Eddie made a sound, and I glanced up. His eyes were closed, his jaw locked. I surged my hips up, our bodies grinding together. He shouted and his body began to convulse, and deep inside me, I felt him pulse.
After we both came down off the high, he exhaled and collapsed. Wrapping his arms around me, Eddie rolled so I wasn’t pinned beneath him. Instead, I lay draped over his chest, our legs so tangled together I wasn’t sure what was his and what was mine. It didn’t matter really. Everything I was now belonged to him.
His palm covered the entire side of my head. He stroked my hair and pressed his lips to the center of my forehead. “Are you okay?”
I giggled. “I’m perfect.”
“Was that a laugh?” he asked. I could actually hear the way he raised just a single eyebrow when he spoke.
Against his chest, I smiled. “Maybe.”
“Are you laughing at my skills in the bedroom?” He poked me in the ribs, and another giggle came out.
“No!” I laughed as he started to tickle me full on. “Stop!” I gasped, wiggling so much I fell off his chest.
He rolled, pinning me beneath him. His eyes were warm when they settled on my face. “So if you aren’t mocking my performance….”
I rolled my eyes. “Your performance was pretty damn good and you know it.”
He made a surprised face. “Did you just curse? Did my freckled little angel just say a dirty word?”
I gasped, feigning a shocked voice. “What have you done to me? I’m corrupted.”
Eddie swooped in and kissed me, laughing as his lips brushed mine. My heart nearly burst with fullness, and there was a pang of something else as all this happiness surrounded me.
Guilt.
He felt the change come over me. Of course he did. We were becoming very in tune with each other, and what we just shared only bonded us further.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, drawing back.
“Nothing.” I shook my head.
“Amnesia, tell me.”
I sighed. “I’ve never felt like this before. So happy… so carefree.”
“And that’s a problem?” he asked, trying to follow.
I smiled, brushing my fingertips over his cheekbone. He smiled, his dimple appearing. “No. It’s just… I feel kind of guilty.”
“Guilty?” he asked, frowning.
I nodded, trying to understand. “Like maybe I shouldn’t be happy. It feels sort of wrong, like happiness doesn’t belong to me.”
I heard him swallow and watched a curl fall into his eyes when he shifted, caging my body beneath his to gaze down. “If there is anyone in this entire world that deserves happiness, it’s you. That much I am absolutely sure of.”
“I want it. But sometimes…” My voice faded.
He brushed over my jaw with the pads of his fingers. “What?”
“Sometimes it feels like being happy now will only make things harder later.”
“Why would things be harder later, sweetheart?” He kissed the top of my shoulder.
“Because they’re going to keep coming for me. And when they do, this happiness, you, will be ripped away, and I won’t have anything left.”
“No one is going to take me away from you.” I swore, staring at her intently until her eyes, which had turned worried, finally rose to meet mine.
With her stare still on me, she whispered, “They’ll take me.”
My stomach plummeted, the “afterglow” from making love to her dimming.
“And we’ll be apart. Again.” She finished.
The fear in her eyes was unmistakable. It made me sick and angry at the same time at how fast she crashed from bliss to anxiety.
“I won’t let that happen,” I told her, gut tight. “Not again.”
I went from believing Amnesia was Sadie to being convinced she wasn’t, and now… now I was stuck somewhere in the middle. There were too many things that pointed to her being my long-lost best friend, but also things that pointed to her not being the girl I lost.
Amnesia smiled softly, almost sadly, and raked her fingers through my hair. “I love you.”
Breathing became impossible for long moments. Everything in the universe stopped, maybe—probably even my heart. I hadn’t wanted her to say those three words. I’d been afraid they would be too easy for her to take back.
She couldn’t have them back. Not ever.
I had to remind myself how to breathe, and the first breath I took after those words sounded more like a gasp.
“It’s so easy to love you.” She confided, still pulling her hands through my hair. “I never thought it could be so simple for someone to get in here.” She pointed to her chest.
I kissed her. Just like that, we slipped back into the cocoon we’d been in before. My chest felt tight, so unbelievably full. I pulled away, dropping my forehead so it rested against hers. “Cross my heart,”
“Hope to die,” she added.
“You will be forever mine.”
She spoke softly. “Did you used to say that to Sadie?”
I nodded. “All the time. Except the forever mine part. That part is yours.”
“Forever is a long time,” she said.
“Not long enough.”
“Maybe I was wrong,” Amnesia said, wiggling a little beneath me. I sat up, so she could lean against the headboard. “Maybe the happiness and the memories I asked for will only make it harder when the truth comes back, when the memories resurface. Maybe it will make me realize what I lost.”
“You aren’t lost,” I told her, firm. “You’re found.”
“They’re coming back for me. You know it. Everywhere I go, the killer shows up.”
I shook my head adamantly. My inner lion paced inside me. The need to protect what was mine was stronger than I ever felt before. It was almost blinding, and I reminded myself I couldn’t allow this urge to make me stupid. Now more than ever I had to be smart. “I swear to God, Am, I will murder them before anyone gets the chance to harm you.”
Her head tilted to the side, a thoughtful glint coming into her chocolatey eyes. “There’s something else,”
“Tell me,” I demanded. I needed to know exactly what I was working against.
“I’d been so sure the person stalking me wanted me dead, but this last time, the other night in the hospital, it was different.”
“Different how?”
“They pulled this rag out of their cape thingy. It smelled so strongly of chloroform it nearly made me gag.”
“Yeah, I remember the odd scent in the room.” I realized. “They hadn’t done that before?”
She shook her head. “No. Up until then, it was more violent, almost urgent. The strangling, luring me into the woods, even in my nightmare from the night I nearly drowned. It felt like physical harm was imminent. But the other night…”
My brow furrowed. Trying to come up with an insane person’s motive wasn’t easy. “Maybe they planned to knock you out then kill you. Make less noise?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I think they wanted to take me.”
My eyes widened, and alarm coursed through me. “Kidnap you?”
She nodded. “But why?”
I grabbed her wrist, giving it a gentle tug. “Am, did you tell the police that night when they came to the hospital?”
“Of course.”
“And?” I demanded.
“And they said usually, chloroform is used for kidnapping.”