It’s Cole. It has always been him. He promised me forever. I promised him forever and a day because if he were to leave this world before me, I’d be lost. How would I survive?
When the tears have dried and all that is left is emptiness in my chest and my thoughts are the only thing roaming my mind, I pull back from him and push my chin forward.
Once Josh leaves, I climb the stairs on weary feet and head for my room, numbness cloaking my body. I change directions and shuffle down the hallway toward the bathroom.
“Eleanor.” My dad’s voice freezes me on the spot. Wiping the tears from my cheeks with my palm, I shift around to face the man I’ve come to hate with every single bone in my body. Bile rises up my throat at the mere sight of him.
I raise my chin and stare at him with what I hope is a brave look on my face. I won’t allow him to see how defeated I feel.
“One more thing.” His voice is cold, brimming with loathing. “You will not visit that boy in prison. You will not tell him about the child.” My eyes widen and my bravery facade disintegrates a little. “Yes, I know. Do you think I’m stupid to not realize that Josh never had a chance with you? I know the warden arranged a meeting with you and Cole in his office. Your conversation with his brother confirms that child is Cole’s. Defy me and you won’t like the consequences.”
Shock washes over me. “Please, stop. Just stop,” I whisper, terrified by his words. I’ve seen the horrors my dad unleashes when he’s defied or angry. I can’t even begin to imagine what he will do to Cole.
He sneers. “You should have listened to me when I asked you to stay away from that boy.”
I should have, but I couldn’t. The more determined he was to keep Cole and me apart, the harder we fought to be together.
I’ve never understood the mechanical workings of my father’s troubled brain or his actions. But one thing is for sure; I’ll heed his warning.
I thought I’d found my mental balance after the last few months of therapy, but I’m not sure about that anymore. I feel it slipping away. I’m drowning in guilt, praying for a miracle. My mornings are full of morning sickness and my nights are spent crying myself to sleep. I can’t handle school, so I dropped out, I don’t think I’ll be going back after Christmas break. I’m breaking. I don’t want to. The doctor said I have to take care of myself or I might lose the babies.
Yes. Babies. She confirmed that I was carrying twins. I’m caught between wanting these babies so much that my entire being aches with need, and fear because I’m too young to be a mom. I’m also terrified of bringing them into a world where my dad exists.
And then there’s Cole. He still doesn’t know I’m carrying his children. Any chance of telling him was destroyed after Josh’s last visit to the prison. When he returned home, he told me that Cole had a broken nose and a sprained ankle. My monster of a father confirmed it later that evening with a smirk. His message was loud and clear.
Josh and I decided to talk to his parents about our current situation right after my dad’s ultimatum. His father had words with my father, but it didn’t go well. We didn’t even have any proof that my father is responsible for the kind of brutality Cole has endured while in prison. And after Josh’s visit, the decision for us to get married was cemented. My father had won in that aspect. Cole was coming home soon. Getting married to fool my father was the only way to go until my boyfriend was safe at home. Josh and I planned to annul the marriage on the grounds of marriage under duress.
We had it all planned. What we didn’t expect is that, our plan would be blown to pieces. My father’s plan for revenge was in full momentum as he set the date for the wedding, coinciding it with Cole’s release from prison. It was time for the woman who had rejected him, and the boy my dad blames for the said rejection to pay.
We just had to make sure we got to Cole in time before he got the news.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE girl, I used to dream of finding a man who would sweep me off my feet and take me away from my sucky life. Far, far away from my father. He’d drop on one knee and ask me to marry him, and then we’d get married in a big church. I’d wear the most beautiful white gown with a train that goes on for miles.