While Michael plucks Lily out of her seat to pull her onto his lap, I glance at my watch to check the time so I’m not late to meet Sabrina.
Today we’re going to be seeing our baby for the first time during the ultrasound, and I’m really looking forward to it. The way my heart swelled when Sabrina asked me to go had been embarrassing. I was hoping she would include me in everything to do with our baby, and she seems to want that just as much as me. Now it all falls on me being able to show her just how committed I am to her and our growing child. I sure as hell don’t want to screw it up.
“You fuckin’ with my wife?” Michael asks, scowling.
My eyes widen in surprise before I start laughing. Lily gives me a mischievous look. She’s obviously told Michael about Sabrina and me while I’ve been dreaming about seeing my child later today.
“Ask Ramon if you don’t believe me,” I grin, leaving him speechless.
“We’re both thrilled to bits for you Lucien. It’s about time you started living again,” Lily adds.
She stands up and removes the empty bowls from in front of the twins, who have stayed surprisingly quiet.
“I’m still struggling to get my head around this. You’ve spent years alone. Years telling us that you don’t want or need any complications, and now this. Why? What’s different?”
I knew Michael would want answers, and, although I know Lily can’t stop until she’s satisfied, it was Michael that I knew would really ask me the question I didn’t want to answer because I’m not sure my reasons for staying alone have changed. My fear is still there and if I really stop to think about Sabrina and our child, I know it will send me into a panic.
I know that it would be easier to get everything out in the open and let Sabrina see me without my clothes, but right now I feel like it’s going to take more courage than I have. And while Michael is sitting patiently waiting for me to get my head together, I’m not sure what to say to him that he’ll believe other than the truth, which I can’t do yet. So I opt for part truth and say, “Things change. I’m sick of being alone. I’d rather have her with me than with someone else. We’ll see how it goes.”
I glance at Michael for his reaction and see a smile start to spread across his face. “Does Mom know yet?” He laughs before I can answer. “Of course she doesn’t. We’d have already known if she had.”
I know my mom is going to be beside herself with excitement when she hears about Sabrina and more so when she hears about her growing grandbaby. It has hurt over the years seeing the look on my mom’s face when she’s looked at me. Knowing her heart was broken because of me has added to my list of regrets. I’ve hated knowing how much she was hurting because of me, and now I can’t wait to see the relief on her face, which I know will be there when I tell her how my future is looking, thanks to Sabrina.
“I’m going to take Sabrina round to the parents’ house tomorrow,” I glance at my watch, “but right now, I need to leave before I’m late meeting her.”
Getting up from the chair, I quickly kiss the twins before walking around Michael to hug his wife.
“I’m really happy for you,” she whispers in to my ear.
“Thank you.” I kiss her on the cheek before being grabbed by Michael who gives me a hug before shoving me away with a grin splitting his face.
“Go get your woman, and you better not screw this up.”
“I’m going to try not to.”
Chapter Fifteen
Sabrina
The clock on the wall slowly clicks away, seconds lost and then minutes and I can’t help but watch them slide away. Where is he? Lucien was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago and there was still no sign of him. He promised he would be here so I’m not going to give up on him yet. He’s really happy about becoming a father so I don’t believe for one minute that he would miss this appointment unless he physically couldn’t get here. The thought of which has me biting my lip.
I hope he’s okay.
“Sabrina, are you ready?” Crystal, my doctor’s nurse asks.
I’ve already told them to take the lady who arrived at the same time as I did, because Lucien hadn’t appeared, but now there is only me left. I can’t keep putting them off otherwise they’ll be giving me another appointment. I’ve been so looking forward to seeing my baby today that I don’t want that. With a heavy heart I follow Crystal through to a room with subdued lighting, and the ultrasound machine.