise. Someone has to keep your mom company.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” She sighed, sweeping her long, dark hair over her shoulder. “Ugh, that man.” She straightened. “Well, have fun. I just wanted company while I sulked. Love you guys.” She tapped on the door and flitted off.
Blake scooted to the middle of the backseat with a smile in his eyes.