It wasn’t. It was getting harder to ignore my nerves. It was just past 8 p.m., and the journey back to Brighton would take close to three hours. Suzanne was showing no signs of intending to leave, and neither was anyone else. Worse, my phone battery was getting dangerously low.
‘Hey,’ I said to Suzanne, dropping my voice so her friends wouldn’t hear. ‘Um . . . are we going to head off soon?’
‘It’s way too early to leave,’ she said, her tone dismissive. She leaned forward, away from me. ‘Hey, Toby, can you spare a cigarette?’
‘Suze –’ I touched her arm, waiting for her to look back at me – ‘seriously. If we’re not going to leave now, then when?’
Toby glanced at me, a packet of cigarettes in his fingers, then looked back at Suzanne, who held out her hand. ‘Are you causing trouble?’
‘Me?’ Suzanne responded, half innocence, half mischief. Toby let out a short laugh, then handed her a cigarette. There was a moment of silence while she lit it before she turned to me. ‘Hey –’ her voice was suddenly upbeat, but a little too casual – ‘you know, we could just stay the night here.’
I blinked at her. ‘What?’
‘Instead of going back to Brighton,’ Suzanne said. She was smiling her fullest, most engaging smile. ‘Why not just stay? My parents won’t be back until tomorrow evening, and we’ll be long gone by then.’
‘My parents are expecting me home tonight,’ I said slowly.
‘So? Tell them you’re staying out with me.’
‘I can’t.’ I didn’t even want to think about how my mother would react if she found out I’d upped and left Brighton for the night without even telling her. ‘It’ll make it worse if I say I’m with you.’
‘God, Caddy.’ She rolled her eyes, looking wearily amused in a way that made me want to pour the contents of the Coke bottle into her lap. ‘So what? Stay out, go home tomorrow. So they’ll get mad – so what? Who cares?’
‘I care,’ I said. ‘I’m the one who’ll have to deal with it.’
‘Deal with what? Them being “disappointed” in you?’ She raised her fingers into sarcastic scare quotes. ‘How terrifying.’
I bit my tongue. ‘Don’t be—’
‘It’s not like they’ll stop loving you,’ Suzanne interrupted, ‘just for staying out one night without telling them. What are you so scared of?’ She reached out and poked my shoulder. ‘Come on, Cads. Nothing significant will ever happen unless you get out of your comfort zone every now and then.’
I caught her eye and looked at her levelly, waiting for the expression on her face to falter. Eventually it did. ‘Did you do this on purpose?’ I asked. The question was unnecessary. She had clearly done this on purpose.
She at least had the grace to look sheepish. ‘Maybe a little?’ Seeing my face, she added quickly, ‘I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t come, and I wanted you to come. Oh, please don’t be mad. It’ll be fun.’ Her eyes were full of sparks and mischief. ‘Don’t be mad. Are you mad?’
Was there any point in being mad? Had I really thought we’d go to Reading and back again in a day?
‘Why did you bring me?’ I asked. ‘Why would you even want me here so much?’
Her forehead crinkled, the corner of her mouth quirking into a smile. ‘Is that a serious question? Because you’re my best friend and I love you? Because I have fun with you? Because I wanted you to meet my friends? And because you’re a good influence. I’m much better with you.’ She made a face. ‘In a non-rom-com kind of way.’
‘You’re a bad influence on me,’ I replied, but I was smiling despite myself.
She looked startled. ‘Am I?’
‘Uh, yeah? Didn’t you notice?’
‘I’m not a bad influence, I’m a fun influence,’ Suzanne said confidently, but her expression was still a little troubled.
‘Maybe we balance each other out,’ I suggested, reaching for the Coke bottle. ‘I’m good, you’re fun. Or something.’
‘Ooh, yes. That’s good. What’s Rosie though?’
‘The spirit level,’ I said. I’d meant to joke, but the image was so unexpectedly accurate I laughed. ‘She is definitely the spirit level.’
‘What’s a spirit level?’
‘The thing you use to check shelves are straight,’ I said, still laughing. The vodka was clearly starting to work its magic.
She looked baffled, which only made me laugh harder. ‘God,’ I said, trying to calm myself down. I reached for my phone. ‘Right. OK, so I’m staying here tonight. Shit, my battery’s almost out.’
‘That’s good,’ Suzanne said. ‘No fallout till tomorrow. This is a great opportunity for you to learn to live in the moment.’
‘Seize the day,’ I said, flexing my fingers over my phone and trying to decide who to text first. ‘Carpe diem.’
Battery: 5%
20.14: T, I’m going to crash at Rosie’s tonight. Will you tell Mum? Be back tomoz x
20.17: ? Why not come home? Have you got stuff with you?
4%
20.18: Roz has pjs. Battery’s about to die. See you!
3%
20.19: If anyone asks, I’m staying at yours tonight.
20.23: No you’re not.
20.24: ??? Wtf Roz?
2%
20.28: Is the fuck up catching up with you?
20.29: ROZ seriously my batterys dying. Are you kidding?
20.36: Nope. Have a good night.