He shakes his head. “Okay, I guess, but I’m sure you’ll be sick of the sight of mine within a month. She’s grandbaby crazy.” He laughs. “But at least you’ll take the pressure away from me. I can’t talk to her these days without her going on at me about marriage and babies.”
Ramon relaxes back into the sofa, putting his feet up on the coffee table and crossing his ankles.
“She just wants to see you as happy as your brothers are…well most of your brothers.”
“I know. I’m not as straightforward as they are,” he tells me looking sad.
I move from the recliner and sit down beside him on the sofa. I hesitate, not sure how to comfort him before thinking ‘to hell with it’ and cuddle into him. He hesitates for all of a minute before I feel his arm come around me. I always feel like I can talk to him about anything without being judged or made to sound ridiculous. But now it’s my turn to be here for him. So I ask, “Why aren’t you getting it on with Sylvia?”
Chuckling, he repeats, “Getting it on? Well that’s one way of putting it, I guess. The truth is I’m not sure what the hell I want. I’m attracted to her, but someone else holds my heart.”
I try to sit up, but he holds me against him.
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I guess you could say I’m floundering. I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t care who the hell knows that I’m gay.”
I smile against him.
“I know you’re gay, but I’ve seen you watching Sylvia. I thought you wanted her. You confuse me.”
“I’d rather not go there, because I confuse myself.”
“So the person who has your heart is a guy?”
“Yeah…Noah. Carla’s missing brother.”
Oh boy!
“Does anyone else in your family know?” I ask, knowing that there is no way his parents know, or at least his mom doesn’t know since she keeps on him about getting married and having children. His father though—I’ve caught him looking at Ramon a few times, deep in thought. I hadn’t really thought anything about it until now.
“My brothers. I’m going to talk to my parents sometime soon. In fact, if Mom keeps on, it will probably be sooner rather than later.”
“You’re parents love you unconditionally, Ramon. They’ll accept you no matter how you choose to live your life. I really envy you the love they offer you. I’ve only really had that from my father. Feeling close to tears again, I snuggle more into him, and add, “My baby will know love from its mother.”
He kisses me on the top of my head while caressing his hand up and down my back. “You are going to be a marvellous mother. All I ask is that you don’t rule Lucien out. He’s going to love being a father. It just might take him a while to get with the program. Just promise me you’ll hang in there with him. He needs you Sabrina, and I have every faith that he’ll realize that eventually. It just might be a bit of a bumpy road until he does.”
Even though the thought of constantly being pushed away and hurt by Lucien frightens me, I know I wouldn’t be able to do anything else so I say, “I promise.”
I feel him smile against my head. “So you’re going to be giving me a niece or nephew… I think Ramon’s a good name.”
I pinch him on the stomach. “It’s a great name. We’ll see.”
“You need to get some sleep.”
“Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”
“I guess it’s a good thing that I’m gay. It will stop you having your wicked way with me.”
Rolling my eyes, even though he can’t see, I swat him on his hip and tell him, “In your dreams.”
Chuckling, he gets up from the sofa with me in his arms and starts heading toward the bedroom.
“If I’m staying then I need a bed. That sofa of yours was made for a midget.”
“That sofa was made for sitting on, not sleeping on.”
He gives me a sleepy smile, and carries me into my room. Placing me on my side of the bed, he helps me to get under the covers before he turns the lights out.
I hear the rustling of his clothes as he takes his jeans and shirt off, and then I feel the bed dip.
“I should have asked first, but are you okay with me sharing your bed?”
“I’m good.”
“Then come over here and let me hold you while you drift off.”
I do as he asks. I really do love him...like a brother.
Chapter Ten
Lucien
Waking to the shrill ringing of my cell after drinking close to a bottle of scotch last night isn’t something I’d recommend. My head feels like a sledgehammer is working away inside. I think the last time I experienced a hangover like this was in college.
Still trying to blindly grab for my cell, I finally have it in my hand and hit one of the keys—stopping the damn noise. But now all I can hear is Sabrina in my head. It takes my brain a few seconds to realize the sound is coming from my cell. I obviously hit answer.
Lifting my cell to my ear, I mumble, “Yeah,” while staying stretched out on my stomach. I feel too damn sensitive to move an inch right now.
“Lucien?”
“Sabrina, are you alright?”
She sounds breathless. She certainly wakes me up anyway.