Kai lips compressed as he struggled to not lose control, to not breakdown. Jessie nodded. “I know. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Shaking his head, he closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. The hand trembled, along with his voice. “I thought that we could get through this…attraction together, but it’s gone so far beyond that now, I don’t think it’s even possible to work through it.”
Jessie stepped forward. Standing a foot away, she reached out and swiped her thumb under his tired eyes, drying the tear marks. He let out a soft exhale as he leaned into her touch. “What are you saying, Kai?”
His eyes slowly opened, and a new tear ran over Jessie’s thumb. “We need…space, Jessie.” Reaching up, he grabbed her hand and pulled it away from his skin. His words mixed with his action in an ominous way that caught Jessie’s breath. As his tropical eyes searched hers, he whispered, “We tried just being family, we tried placing another person between us, and we even tried not seeing each other.” He shook his head as Jessie felt her own tears freely falling down her skin. His sad eyes watched them as he continued. “And all that did…all that lead to was the two of us…”
Stopping, he bit his lip. Jessie flushed as thoughts of their last encounter ran through her mind again. His eyes flicked over her face. “Even now, I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, and I want to tell you that I…I…” He stopped again and sighed. “And I can’t. I shouldn’t. Because this is wrong.”
He released her hand still in his, and took a step away from her. “If we stay in the same city…if we stay around each other at all, it’s going to happen again. Our lives are too connected. With Gran, with your friends…the world is too small.” Kai averted his eyes, like he couldn’t bear to look at her directly while he was breaking her heart. “I can’t do this. I can’t hurt my family like that. I can’t let you hurt our family like that. As much as I want you, as much as I need you, this is wrong, Jessie. It’s twisted and sick and…” he looked back at her, his eyes hurt, tired, and apologetic, “…and I can’t stop thinking about you. So…for now…I need to go home.”
Jessie felt her chest constrict. She couldn’t breathe. Somehow, she managed to croak out, “Will you come back?”
Another tear fell from his eye as he shrugged. “I don’t know.”
She nodded, feeling dizzy. Not knowing how she’d survive the pain just starting to eat a hole through her stomach, she muttered, “If not today, when will you leave?”
Kai sighed, and his hand started to reach out to her before dropping back to his side. “I need to let work know that I’ve had a change of heart. I thought I’d give them two weeks, starting tomorrow…”
Jessie found herself stepping back, running into the door. She was grateful for its hard, unforgiving shape; it was the only thing keeping her upright. Two weeks? That was all the time she had left with the love of her life?
Her hands lifted to her cheeks as she struggled with the simple act of standing and breathing. Who knew that things she’d been doing since infancy, could suddenly become so hard? But the pain she felt was so much worse than any other pain a boy had given her. It made the crushing blow of discovering Jeremy’s betrayal seem like a pleasant experience in comparison. And it was ten times worse, because she knew he was right. She couldn’t be angry with Kai, because he was doing the right thing. If he stayed in Denver, even if they tried to never see each other, life would find a way to cross their paths, and they would cave again. They loved each other too much to resist the pull. She was positive of that now, and so was Kai. That was why he was breaking his own heart to put himself as far away from her as possible, and Jessie knew that she had to let him leave. They shouldn’t be together. They couldn’t be together. Even still, she had no idea how to be apart from him either.
As she felt herself starting to sink to the floor, Kai’s arms were suddenly around her. He gave her strength, helping her stand, and she clutched at him, never wanting to let him go. Her arms cinched tightly around his neck, and his arms wrapped completely around her ribs. She finally felt whole…and it sickened her. Weeping into his shoulder, she managed to get out, “Can I be there…at the airport, when you leave?”
Kai pulled back to look at her, his fingers coming up to brush her tears away. Nodding, he rested his head against hers. “Yeah…I’d like that.” He sighed as he shook his head. “No, I need that.”
She exhaled a stuttered breath and unintentionally brushed her lips against his. “We shouldn’t see each other until then,” she whispered.
Kai choked back a sob as his lips brushed against hers. “I know,” he murmured.
Jessie allowed a tender kiss between them. It was short, but held far more emotion than any other kiss she’d received in her lifetime. Immediately after their lips parted ways, she whispered, “I’ll miss you, Kai.”