“I got you, Snowflake,” I say, kissing her hair. “I got you.”
My words unlock something in her. She lets herself go and she cries. I continue to hold her, tightening my hands around her and comforting her with words. Holding Nor like this fills my heart, reminding me how good we used to fit together.
Leaning back, I comb her hair back and just stare at her, taking in her tear-filled eyes, pink nose scattered with freckles. Flushed cheeks and snot running down her nose. My fucking heart trips on itself, overriding my brain.
She has never looked more beautiful.
“Tell me about my brother. I feel like I missed out on knowing him these past nine years.”
She bites her cheek, softly smiles then wipes her cheeks with her nightgown.
“He loved the girls so much. He taught them how to fish,” she signs. She tells me how Josh freaked out when her water broke, that he fainted when he saw Joce pop out of her. Woke up and fainted again when he saw Cora. She laughs. I tighten my hands, a lump forming in my throat. I should have been the one there welcoming my babies in to this world. “He was the best friend I could ever have asked for. He was so good to me and the girls, even though staying with us meant him losing any chance of meeting someone who loved him as he wanted to be loved.”
Then she starts to sob again. I have so many questions running through my mind, but I push them to the back of my head and tighten my arms around her.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here,” I say, rubbing her back in circles.
Nor lifts her head from my chest and looks at me. She raises her hand and softly touches my jaw. Every nerve in my body is centered on her fingers, lessening the ache of losing my brother, of missing out on my children’s lives, of losing Nor. I fucking hate how much I crave her touch. We still have a lot to talk about, but no one has ever touched me like she just did seconds ago, since her.
Nor shifts on my lap, leaning forward without breaking eye contact. She kisses my jaw, my cheek. When her lips brush against mine, her eyes fall shut and she exhales hard. My fingers are gripping her hips, moving up to cup her face. I shudder and groan when she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth.
“Fuck, Nor,” I breath into her. My heart’s beating fast inside my chest. Her hands are touching me everywhere, fast, desperate.
She leans back and stares at me. “Kiss me, Cole. Just, please kiss me. I need to forget for just tonight what I lost. What we lost.”
I’m so eager to erase the crippling pain in my chest. Eager to feel Nor again. So I give her what she wants because it’s what I want too. What I frantically need. Her lips on mine. Her skin on mine. Quenching the hunger that is still buried in me even after all this time. Within seconds, I’m kicking my shoes off and she’s lying horizontal and I’m on top of her. I wedge my leg between her thighs and throw her arms over her head, arching her lower body up, grinding her covered * on my jean-covered crotch.
Jesus fucking Christ.
“So damn sexy,” I say, as she moves beneath me, her lips parted. I lean forward, slide my hand up her throat and wrap my fingers around the nape of the neck. My thumb moves along the column of her neck. He skin vibrates and my cock presses harder on my zipper.
I need to bury myself inside her or I might die. Our legs tangle, my fingers fighting to get more of her. They remember the map of her body as if we’ve never been apart. I can’t remember the last time I felt a hunger this deep. My mouth trails down her neck, across her chest. I take her nipple between my lips and suck it, then move to the other one and do the same thing. Her body writhes under me, her mouth parted.
I lift my head to look at her as my hand slides under her white flimsy nightgown, I brush her * and push a finger inside her.
“So wet,” I say.
Her hooded eyes meet mine and I’m three seconds away from jerking off in my pants.
She opens that mouth and I can’t stop watching those lips. “Make me forget, Cole.” I know she wants me to fuck her into oblivion, because I want that too. I want to forget everything. I need to forget for just one night. “No one has ever touched me like you used to. No one else has been in there since you. I want to feel again.”
My finger inside stops. “What?”
She startles, stares at me with wide eyes and licks her lips. She probably didn’t intend for those words to slip out.
This is probably not the right moment to ask, but I do. That animal part of me that claimed her eleven years ago needs to know. “You and Josh never. . .”
She shakes her head. I remove my hands from below her dress and sit up. Drag my fingers through my hair and lower my head.
What the fuck am I doing?
I stand up from the couch, glance up at the ceiling. Shit. Shit. Shit.