“No she isn’t,” Ramon interrupts. “Stop acting like you’re five and go and annoy someone else.”
“You’re no fun brother,” Sebastian adds before jumping up from the coffee table when Carla enters the room.
This family has come to mean a lot to me. After my father died and I moved back to the states with my mother, I realized I really didn’t have anyone. My mother is more into having the perfect daughter, which I am not. Especially now. When she hears what I have to tell her, she isn’t going to be happy at all, and even though part of me hopes she will surprise me, I know this might be the thing that sees her saying goodbye to me. She’s never been what I consider a real mom. She’s always made sure I had clothes and food, but anything else, no.
Now Pippa is a real mom, and I love her. She doesn’t have a bad bone in her body, and neither do her sons for that matter. I find them amusing when they tease each other, something they do even more when they are all together. Sebastian seems to be the one who starts it, every time, as though he senses when his brothers, or the mood needs lightening up.
My eyes have a mind of their own today, and I find myself gazing into Lucien’s again. With every look, my heart thuds in my chest—hoping he’s going to change his mind.
It isn’t going to happen but I can dream. After all, that’s what I’ve been doing these past few weeks. Dreaming of Lucien seeing sense and coming after me. Telling me he’s sorry and that he’d rather be with me than apart. In this case, dreams are so much better than reality.
“Sabrina,” Ramon whispers. “You with me?”
I try and shake my thoughts as Ramon gets to his feet, pulling me with him.
“Sorry. I tuned out.”
“I figured.” Ramon grins, and then explains, “Mom wants us all to go and sit outback. She’s planning on taking a family photograph.”
“But—”
“You’re family, Sabrina.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me outside to where his family have started taking seats.
Walking around the table, Ramon stops at the seat beside Lucien and pulls out the chair, navigating me into it. I feel like refusing, but how childish will that look. So I let Ramon seat me and glare at him as he walks to the opposite side. He winks at me, his mouth twisted in a smug grin as he sits facing me. Beside me, I hear Lucien cuss under his breath.
Enough is enough, and I’m starting to get angry. We’re adults and need to get past whatever you’d call what we had together. So taking a deep breath for courage, I try to keep my nerves at bay and turn to look at him. Intending to have my say the words freeze in the back of my throat when I realize he’s already watching me from beneath his heavy eyelids.
Lucien is resting his arms on the table in front of him with his head bent, but his face is turned towards me. My heart jumps in my chest with his closeness and the look—full of need—that he’s giving me. Time stands still as neither of us are willing to break the connection we’ve just formed.
Chapter Six
Lucien
As my brother pulls the chair out for Sabrina, a part of me wants to kiss him and the other wants to punch him. If anyone knows about Sabrina, me and everything going on between us it’s Ramon. And now he’s trying to play matchmaker.
As much as I love my family, sometimes it’s a pain in the ass having siblings because they think they know better. In this case, they probably do because I feel like a fish out of water with Sabrina. I want one thing, but my heads telling me I’ll get my heart broken further down the line if I go after it, or rather her. Holding the gaze of the only woman I’ve ever let close to my heart cuts deeply. The pain I feel in my chest every time I think about her, which is often, is like nothing I’ve felt before. My heart and body keep telling me I’m an idiot for pushing her away and treating her the way I did towards the end, but my head keeps telling me it’s the only move I can make.
Sabrina has no idea how beautiful I think she is, and how I’ll use the slightest excuse just to be near her. She makes me feel so damn confused, as though I don’t know which way is up or down. One thing I do know is that I can’t handle the way she looks at me anymore—as though I’ve broken her heart because that’s impossible. Right?
“Sorry we’re late,” Ruben says bringing me back to the present as he pulls Rosie down onto his lap for the family photograph that Mom is after.
Sabrina greets the latecomers, but my eyes stay on her. I’m afraid if I turn away that she’ll be gone and I’ll be left feeling her loss. The same way I feel after every encounter I have with her. I know I’m confusing her with the mixed signals, probably because I’m so goddamn confused myself. More so when I forget the reason I need to keep her away from me.