In his silence, April spoke first. “You want to tell me what’s going on, Kai?” Her voice was slightly accusatory, but mainly worried. Kai swallowed. He’d let this go on for far too long. He should have ended things after that disastrous first date. Or never agreed to date her in the first place.
Looking up, he whispered, “This is all my fault. Please don’ be mad at Jessie for what she said to you. She was angry at me, not you.” He shook his head. “She just didn’t express it correctly, but she really was looking out for you.” Kai wanted to cringe; he was pushing the envelope of truth in that statement, and he knew it, but in a way, it was true. Jessie’s anger had been more for Kai than April.
As April shook her head, confused, Kai said, “She adores you, April. She just doesn’t want to see you get hurt.” Kai finally smiled. That was completely true.
Still looking like she didn’t understand, April shoved her hands in her coat pockets. “That doesn’t make any sense. You wouldn’t hurt me. You’re a good guy.”
Kai had to avert his eyes. He hated what he knew that April didn’t. A good guy didn’t shove his hands down a girl’s pants while preparing for a date with a different one. A good guy didn’t do any of the things he’d done with his cousin. No, Kai felt like anything but a good guy. But maybe he could start atoning, right now. Looking back at April, he whispered, “There’s someone else. A girl…from my past.”
He had to blink away the emotion stinging his eyes after saying that out loud. April’s face went ghostly pale; that was a sentence no woman liked hearing. A wrenching pain ripped through Kai, but ignoring it, he fortified his stomach. He had to do this. “I’m so sorry, April. She and I…we can’t be together, and I thought that if I dated you, I could get over her. I thought I could move on.” He sighed as thoughts of Jessie filled his brain. “But I can’t move on. She’s all I think about…”
Sadness swept through him, chilling him to the bone, as the feelings for Jessie that he tried to keep buried deep, bubbled up; each one lashed his heart as it burst open. Kai watched April’s eyes begin to shimmer, and he knew she had finally understood what he was saying. So there could be no doubt, he bluntly told her it was over. “I don’t see us going anywhere, April, and I think, if we kept seeing each other, I’d just be leading you on.” He shrugged and when he spoke again, his voice was ragged with emotion. “My heart is…somewhere else. I’m so sorry.”
April was silent for long moments, and her eyes watered to a point that Kai was positive would spill over into tears. Then she inhaled a deep breath, shook her head, and smiled. “I guess I should have known that a guy as great as you, wouldn’t be available.” She sighed, her shoulders slumping, and indicated where Jessie was in the house with her thumb. Kai tried to block the image of Jessie on the floor, crying. “Is that why she got so weird? Why she didn’t want us to sleep together?”
“Yes,” he whispered, his voice strained. “She knows…how I feel.” About her, he added in his head. And she also knew why they couldn’t feel that way about each other.
April smiled with one edge of her lip; it was a sad one. “I suppose I should thank you, for telling me about her before we slept together. Most men would have waited until afterwards.”
Kai gave her an equally sad smile. “I should have said something earlier, and I’m sorry I didn’t. I was just hoping to feel…something for you.” His smile turned genuine. “I wanted to like you, April, I really did. You’re very enticing.”
April grinned as she stared at the ground. Shifting her stance, she let out a wistful sigh. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but a part of me wishes you’d waited until afterwards.” She peeked up at him, a devilish smile on her face.
Kai felt his cheeks heating and bit back a smile. “I think it’s better this way. Less confusing.” He eyed her for a moment. She was undeniably beautiful, with a sensuous nature that made men weak in the knees, but underneath it all, she had a good heart. He hoped some guy took the time to find it one day. Giving her a serious look, he quietly said, “You don’t need to try so hard, you know.” She frowned, not following. “To get men to notice you,” he explained. “They do. Trust me, they notice you.”
April smiled warmly at him. “Whoever this girl is…she’s an idiot for not being with you.” Kai forced a smile onto his face. No, she wasn’t an idiot. She just wasn’t an option. But he couldn’t tell April that, she wouldn’t understand. Not noticing the rigidness of his smile, April sighed and said, “I’m going to miss going out on dates with you.”
Kai laughed and gave her a wry smile. “April, you hated the date I took you on.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I did.” With a thoughtful look on her face, she gave him a once-over. “And you hated the date I took you on, didn’t you?”
Kai grinned. “I hate costumes.” He playfully raised an eyebrow at her.
Her an amused smile, she admitted, “I hate bugs.”
Kai chuckled. “I hate techno music.”
“I hate wearing a helmet,” she said with a laugh.
“I hate drinks that come with little umbrellas.”