The sound of the truck breaking pulls me back to the reality of the nightmare I'm living. I'm lifted to my feet by the ropes that I'm bound by and shoved face first off the back of the truck. I will kill this mother fucker the second I'm free. I can smell his fucking filth everywhere and will never forget it.
The feeling of my body scraping against the ground again pulls to surface the pain I'm trained to deal with. It doesn't make it easier. I fight the urge to vomit as they drag me into a wooded area. The rustling of dried leaves crunching under their boots on what I can imagine as a stoned filled road burns into my memory. I’m trying to recognize everything I can. I'm hoping like fuck that I'll need this information in the near future.
The voices from their foreign language all ring in my head long after I’m tossed into some sort of cold cemented cell, the metal door is slammed sealing me to my fate for now. These men have no idea who they have fucked with. I’ll build my strength in here. My mind begins to run a race of its own. I roll over and spit out the blood that's pooling in my mouth and try not to think about anything but her.
Jade’s beautiful skin lights up my memories and even through this fucking hell, I can feel her. I know she's mad as fuck and won't stop until she gets to me. This should be comforting to me, but it scares the fuck out of me. I can handle anything they do to torture me, but if they lay one fucking finger on her it'll feel like I'm being gutted.
I have to keep her inside and safe. She'll give me the strength I need to get through this no matter what my fate is and I know my team won't let anything happen to her. That’s all I can do for now. I'll let her be my angel in this hell. She's my blonde haired beauty. The woman I’m falling in love with and she'll be the strength I need to survive.
I hear more voices outside the door and I work to translate their disgusting words that are barely audible to my ears. Chicken shit motherfuckers. My knowledge of how this works should have me shitting myself in fear, but I'll be fucking damned if these assholes will ever smell fear coming from me.
I wish they'd come in here and untie me. Let me have a fair chance against their bullshit. But I know how this works. Most likely I'll be left here to die unless they find a reason to keep me alive. In the grand scheme of things that isn't likely. They can do whatever they want to me. I can spend the last few days of my life knowing I succeeded. I never once faltered my country and given the chance to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. There's only one thing I'd do different. I can't change it now and even if I could, I'm not sure how I could stay away.
A tiny tear slips out of my eye and across my nose as I think about the way it should be. I was so close to having everything. My heart is still full and even though I'll most likely never feel her soft skin again, I swear I can smell her right here and now. I swallow hard and acknowledge the reality of this situation. The odds of me making it through this are very slim. I can only hold on to the memories and die with a vision of her in my head.
Their voices get louder and I translate a few of their words. I know they're coming in soon to attempt to get me to talk. I will never talk. I swallow around the large lump in my throat and begin to accept my fate.
I'll die soon with only one regret. Jade.
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Acknowledgements by Kathy
This part is easy for me. I have to thank my partner Hilary Storm for this unbelievable journey we are on.
We are having the time our lives writing together. Even though we write differently, we still fit together perfectly. The way we consume each other’s ideas. Focus and plan. Our phone calls, text messages, all of it has been done in a way no words can express. The greatest thing about this is, our friendship has blossomed into one of a sisterhood. I will cherish her forever.
To my husband and children-Day in you hear about my stories. The support, the pride you show me when you honest to god listen will last beyond this lifetime.
To our editor Julia Goda-Snap woman. You are as badass as they come.
To Golden - The photo god. The genius. Thank you for everything you have done to make this possible for the two of us.
To our cover models Tessi and Dylan-We both look forward to this wild and crazy ride the four of us are about to set sail on. Damn, this is going to be fun.
To our BETA readers-We nailed it you said. Here’s to all of you.
To Helena - My friend, my sanity. What can I say, except thank you for always having my back. For jumping on board with this project and running free like the wind to help Hilary and I succeed.