“I deserved you to try,” I whisper.
“I know, Lucy, and I’m sorry. I put my job first. My feelings. My wants. I didn’t do right by you, and now you’re seeing someone else and I hate it. I fucking hate it.”
I flinch.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Gerard.”
“Say you’ll take me back, we can give it another go, we can try. We can do something . . . anything . . .”
I hate that I have to turn him down, but I can never take him back. Not now. It would never be an honest love again. “That’s not going to happen; you know it can’t. There are going to be so many more hard times, and if you can’t deal with them . . .”
“I’ll get help, work harder . . .”
“Gerard,” I say softly. “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
“It’s barely been two months!” he yells. “That’s a lie.”
“It’s not.”
Because I’ve fallen in love with someone else.
“Lucy, please.” He steps forward, cupping my face. “Please.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, because it does hurt to see him like this. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“No,” he croaks, pulling me closer and slamming his lips against mine.
I let him, for a few seconds. A little for him. A little for me. I know it’s time to let him go, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t causing pain. He was a huge part of my life, and I truly had no plans on giving him up. I guess it’s a goodbye kiss. A final one. So I let him, just for one second. I let him kiss me.
“Gerard,” I whisper, pulling back. “It’s time to let go.”
I glance past him and see Heath standing on my front path, staring up at me. My heart plummets into my stomach. I pull away from Gerard and step around him. “Wait!”
Heath’s already striding into the darkness.
“Heath!”
“What?” Gerard says, spinning around and staring at the man disappearing.
“Stop,” I cry rushing down the front steps.
By the time I reach the road, he’s gone into the shadows as if he were never there.
“Lucy, there’s nobody out here.”
Gerard didn’t see him.
“I have to go,” I yell, turning and rushing into the house and grabbing my keys. I don’t care that I’m in my pajamas—I just need to find him.
I get into my car without looking back at Gerard.
Dammit. I’m such an idiot.
CHAPTER 20
“Please let me in,” I say to Tank, who stands at the door, glaring at me. I can hear music playing behind him. They’re obviously having a party, but I know Heath is here because I saw his truck out front. I looked around town for him a while before coming out here, figuring he’d returned home. I was right.
“No.”
“Let me in,” I plead.
“No.”
I lose it. “Let me the fuck in or I’ll smash something.”
He blinks, but then his face grows hard again. “Go home, girl.”
“Fine, have it your way.” I storm around to the closest window and pick up the biggest rock I can find.
“Jesus,” Tank growls. “You’re fucking crazy.”
I raise it up. “I’ll throw it if you don’t let me see him.”
“He doesn’t want to see you.”
“I don’t care.”
Sighing, he steps aside. “Whatever. I couldn’t give a fuck what you two do.”
I drop the rock and with a triumphant smile, storm past him and into the warehouse. There are a few people around, some playing pool, others sitting on the couch, a few standing about drinking. I don’t know who they are; I don’t care. I walk in and look around, spying Heath on the sofa with a pretty blonde sitting next to him, her head thrown back with laughter.
Oh. Hell. No.
I storm over and stop in front of him. He flinches when he notices me, but keeps calm enough that it’s hardly noticeable. “Can we talk?” I say, letting my eyes run over the gorgeous blonde sitting way too close to him.
“I’m busy,” he mutters.
“Fine, then I’ll say it in front of everyone. It wasn’t what it looked like.” All chatter in the room quickly stops and the room goes quiet.
His face hardens. “Go back to your husband. I’m busy.”
I jerk. “Fuck you,” I hiss, and his eyes grow wild with rage.
“Pardon?”
“You heard me. I said fuck you. I’ve played this your way; I’ve done what you asked. I lost every-fucking-thing. Yes, he kissed me. Yes, I let him, but if you stopped to find out why, you’d know it was because I was letting him go.”
He says nothing.
“I was letting him go because I’ve finally accepted that kind of life is no longer something I want.”
“Take your excuses somewhere else,” he mutters.
“No,” I scream. “No, I will not. I’m taking them right here, and you’re going to hear me out.”
“Lucy,” he growls. “Leave.”
“Make me,” I hiss.
Heath stands, shoving the blonde away. He gets in my face and I hold my own, even though I probably look like a child going up against him.
“I don’t want you here. Go home and move on with your life.”
I raise my hands and shove his chest. “Fuck you, Heath.”