“Being able to take back hope to my sisters. I realized what a family was. I watched some of the kids, and they were far older than me, get visitors—parents, siblings, grandparents—the people we never had in our lives. I wanted that for my sisters and I wanted it for me. I would watch television in my room, all the cooking shows and anything that portrayed families. The books I devoured were all about families. I read about them and saw them on television and then would tell the others.”
“How many children do you want?”
She tipped her head up and looked to the sky. Clouds drifted across the wide expanse of blue, but there was very few of them, small wisps that made her think of lazy days. She’d never had that—a lazy day. They weren’t allowed such a thing in Whitney’s compound. Sitting on the porch or being with Gino at a swimming hole, with a picnic lunch, was a luxury.
“I don’t know how many, Gino.” She was honest. “I read books on parenting because, obviously, I wanted to know what I was doing, and I don’t have a good example to follow …” She broke off and pressed her hand over her womb. Rubbed gently. “Can you imagine feeling a baby, a life , kicking inside of you?”
He gave her a small grin. It lit his eyes, giving them a glint of humor through all that unrelenting black. “Not really. But I’d like to feel my child kicking inside of you. I thought three or four, but I know that’s considered a lot these days. Most people opt for one or two because it’s easier to support them and they say the planet is exploding with population.”
“Does that mean we’re supposed to only have one to two?”
“We can do anything we damn well please, princess. You want a dozen, I’ll fucking give you a dozen. We’ve got money enough. I can give you anything you want.”
“What about what you want?” She kept her gaze steady on his.
“I never wanted much of anything until you came along. I guess I’m going to have to reevaluate what my wants are. You. But I consider you a need, not a want.”
She laughed softly. “You’re so crazy. You don’t need me. You have all this. This wonderful place. And you have freedom.” Her smile faded and she fought the sudden lump in her throat. “I don’t have that yet, not all the way. Any minute I expect someone to come and take me away from here.”
“I want you to stop worrying about that, Zara. Let me worry. We need to get the information out of your head. The sooner you tell Bellisia she can talk to Zeke, and get her to give you the okay to talk to Trap and Wyatt, then we can all put our heads together and solve this problem. Trap is hell on wheels with this kind of thing because he thinks outside the box. Wyatt as well. We’ll get the information out and Whitney will lose interest.”
She thought it was interesting that he stated she shouldn’t worry and clearly expected that she wouldn’t just because he said so. He was used to people doing what he ordered, or maybe it was because he always followed through and made certain there was nothing to worry about. Whatever the reason, she felt the now-familiar flutter in the region of her heart. He made her feel cared for. Loved even. But Whitney wasn’t the only one they had to worry about.
“Zhu won’t lose interest.” She tilted her head, challenging him. “You know he won’t.”
“I’ve got eyes on him. When he makes his move, we’ll get him. The boys and I have been talking over a game plan.”
“You didn’t tell me that.” Her stomach tightened into hard knots. “That means you think for certain he’ll come.” It was one thing for her to be so certain, but an altogether different one for him to be. She thought she’d gotten over terror, but it had been waiting, it was right there, pouncing before she could control it. Zhu. The monster. He was in every nightmare. Gino holding her close to him helped, but sometimes she woke, her heart pounding and fear drying out her mouth.
“He’ll come.” Gino shrugged. “Let him.” He crouched down in front of her again and took her hand, his thumb sliding over her knuckles. “Look at me, Zara.”
He waited until her eyes met his, and she didn’t like that she had no choice. She was compelled to look at him and if she didn’t, he’d wait forever because he had the patience of a hunter. She swallowed hard at what she saw there.
“You’ve forgotten what I am, baby, and I’m okay with you forgetting once we remove the threats to you, but not now. Zhu hasn’t done anything I haven’t done. I can guarantee you, my training started long before his, and he isn’t enhanced. I am. Even if it was an even playing field, Zara, you’re mine and that means I have an edge because I’m not willing to give you up. And that fucker is going to pay for what he did to you.”
She took a breath and released it, knowing she should have conveyed everything to him when she first was telling him about Zhu, but she’d been so frightened in those earlier days that small details, no matter how important, tended to escape her. “When I first arrived, I was taken to Cheng’s office. He had tea brought in for us. Zhu poured the tea and I watched very closely because I was afraid they were going to drug the tea. They had me sit in a certain chair and I had the feeling they could monitor my heart and respiratory rate.”
“It would be easy enough.”
She nodded. His thumb continued to slide over her knuckles and there was something in that simple gesture that gave her confidence. “He poured Cheng’s tea first and then mine. He didn’t put anything in the tea, but I saw his finger slide around the lip of the teacup and I knew immediately he’d put some kind of drug on it. I had a couple of choices, but decided to go ahead and drink the tea. I was careful to use the same spot every single time when I sipped it.”
“So, you ingested the drug.”
She nodded. “It was definitely a truth serum, but one that acted differently than the conventional truth serums. They’ve been researching obviously. But it was more than that. I got around the need to answer their questions by doing math problems and coding in my head.”
“What was the more, Zara?”
He knew her so well now. They’d spent so much time together, and he could read her. He knew she was reluctant to tell him. “You know how Whitney was pairing couples? He wanted to get certain traits together so he paired us with one another? Well, I think Cheng’s people were working on something similar, or it was a by-product of the truth serum. It wasn’t exactly the same as Whitney’s because I knew immediately that something was wrong. I was attracted physically to Zhu.”
She tried to look away from Gino, ashamed that even for one moment, chemically induced or not, she’d been attracted to such a horrible human being, but Gino wouldn’t let her.
“Princess, just tell me, don’t let yourself go back there. They did that to you. They did all of this to you. Cheng. Zhu. Whitney. You aren’t responsible for any of it. You’re in a good place right now, don’t let them take it away from you.”
“I got over the attraction fairly quickly. I don’t know if doing the math in my head helped, or my fear, or what, but he didn’t get over it. He was attracted. It didn’t stop him from hurting me, in fact he made it clear that he would continue to hurt me, so I don’t think the physical attraction mattered that much to him. Maybe he’s attracted to tons of women …”
Gino shook his head. “We’ve had a couple of our best people finding out what they could about him. Flame, Wyatt’s sister-in-law, and Jaimie, the wife of another GhostWalker, are both very good at ferreting out things people don’t want brought into the light. The clubs Zhu frequents when he goes to other countries are not for the nice or faint of heart. They aren’t simple bondage clubs, they’re clubs where men and women can inflict a lot of pain on others for their own sexual gratification. That’s a lot different than tying up a partner for fun and sexual pleasure. Zhu gets off on causing pain. You’re perfect for him in a lot of ways.”