“Oh boy. I’m sure as hell glad that I’m not my brother right now.” Ruben laughs. “Because you’re going to cause him a lot of sleepless nights.”
“Good,” I smirk.
With one last look around the quiet barn, I let Ruben lead me back to the porch.
I’m not sure whether or not to say anything—apologise even—to his family for running out the way I did. I know everyone must be curious even though they’re hiding it well, and the glares Pippa keeps throwing at Lucien tells me she knows where my heartache lies.
Pippa gives my hand a quick squeeze. “Everything will work its self out. I promise.”
As soon as she lets me go, my hand is engulfed in Ramon’s as he pulls me into his arms. “Are you, okay?” he whispers.
“I’m fine, but wouldn’t mind leaving early. If you don’t mind,” I admit, pulling away from him.
“I have something to do so no problem,” Ramon replies, pulling me down onto his lap. “Have I told you how much I love snuggling with you in my arms.”
“No, but you better not let that get back to Sylvia.” I smile keeping my face averted. I don’t think he realizes how much his feelings are out there in the open whenever Sylvia is around.
He’s the youngest McKenzie and since I’ve been spending time with him over these past few weeks, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s just as troubled as his brother, Lucien, and I have no idea how to help him. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me, but he always changes the subject and tells me there isn’t anything to worry about. I’m not sure I believe him.
Sitting, feeling secure while wrapped in Ramon’s arms, I watch the McKenzies interact with each other. They are all handsome men with wives who are attractive on the inside as much as on the outside. I’ve missed this while I’ve been wallowing in my heartache.
Michael leans down and kisses Lily full on the mouth and before I can check my action, I glance at Lucien to see his reaction. He isn’t looking at Lily and Michael, his attention in completely on Ramon and me—he doesn’t look happy.
“Can I have everyone’s attention,” Michael stands and taps his wine glass with a spoon. “Please.”
Now all our attention is on Michael and Lily, who is watching her husband with so much love on her face.
I’m now watching Lucien without his scorching gaze on me.
“Um, okay. Well, Lily and I thought it was a good time to announce that baby number three is going to be here in about six months time.”
The noise fades into the background as I witness the shock on Lucien’s face before he hides it behind a mask. He stands and hugs both Michael and Lily before excusing himself.
I place my hand protectively over my stomach.
Chapter Eight
Lucien
Walking into my apartment in downtown Lexington, all I can think about is what I’ll never have. Hearing Lily was pregnant with Charlotte and Jr. didn’t affect me anything like today’s announcement. Hearing my brother announce that he’s going to become a father for the third time hurts. Until the words left his mouth, I hadn’t realized just how much I wanted what he has.
Coming from a family who are all close and make time for ‘family’ used to make me want a family of my own, but I buried those feelings the day Alyssa made it clear about how she really felt about someone like me. What she meant, of course, was someone who has a badly scarred body. I’ve never once struck a woman, but I came close while Alyssa was spouting off.
Throwing my jacket off, I turn and kick my boots off in the general direction of the door before walking over to the window with floor to ceiling glass. I spend more time than I care to admit standing here, gazing out at the skyline. It has become a constant habit this past few weeks.
Pouring myself a large scotch, the look on Sabrina’s face appears clear as day in my head. I may have been looking at my brother and Lily when Michael had made their announcement, but I’d caught the distress on Sabrina’s face before I’d gotten out of there. She’d looked hurt beyond belief.
Why do I keep hurting her? I deserve to have her fall for someone else. Someone who can give her all the things I’ll never be able to. I was hurt and angry when Alyssa left, but having Sabrina walk away from me for the same reasons would surely kill me.
Taking a good drink from the glass, I continue watching the skyline as lights begin to glimmer as the sky darkens. The lights are like a million stars below, and I can’t help wondering if one of them is Sabrina’s…or maybe she is with my brother—being comforted by him. The glass in my hand goes flying and smashes to pieces against the wet bar at the thought of her with my brother or any man for that matter. I’m so fucked!
Hearing someone knocking on my door, I ignore it, unable to move. The careful, safe life I’ve worked hard to get is slowly unwinding and I don’t know how the hell to get back not that Sabrina has stepped into it.
“Lucien?”
Bang. Bang.
“Lucien? Open this fuckin’ door before I break it down.”