I nod and try to accept her words while lifting her into my arms and heading for the stairs.
She snuggles into me, and the pressure in my chest is getting worse the closer I’m getting to bare all.
Perhaps I’ll feel nothing but relief once I’ve told her and she’s still here with me, like Dante suggested.
I’ve never felt as vulnerable as I do now.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Sabrina
I really wish I knew what to do for Lucien right now. He’s settled me on a large, thick pile rug in front of the fire, and he’s now pacing back and forth.
He’s my everything, and I wish there was a way for him to believe that I won’t leave him because of his past, which includes a scarred back.
He turns to pace again and I can’t watch him anymore.
“Lucien,” he stops and gives me a startled look, as though he thought he was alone, “if you don’t want me coming over there you need to come and sit with me and blurt it all out. Now.”
I hope that was firm enough.
After a slight hesitation, he moves towards me and sits opposite.
“Thank you…Lucien,” I reach out and touch his knee, “I know this is difficult for you, but I promise you will feel better once you’ve told me and it’s off your chest, not between us anymore.”
Settling back against the large throw cushions that he propped me up with, I watch as he stares into the fire when I ask, “Doesn’t the fire in the hearth bother you?”
“No,” he gives me a wry smile. “It used to. Straight after and for a while, I couldn’t see fire of any kind without having flashbacks. I can’t say I’m over it, otherwise I wouldn’t have such a hard time talking to you about it, but I’ve learned to live with it.”
“Okay. Tell me your story Lucien.”
He continues to gaze into the fire while I watch him. I want to hold him, to wrap my arms around his shoulders, but I stay where I am and wait.
I don’t have to wait long.
“I was driving from my parents’ place when the truck in front of me ran a stop sign, right into the side of a car that had the right of way. The truck pushed the car towards the embankment, and it went over. I pulled off the road, rang emergency services while the bastard responsible climbed from the cab of his truck. I could see he was okay so I made my way to the embankment. I got a strong smell of alcohol as I ran past him. I froze and turned to look at him, and saw the moment he realized I knew. I didn’t stop. I just made my way down to the car that had gone over.
“There was smoke, but no fire when I reached it, and discovered there was a woman and child trapped inside. The woman’s window was already down, so although she was unconscious, I managed to unclip her and drag her to safety.”
He glances at me before continuing, “I had to crawl back into the car to get Samantha because during the rolling of the car her foot had gotten stuck between the seat and the side of the car. It didn’t take me long to get her free. It was as I was trying to get her out of the car that I saw the front of the vehicle ignite.” He rakes his hands through his hair as silent tears track down my face at the anguish I can hear in his voice.
“I knew we had to get out of there fast, so I pushed her through the open window and was pulling myself out when my tee shirt caught fire. Before it lit me up, I managed to get free of the car, and I picked Samantha up and threw her as far as I could. Christ, I threw her away. Every time I shut my eyes for years, I could hear her cries as she landed hard on the ground.”
I can’t stay put any longer. Crawling between his legs, I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tight to him. “You saved her life doing that. You have to know that.”
He eventually nods.
“Let me get this out.”
I move and sit back where I was and wait for him to get his emotions in check to carry on.
“Before,” he hesitates, “I could get my shirt off the whole thing was on fire, the pain, the smell…Unfortunately, I remember everything, until I was shoved to the ground then thankfully I lost consciousness. I was in and out of it for days.” He sighs and finally meets my gaze. “I’m not going to bore you with my treatments, and you know what Alyssa said to me. When I was finally given the all clear to travel, and with Michael’s help, I got to Colorado and Dante. I spent two years out here. First at his cabin as he’d just taken up his appointment at the church he’s still at now, then later here. I fell in love with the mountains, it was like home but I had my own privacy. I owe him everything, Sabrina. He saved me.”
My tears are falling uncontrollably now and I lean into Lucien as he moves to my side and wipes them away with his thumb.
“Samantha and her mom, were they okay?”
“Samantha suffered a broken ankle, her mom a concussion.”
“Sabrina, please don’t cry. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”