“I hate carnations.”
Kai laughed, remembering when she’d told him they were her favorite. He shook his head. “I hate being put on display in front of other people, especially when I’m dressed as a pirate.”
April tilted her head back in a hearty laugh. Shaking her head, she shrugged. “Well, I refuse to recycle.”
Kai laughed with her. “See, April, you and I really are not compatible at all.”
She let out a sad sigh. “Yeah, I know.” She crooked a playful grin. “You’re just hot enough that I was willing to overlook that fact. Plus, I’ve learned the value of a man who knows how to kiss well, and you…” As her voice trailed off, she closed her eyes and bit her lip.
Kai shook his head as he studied their shoes. Peeking up at her, he asked, “Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.” She extended a hand out to him. “It was nice getting to know you. Thank you for being a decent guy.”
Kai smiled as he shook her hand. “It was my pleasure, April, and I know you’re going to make some man very, very happy.”
April grinned, then cocked her head. “Just not you.”
“Not me, not in that way. But I’d like to think we can still be friends?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
April smiled as she wrapped an arm around his waist. “I can always use another friend, Kai.” She grinned as he put his arm over her shoulder, then her expression turned serious. “I hope you get your girl. You deserve to get the girl.”
Kai forced the smile to remain on his face as he nodded. It wasn’t the fact that he couldn’t get the girl that was bothering Kai. No, if things were different, he and Jessie would be together, and they would be happy too. Getting her wasn’t the problem. It was that he shouldn’t get her. Dating his cousin wasn’t something Kai was willing to do. No matter how much he wanted to.
Kai woke up early the next morning and stared at his ceiling. He felt like he’d been staring at his ceiling all night long. It was the last thing he remembered doing—staring at his ceiling while his mind spun with thoughts and emotions he shouldn’t be having, that he wished he could turn off. Since he was lying in the exact same position he’d fallen asleep in, Kai wondered if he’d even slept. Maybe he’d only briefly closed his eyes. If his room wasn’t filled with a gray, pre-dawn light, he might have believed that, but the last time he’d stared straight above him, he hadn’t been able to make out the texture on the walls in the pitch-black room. Now his eyes could easily distinguish each pattern in the surface.
He’d been debating what to do last night, after the incident with Jessie. Could they ignore what had happened between them and continue their camaraderie? Could he laugh and joke with her, and not think about the way she’d moaned in his ear? Would that sound ever leave him?
Sighing, Kai shifted in his bed. How could they ever trust themselves to be alone again? Not when the memory of that passion, boiling just under the surface, was still there. Always there. Closing his eyes, Kai remembered slamming her back into the door. She ignited a primal part of him. He’d wanted to rip off every piece of her clothing and drive deep inside her. He’d never wanted anyone so intensely. And sickeningly enough, just lying in bed thinking about it, he still wanted it; he could even feel his body responding.
Concentrating on the ceiling, Kai let out a long, slow exhale as he tried to calm himself. He couldn’t think about it. He had to stop seeing her that way. Not for the first time, Kai cursed the fact that they’d grown up so far apart from each other. If he and Jessie had known each other as kids, he would only see her as family. But they hadn’t. She was a virtual stranger to him, family only because someone had named her as such. He felt connected with her, but not as a relative. No, he felt connected to her…as a man to a woman. And he couldn’t. He couldn’t knowingly be with her. It was wrong. It was twisted. It was sick.
And yet…
Sighing again, Kai sat up and scrubbed his face. No. If he couldn’t stop thinking of her romantically, then there was only one way for them to both get out of this mess. Reluctantly, he turned his gaze to his cell phone. He desperately did not want to have to make the call that he knew without a doubt he had to make.
His eyes watered just looking at the time on the screen. Time. He wanted so much more of it with her. But more time would only lead to more chances for them to cave. And they’d already proven to each other, over and over again, that they could, and would, cave to the desire between them. He had to stop the cycle. He had to do the right thing, just like he had with April.