I place my head in my hands. Ever since I found out it was him, I’ve been trying to convince myself I wanted to destroy him, hurt him in the same way he’s hurt us. I need to wipe his body from the earth and pretend like he never existed.
I’m a hardass and a man of my word, but somehow, I’m a brother to a man who has committed horrendous crimes I can’t even fathom. He’s my goddamn brother, and no matter how hard I try to convince myself the torture he’s put me through and the half-empty life he’s left my mother to lead gives him reason to die, it still doesn’t settle well with me. The rage I’ve felt for him for everything he’s done still boils in me, but the fact remains… he’s my mother’s son. He’s my brother. I need a damn moment to grieve the fact the boy I knew is already truly dead. This man walking around in his body isn’t the kid I grew up with.
I’ve tried to tell myself he was already dead to us, but seeing his face on this monitor, hearing his voice call out commands, and watch his men deliver his demands creates a whole new array of feelings. I wish I could break through the lies that have become his fucked-up life, to make him see, just one damn time, that I tried, god only knows I tried. And I failed him.
“Kaleb.” I snap my head up, my eyes blazing at Pierce.
“This shit isn’t on you, brother. It’s on him. Don’t rile yourself up. You tried to help him. He chose this, not you.” I know he’s trying to help me see things for what they really are. I figured that out years ago. It’s seeing all this new information that has me wishing he would’ve listened to me. I could’ve saved him, and now I have to kill him.
“I’m good. Let’s finish this up. Figure out where they could be hiding and find out if he’s here in the States or not. This needs to be put to rest.”
“The last known place this Fernando was spotted was in Columbia. That was two weeks ago. It’s like he’s fallen off the radar after that until last night,” Kase points out.
“Of course, he did. This is a domino effect, man. He’ll hide out again for a while. He may even disappear and let Fernando take the fall. You know damn well he knows he’s been narked on. Shit, this is the closest he’s come to being caught.” Steele, always the smart one, tells us like it is.
“Yeah, well. That shit is on the government, man. My concern is finding Ty. None of that shit gives you a clue at all? I mean, hell, they have to know something,” I stand again and point directly to the same monitor, the same sheets of paper, maps, and endless notes we’ve all been looking at for hours.
“Our hands are tied until Mexico gets back with our authorities. We can’t do shit about Fernando, but we have a phone number for your fucking brother. I say call his ass.” Jackson leans back in his chair, grinning like he’s looking forward to the call.
I’ve already thought about calling him if we were somehow able to track down a number for him. I just wanted to make sure I had everyone safe before I got him on the phone. I know it’s not going to end on a good note, so I’m playing it safe.
“I will the second my mom and sister land. Until then, I don’t want him to know I’m onto his ass.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JADE
The road is never ending, and even though I’ve done nothing but sleep, the time doesn’t seem to be passing fast enough. I feel confined, and my mind won't stop thinking about Kaleb. He’s the most stubborn man, and I wish like hell I hadn’t fallen so hard for him. I really thought I had gained his respect and wouldn’t ever have to face him treating me any different because we grew closer. It’s like just because of our connection, he’s shutting me out on this mission. I’m sure it’s hit him that it all changes when someone you love is in danger.
It’s just different. I learned that very quickly in Mexico. I mean, I’ve always loved my brothers, both in and out of the Army, but what I have with Kaleb goes much deeper. Where I’d be devastated if I lost a brother in action, I’d be completely ruined if anything happened to Kaleb. He’s my weakness. I wanted him to remain my strength because when we first got together, he was. He built me up, only to throw me down when he felt I didn’t need to be involved anymore.
I wipe a tear from my cheek when Harris’ phone rings. I listen to him vague talk his way through a conversation I’m sure Kaleb is on the other end of. Tucking my hoodie back into the corner of the window, I close my eyes and try to ignore everything.
“That was Kaleb. He asked about you.” Harris’ voice forces my eyes open.
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him you’ve been better.” He looks over at Mallory in the front seat, then back at me.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t tell him shit about me, Harris. If he wants to know how I am, he can call me.” I lay my head back into the sweatshirt before he responds.
“Would you fucking answer his call, Jade?”
“Yes.” I would answer his call, but I won’t see him. I don’t add that part because I know Harris is all team Kaleb now.