Even though anxiety is consuming my body, I can honestly say I don’t feel the need to take a pill to calm me. Knowing Kaleb is safe is all I need. Love is the bond and the strength to get a person through anything, especially when it’s this obvious it’s mutual.
Love, a word never on my radar, has now taken over my existence. My world revolves around this man.
I’m in love with him because of the deep connection I’ve felt with him from the second I laid eyes on him. Dealing with the torture of this week has only intensified my feelings towards him. My mind went crazy, thinking of everything he went through, as I examined all of the marks on his body. I can tell he was whipped many times. The wounds are starting to heal, but I’m afraid the surface scars will always be there. And I don’t even want to think about the internal scars something like this would bring.
I don’t care what he looks like or how much this will torment him. He takes me and I take him just the way he is. He’s been point blank about wanting me from the first day we met, and now it’s time I match his determination. His blastoff introduction to have me on my knees that first day could’ve so easily gone a different way. I’m just glad I felt the connection the second I laid eyes on him.
I shove these feelings aside as I make my way to the door. I swing it open, only to be swept off of my feet by Jackson.
“We heard the princess is awake.” He comes barreling in, followed by everyone else. I could laugh right now at the term Jackson used to address Kaleb, but I won’t. That’s Jackson’s story to tell.
“This princess is going to turn into an evil queen if you don’t get your filthy hands off of my woman. Now, motherfucker.”
I laugh. Right along with everyone else when they all stroll in with their big bodies, filling this small room to the brink where I actually smell testosterone over the bitter odor of the disinfectant I’ve been smelling for days.
“She’s a hell of a lot lighter than you are.” Placing me back down on the floor, Jackson winks then goes to Kaleb, who raises his brows in uncertainty.
“Man. You look a hell of a lot better than the last time we saw you. You holding up okay?” Harris, my rock for the past few days, stretches out his arm to shake Kaleb’s hand. He takes it, and their eyes meet. Kaleb says thank you, while Harris replies with his welcome.
“I’m good. Ready to get the hell out of here.”
“We’ll make it happen. Before we go, brother, you need to fill us in. We need to know what the hell happened to you. I’m not asking you to relive the hell they put you through. I’m asking if you know any of those motherfuckers. You kept talking in your sleep, and we’re all trying to figure out what’s going on here. Did they manage to break you and get any information?” It’s Kase who’s blunt and straight to the point.
“Do I look like they broke me? I’m still alive, fuckers. Of course, they didn’t break me. I would’ve died first, and all of you know that.”
“We’ve got the President up our asses. These two have the Army up theirs. This is all kinds of fucked up.” He points to both Harris and I. I’m about ready to tell him to calm down. That Harris and I are fine with our commanding officers. Yes, they want us back, but they know we need to be ready before we go back in.
This isn’t common behavior. We aren’t civilians like the rest of these guys. Our call of duty hasn’t been completed, but we're a team, and one of our men has been injured. Not to mention, he happens to be the man I love. The Army gets this, whether it’s right or wrong or even the proper way things are done. None of that matters. We’ve been briefed and our statements have been documented. This is our time. Our leave. We earned it.
What none of them know, though, not even Harris, is the minute I return, I’m going to do everything in my power to be put on this team for every mission from here on out. I’ve had too many days to dwell on this decision while staring into the blank, beaten face of the man I love. The only time I left here was to be briefed by a Sergeant Major from Lackland Air Force Base and shop for some damn clothes and necessities I needed until we get out of here.
My heart wants a life with Kaleb. After this and the killing of the boy in Afghanistan, I can’t worry about either one of us being away without the other. He’ll be thrilled about this; I know he will. Danger is part of this job. Worry will claw away at him, like it did me, if we're apart. He may be a hardass, but the man knows how hard I’ve worked for this. I deserve to be with Kaleb and he deserves to be with me. Everyone knows we work well together. The opposite is not in the cards for me. To have either one of us out in this world not knowing where the other one is will only tear us up every damn second. I’m not going through this again. I can’t.