That illusion shattered when I was a teen and I realized that no one could love a girl full of scars, both inside and out, and a messed up mind. A mind that terrifies her sometimes. I lived that dream by watching romantic comedies while eating ice cream and popcorn.
Then I met Cole, and that part of me that believed in fairy tales, unicorns and fairy dust stirred to life. He saw me. He looked past my scars and saw the frightened girl I was. He embraced me. Desired me and he never attempted to hide his feelings from me. He loved me so hard, so desperately, so fiercely I literally burned bright from inside out with his love. And I loved him and still love him so violently my heart twirls and spins and does all these dangerous things that would be harmful under different circumstances. Our love is the kind of love that would make Romeo and Juliet stand up and applaud. The kind you feel in your bones. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Cole and me, walking down the aisle, smiling and looking into each other’s eyes.
I never expected my life to turn out this way.
I’m standing in front of a mirror in an empty room at St. Christopher’s Church, the place that used to bring me peace, is now wreaking havoc in me. I’m wearing a simple white dress, holding a bouquet of roses, getting ready to walk down the aisle toward the wrong brother. I close my eyes and see my mother like I saw her last night, smiling sadly at me. She’s lying in bed, wasting away in a mess of abandoned dreams, rejected love and heartbreak. She murmurs that I’m doing the right thing to save the boy I love. I want her to hold me so badly. To comfort me. But she can barely lift her head Her body is riddled with antipsychotics and I keep wondering if she’ll ever be the same woman who brought me in to this world; vibrant, caring and full of laughter. I swear to myself that after this is over, I’ll get her the help she needs.
I open my eyes and find my best friend’s brown eyes staring back at me worriedly. Pain lurks in them.
“I’m so, so sorry, Megs,” I tell her, guilt writhing inside me. She and Simon aren’t talking at the moment. Simon is currently doing his internship in Miami, so he has been in the dark about what is happening. He’s very loyal to Cole and I knew he’d tell him about me being pregnant. Simon suspects something is wrong and she refuses to tell him.
She shrugs. “It’s not my place to tell Simon what is happening. If Cole has to hear it from someone, it has to be you and not my boyfriend.”
I love this girl. I adore her for her relentless loyalty to me, even though it led to her breaking up with the love of her life.
She cups my hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. “I know you’re sorry, honey. I don’t regret my decision for even a second. Everything will work out, okay? Let’s get this wedding over with. Cole’s parents are on the way to pick him up. I’m sure he will understand the situation here. You and Josh didn’t have a choice. Both of you are pawns in a game that has no rules.”
Megs hugs me tight before she pulls away and looks at me with tears in her eyes. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Thank you for being my corner stone,” I say, tears running down my face.
The door opens and Elise and Elon step inside the room. They look stunning in matching lavender dresses, but the look on their faces dulls the beauty. My father made sure his show was spectacular and went all the way.
“It’s time, sis,” Elise says, offering me a comforting smile. “Everyone is waiting.”
I nod and force a smile. “Let’s do this.” I walk toward the door and stop to hug my siblings. “I love you both so much.”
“We love you too,” they say in unison.
“Let’s show The Monster that he hasn’t won in any way,” Elise says, tugging the strap of my dress back over my shoulder.
Minutes later, I’m standing at the back of the church, watching through the veil that covers my face as my sisters walk down the aisle. Soon, the Wedding March song fills the air. My father appears at my side. I feel his hand on my elbow and I jerk mine away.
“Don’t touch me,” I snarl under my breath.
His hand falls away. We start to walk toward Josh, who is standing stoically before the pew. His eyes hooded in the pain caused by what he has to do. Glancing to my side, I see a few people, some wearing police uniforms. They stare at me as I pass and I wonder if they know the kind of man they work with. The man they respect. The Monster among them.
My gaze shifts to the other side of the aisle and I meet Grandma’s eyes. She dabs her eyes with a handkerchief using fingers ridden with arthritis. She shakes her head as if she can’t believe what is happening. I pull my gaze from her and focus on the man standing a few feet away. Josh tugs at his tie and then coughs into his hand. His lips quirk to the sides even though that smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
Suddenly, his entire body freezes. His gaze lifts above my head. Fear washes over his features. I halt mid-stride, my pulse picking up a furious beat in my ear. Only one thing can make him react this way.
Cole.