It was probably best not to tell him I forced her on her knees and made her appear to be giving me head. Wow. Each memory was worse than the last.
“She didn’t ask questions, just did as I told her—but she saw some shit,” I added, looking out into the street and for the first time I tried to put myself in Jack’s shoes. I wondered what ran through his head when he stared at the same street where his son laid as he took his last breath. It made me wonder why the fuck he didn’t sell this house and move the fuck away.
But then the answer came to me.
He kept the house for the same reason he left the holes in the walls, to remind him of who he was before he got help and when he’s tempted not to take his meds all he has to do is come here…it’s all the push he needs to do the right thing.
“What kind of shit?” He asked, pulling me away from his thoughts.
“Gold didn’t like I was the man delivering the product, said he didn’t trust me. As an act of good faith he forced me to sample the H,” I admitted, running my fingers through my hair. “Wifey saw me with a needle in my arm and didn’t run away, she just ran right to you.”
I turned over my arm and flicked my skin and the bruise that marked it.
“No sweat, just once, didn’t even leave much of a mark,” I lied, leaving out the second hit I took after I sent his daughter away crying.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you deal with that prick by yourself,” he responded. “I’m making a mess of things, letting everything with Jimmy get the best of me for months now.”
“It’ll all be over soon,” I said.
“Even so, doesn’t make it okay,” he replied, cupping my shoulder. “You good?”
I had to look away from him, from the concern and guilt reflected in his eyes.
“I’m good,” I replied, clearing my throat. “Be better when these motherfuckers are off the streets.” I pulled down the sunglasses, masking my eyes as I turned back to him. “We will get them, right? We’re going to make Gold and the G-Man pay aren’t we?” I selfishly asked, needing his assurance, deserving nothing.
I needed to know we would end this nightmare. I needed to know G-Man could be stopped and finally pay for all the lives his drugs ruined and robbed. Mine. Christine’s. Those kids and all the faceless strangers we fed throughout Cain’s leadership.
“Yeah, brother, we are,” he swore.
The front door opened and Reina stormed out.
“If you’re taking me then let’s go…now,” she ordered.
Jack and I both stood at the sound of her voice. I started down the stairs as he climbed them and met her at the landing.
“Keys,” I called, waiting as she dug into her purse and threw them at me. I gave them a minute to say their goodbyes or whatever the fuck they were doing before Jack turned to me.
“Meet you back at the clubhouse,” he said, as I climbed into the truck and gave him a two-finger salute before closing my door. Reina slid into the passenger seat beside me, remaining silent as she stared at Jack through the windshield.
“Where to?” I asked, as I backed out of the driveway and turned onto the street.
“Take me to church,” she whispered.
Fucking, hell.
Chapter Four
I climbed out of my truck, slamming the door behind me as I stared back at the house, wishing I had something to numb me. I knew the minute my eyes locked with hers I’d be reminded of the piece of shit I was. There would be no light that greeted me, no pretty smile to warm me and make me wish for a better way. I turned out Lacey’s light and put pain in the pretty eyes of my angel.
I ran my fingers roughly through my hair as I walked up the few steps, wondering what the fuck I would do or say that could make this better. As I made my way toward the door I could hear the muffled sound of music—I paused, trying to make out the song when I noticed the door was slightly ajar. Instantly, I reached behind me, pulling my gun from the waistband of my jeans and aimed it at the door as I toed it open with my boot.
“Lacey?” I called as I stepped into the foyer, the barrel of my gun pointed straight ahead as I kicked the door closed behind me and followed the sound of music.
I turned the corner, stepping into the living room and spotted her on the couch. She lifted her eyes to mine, wiping them with the back of her hands.
I lowered my gun as my feet paused mid stride and I took in her face. Her usually flawless skin was blotchy and her eyes were swollen from all the tears she shed. Girl, must’ve been crying for a while. I can’t remember ever seeing her cry and thank Christ for that because looking at her now was tearing me up inside.
I’m not the guy that dries tears and makes things okay. But right now? That’s the guy I want to be. I can’t fucking help myself when it comes to her. She makes me want to be all the things I’m not.
“I didn’t hear the door,” she mumbled, tipping her chin to the music playing from the surround sound.