Gino shifted his body just enough to draw the attention of both women. “I’m going to get some of Nonny’s strawberry lemonade. Bellisia? Zara? You good with lemonade? Maybe you could help me, Zeke?”
“Of course,” Ezekiel offered immediately. He dropped a kiss on Bellisia’s head as he moved past her.
Bellisia waited until the men had gone into the house before coming all the way onto the porch. She hadn’t dried off because her body required moisture, so much of it that sometimes in the middle of the night she got up, filled a tub with water and immersed herself in liquid.
“I should have trusted your judgment,” Zara conceded. “I know Ezekiel must have realized you were keeping a secret. Was he very upset with you?”
Bellisia shrugged and waved that away. “I feel like I drove you right to Gino because of the way I acted. Why were you able to trust him so fast? To trust his decisions?”
Zara could hear the hurt in her voice. Bellisia looked near tears, and she’d always been the strongest one of the three of them.
“I’ve been your sister since we were a year or so old,” Bellisia continued. “It was always Shylah, you and me. All those years together, depending on one another, and yet you went to Gino instead of Ezekiel. I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know what I expected when we talked,” Zara said. “I wasn’t being fair to you, I guess. You were saying things I didn’t want to hear, things you had no way of knowing would hurt me. I realized your loyalty wasn’t just to me anymore, it was to Ezekiel first, and that made me feel very alone. You had your husband, and I was alone. Not just alone, the one person I had come to depend on, Gino, you were trying to pull out from under me. I know you were trying to protect me, Bellisia, but at the time, I was feeling raw and hurt. Things haven’t been good for me since you’ve been gone. Whitney retaliated against Shylah and me both. He thought we knew what you planned.”
“I’m sorry.” Bellisia leaned against the railing, staying out of the sun so the water wouldn’t dry too fast on her skin.
“Don’t be. None of this is your fault. You’re supposed to trust your husband and put him first. I understand that now, and I should have taken the time to understand that then. I was being childish not wanting to trust him just because I was jealous that he had you and I no longer did. I just needed you so much right then and thought it was going to be the same. You. Me. Apart from everyone else.”
“Why Gino?”
“Tell me why you don’t like him.”
Bellisia opened her mouth to deny that claim but then closed it and frowned instead, thinking it over. “It isn’t that I don’t like him, Zara. I don’t know him. No one really knows him. I’ve seen men like him though. He’s more at home in the woods or the swamp than in a house, although, I suspect he’d be at home hunting in a city. Anywhere he chooses could be a hunting ground.”
Zara couldn’t fault her for thinking that. She thought it herself. She needed the hunter, the predator in him. She was drawn to that part of him.
“He likes being alone and as far as I can see, the only ones he really spends time with are Trap, Wyatt, Draden and Joe. Even then, he looks out for them.”
“And Nonny, Pepper, Cayenne, the children and you, Bellisia.” Zara didn’t think that was a fault at all. If anything, she admired Gino for it and she trusted and relied on him because of those traits. “I think all the GhostWalkers, including your husband, have that same trait.”
Bellisia nodded reluctantly. “Yes,” she conceded. “I think that’s a fair assessment.”
“That still doesn’t say why you don’t like him.”
Bellisia sighed and went to Zara’s side, lowering her voice so she was practically whispering in Zara’s ear. “I don’t know if I should tell you this. I’ve already screwed up big-time by trying to warn you off him.”
“I want to know. I’m asking you.”
“Joe Spagnola is the man leading this team. They all look up to him and respect him. He’s kind and compassionate. A good man, Zara. His father is Ciro Spagnola, a rather infamous crime boss. Ciro and Gino’s father, Jacopo, were close friends growing up. They served in the military together. When Gino’s family was murdered, it was Joe who found them. They saved Gino’s life when they took him in. Gino was raised by Ciro.”
“Gino told me Joe was like a brother to him. I knew they’d been raised together,” Zara acknowledged.
“Joe should have been Jacopo’s son and Gino, Ciro’s,” Bellisia said. “Gino was raised as an enforcer for Ciro. Do you understand what I’m saying? Joe turned his back on that life, but Gino embraced it. He’s done things that aren’t good.” She hesitated again. “An enforcer tortures and kills people, Zara.” She kept her voice very low. “He did that for Ciro. For all I know he’s done that for the military, and we both know if you can do that and sleep at night …”
“He couldn’t have been very old when he joined the military,” Zara pointed out.
She wanted to be more shocked and appalled than she was. Gino was quiet. Watchful. There was something ice-cold and dangerous in his eyes, and he could turn off emotion. She’d seen him do it. He was also the most protective man she’d ever met and she could imagine Ciro drilling it into him as a boy that he had to watch over Joe. Gino had lost his entire family. It stood to reason that he would do whatever Ciro deemed necessary to protect those remaining that he loved.
Gino had told her more than once that he wasn’t a good man. He never lied to her, in fact everything Bellisia was telling her matched up with what Gino had implied. He had confessed that Zhu and he were the same in many ways, that he’d done similar things when needed. She was grateful he’d told her, so she wasn’t shocked when she heard it from Bellisia.
“I know. He followed Joe. But the fact remains, he’s capable of doing things most men aren’t capable of. You were tortured, Zara. He’s capable of that.”
“He would never torture a woman, Bellisia,” Zara said with complete confidence.
“Maybe not, but I’m telling you, honey, it isn’t natural to be able to do some of the things he’s done, both for Ciro and for the military.”
“Are you saying none of the other men would extract information from a prisoner if it was needed to save others in their unit?”
Bellisia was silent for a moment, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know the answer to that, okay, maybe. Yes. But the difference is, he wouldn’t have a problem with it. He scares me for you.”
“You think he would hurt me, but I’m telling you, he isn’t capable of hurting a woman. If she was an enemy, he might shoot her, but he wouldn’t torture her. He wouldn’t hit me, or abuse me. I know that with everything in me.”
“He’s old-fashioned with women, and that isn’t going to change. I want someone different for you. Someone who allows you the freedom you need.”
Zara rubbed the hem of the shirt she was wearing. Gino’s shirt. It gave her the necessary courage to confess. It was a huge confession and she knew Bellisia would not only be hurt, but possibly angry, and she deserved it.
“About that, Bellisia, the truth is, Gino does give me freedom. He gives me exactly what I need to feel free and whole and safe. I have something I need to tell you and I’m going to warn you up front, you aren’t going to like it. In fact, you’re going to feel betrayed and I never meant it that way. I love you and Shylah. Both of you. I didn’t have anything to contribute to us like the two of you. You both covered me on our missions, when Whitney would send us out. You know you did, no matter how much you want to protest. I wasn’t made for being a soldier. I can fight, but I lack the killer instinct. It made me sick, and both of you covered for me.”
“Honey. We love you. You held your own when it was needed.”