‘Nope, you can have mine.’ She passed me the strip of card. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve totally thought this through.’ She grinned at me again, and despite myself I laughed. ‘You go through first,’ she said. ‘Then hand the ticket back to me, but make sure no one sees. I’ll see you on the train. Platform Five.’
Bemused, I followed her instructions, certain such a cheap trick would never work. I was pretty sure the ticket barriers were sophisticated enough to recognize a ticket used twice in five seconds. I glanced behind me as I walked towards the train, and sure enough, the barrier beeped. Suzanne pulled the ticket back, an exaggerated expression of confusion on her face.
‘Damn,’ she said, not bothering to lower her voice. She waved a hand at the member of staff nearest to her, a man somewhere in his thirties. Out of range, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I saw the amused smile on the man’s face, the grin on Suzanne’s, before he shook his head ruefully and waved her through the gate. She came jogging up to me, triumphant. ‘I said get on the train, not stand there admiring it.’
‘How did you do that?’
‘A little charm, a lot of style,’ she replied, then laughed, giddy and happy. She handed the ticket back to me. ‘Come on.’
We sat down just as the train began to move away from the station. Suzanne sat back in her seat, lifting her feet up to rest on the chair opposite. I did the same, nudging her thigh with my left foot. She grinned at me as my phone buzzed and I glanced down to see a text from Rosie. ‘You didn’t go with her, did you?’
‘So where are we going?’ I asked. I hadn’t bothered looking at the departures board, or even the ticket she’d given me. ‘It better be good.’
‘The best,’ she replied.
I waited. ‘So? Where?’ At this point I was still thinking Lewes or Eastbourne or somewhere within the same county. I glanced casually at the ticket and my heart lurched. ‘Cardiff?’
‘Nope, Reading,’ she said. She rested her head contentedly against the back of her seat. ‘We’re going to Reading.’
11.21: Yep, I’m with her right now!
11.28: You’re an idiot.
11.32: I’m having an adventure :)
11.35: No you’re not, you’re tagging along on someone else’s fuck up.
I didn’t know what to think. Reading wasn’t as far from Brighton as Cardiff, and it could conceivably be a day trip, but I was still starting to regret going along with Suzanne quite so merrily. Especially when the ‘stupid’ part of her original suggestion became clear.
‘I’m meant to be going to Brian’s,’ she said. ‘Sarah’s packed me off there because she thinks he’s the only one who can get through to me or something. But I realized I don’t really want to go to Cardiff. And Reading’s, like, right there on the same journey. It’s basically halfway. So why not?’
There seemed to be quite a few reasons why not, just off the top of my head. But I couldn’t face hearing her responses to any of them, so I said, ‘Why am I here then?’
She looked surprised. ‘For company, of course. And it’ll be cool to show you Reading. I’d hoped Roz would come too, but whatever. She can just have a boring weekend by herself.’
‘Weekend?’ I repeated, a shot of anxiety piercing my chest. My exact words to my mother on leaving my house had been, ‘Just going out for a bit.’ A bit. Oh God.
‘I mean, day,’ Suzanne amended quickly. ‘A boring day.’
I looked at her. She smiled, all innocence.
11.37: God, relax! What’s wrong with you?
11.39: YOU. I want my best friend back. Tell Suzanne you’re on loan and I want you back in one piece.
11.51: Yeah, I’m really gonna tell her that. Chill out, will you? Hey, remember who wanted us all to be friends in the first place?
11.55: That was before.
11.57: Before what?
11.59: Before it actually happened.
At some point on that train journey I made the conscious decision to relax. It was too late to turn back now, I still had several hours before anyone would begin to wonder where I was and, most importantly, this could actually be fun. Suzanne was at her most lovable, all bounce and humour, trying to teach me ‘The Clapping Song’ with bright eyes and quick hands.
‘What’s happening with you and Tariq?’ she asked me.
‘Nothing,’ I said.
She looked as disappointed as if she was the one who’d been rejected. ‘Really? How come?’
‘He said he’d add me on Facebook, and then he didn’t.’
For a second she just looked at me, then started to laugh. ‘Caddy, you know you can add him, right?’
I shrugged. ‘I’m not that bothered.’
‘Oh, go on,’ Suzanne urged, tapping her Vans against my shin. ‘He’s really sweet. Will you just add him and see what happens? Please?’
I hesitated, looking at her open, clueless, unfairly beautiful face. She’d never understand. How could she?
‘What is it?’ she asked, her smile fading a little. ‘He didn’t upset you, did he? If he did, tell me so I can kill him.’
I couldn’t help smiling. ‘No, of course not. I haven’t even spoken to him since Levina’s party. It’s just . . . I don’t want to start something I’m not sure about.’