Hate To Love You

Shay came over. “I can help put some of this away.” He held up a bra, a twinkle in his eyes as he stuffed it in the drawer. He only touched the bras, underwear, and sexy shirts. He gave me a few of them as a Christmas present. Once my clothes were put away, the only things left were my books. They were left in a pile on my desk, but Shay had other things on his mind.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Can we take a break?”

I leaned back, looking up at him. I felt a matching grin coming to my face. We both knew what he wanted to do for his break. “It’s my first night with my roommates.”

“And we’re going to Shay’s,” Casey said, coming into the main room from the solitary bedroom it was attached to. Our dorm consisted of two rooms. One with some closets, all of the desks, and the main living area. The second room held the rest of our closets and the beds. Casey and Kristina had been in there helping the guys get the beds all put together. I wasn’t sure which was mine, but it didn’t really matter. I’d sleep wherever.

I asked, “Shay’s?”

Shay’s hand moved to my waist, but he was still pressed up against me.

“Yeah.” She picked up one of her books and put it on the shelf above her desk. “They’re having people over for beer and pizza. He didn’t tell you?” She nodded to the boyfriend behind me.

“No.”

Shay barked out a laugh, his fingers flexing against my skin. “I didn’t know myself, but the guys might’ve talked about it and I might not have been listening.” He kissed my neck and murmured into my ear, “We can leave early.”

I suppressed one of those addictive shivers. “You guys are heading there soon?”

Kristina was still in the bedroom, but Casey waved at me. “Go. Make sweet, sweet love to your man. I have a car up here now, so we’ll be over in an hour or two.”

Shay didn’t waste time. He caught my hand and led the way out. A few girls were coming in through the back door, and one gasped at the sight of Shay. Her eyes went wide, and her hand jumped to cover her mouth. Two of her friends paused, and one asked as we passed and headed out, “Who was that?”

“That was Sha—”

The door closed behind us.

Shay glanced to me, but I just shook my head. He was sporting a smirk. I didn’t need to let his head grow any bigger than it was. “Keep walking, Hard-On.”

He barked out a laugh and tightened his hold on me.

We went to his house, but Linde and a group of people I didn’t know were on the back patio. They all wanted to say hello to Shay. He went round the table, fisting those who held their closed fists up, saying hello to some of the others, and hugging a few girls. The girls initiated the hug, not Shay, but I knew he couldn’t reject them. I understood. This was part of his life. He was already popular when I met him. Nothing changed over the year, except us. He was still the big man on campus, and it wasn’t because he threw his weight around. He just was.

And moments like this, where I was pretty sure even he didn’t know who some of these people were, he never let them know. They knew him, so he returned the greeting, and when he caught my hand and said our goodbyes, I saw the residue he left. It was a good kind of residue, where they felt warm and important, like they mattered.

That was Shay being himself, polite and considerate.

I had another come-to-Jesus moment. Shay wasn’t anything like I first thought. He was almost the opposite.

“What?” he asked, frowning as he opened his bedroom door.

“Nothing.”

“No.” He put his keys on his dresser and stood there as I sat on the edge of his bed. He started to reach for his shirt to pull it off, but paused. He gave me a thoughtful look, cocking his head to the side and narrowing his eyes. “What is it? You definitely thought something there.”

He whisked his shirt off, disappearing into the closet and pulling a new one out. He pulled it on, his hands going to his pants. He paused, looked down, as if he forgot what he’d been doing, and shrugged. He left them on, crossing to pull his desk chair out and he sat, right in front of me. Catching my hands between his, he leaned forward. His elbows rested on his knees, and his legs rested on the outside of mine, trapping me in place. “Tell me what’s up.”

I watched as he toyed with one of my hands, tracing it with his fingers. “I was just really wrong about you in the beginning.” I shrugged. “That’s all.”

“Wrong?” He lifted his head. “You know, we never really did talk about the beginning when you hated me.”

My throat stopped working. “You want me to tell you why I hated you?”

He nodded solemnly. “Why not?”

My throat was full for some reason. I coughed, clearing it, and started again. “I think I assumed you were like my ex.”

“The Parker guy?”

I raked my fingers through his hair. He ducked his head, a small rakish grin showing, and I felt flutters in my stomach. I sighed. “He looked like you.”

“He did?” Shay grimaced, continuing to trace his fingers over my palms.

“He wasn’t as good-looking as you. You beat him in spades in that area.”

He stopped tracing my palm and held my hands between his. “Thank goodness for that, huh?”

I gazed at our hands, my mind in memories. “He was arrogant, but I didn’t notice. Not at first.”

He asked me for coffee. I thought how mature he must’ve thought I was. But no. He knew exactly the effect of his charm. A mere freshman being asked out by a senior.

I had swooned.

“We went on a few dates before anything happened. I thought maybe he was scared to make a move, since most guys were. You know, because of Gage.” I could only shake my head. “That was so far from the truth. He was biding his time. He wanted me to fall completely in love with him.” A bitter laugh slipped out. “I found out later that he had a timetable. He wanted to make sure I was under his thumb by the time Christmas came around. Blake had been gone on a work thing. He was coming back then, and he wanted to meet my new boyfriend. Parker told me to keep it as a surprise. He thought Blake would get a kick out of it, so I never said his name. I was vague on the details, too. Blake just knew there was a guy.”

“He didn’t ask Gage?”

“Gage didn’t know how much Blake hated Parker. Blake kept everything a secret. We didn’t find out what happened until later.”

So, I told him.

Parker was a year younger than Blake, but he was still leader of the debate team, Yearbook Jr. Editor, and then Senior Editor later on, and in all sorts of academic events.

He was captain of the swimming and boys tennis team.

Blake was the opposite.

He excelled at partying, football, wrestling, and baseball. They were both popular, but Blake ran with friends who didn’t fight with words. They fought with their hands, and one night at a party, the two went at it. It didn’t matter that Parker was younger.

Blake humiliated him.

Parker was stripped of his clothes. The guys were laughing at him. There was an incident about running through a field where they chased him like he was a deer.

It wasn’t right, and I heard enough to be horrified.

The police charged my brother, and he did a year of probation. He never went to college, instead he stayed home and got a job with a local construction company.