“Why didn’t you say anything, baby?” I murmured, brushing the hair from her face. I couldn’t be mad at her, not when she looked so vulnerable.
“I’ve been so confused, Eddie. I’d been so sure they were trying to kill me. And now I’m not. No one is still convinced that first attack wasn’t a dream. I can’t even identify them. I don’t even know if it was a man or woman!”
“Okay.” I soothed her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into the circle of my body. She was shaking. “It’s all right.”
“I didn’t want to think about it. I still don’t. But I can’t stop now. The more days that pass, the more hunted I feel… I have so much more to lose now.” She lifted her head, looking into my eyes. “So much more to protect.”
“You leave the protecting to me,” I said, tenacious.
“I can’t shake the feeling that maybe they don’t just want to kill me. Maybe they want something more.”
The sick thoughts parading around in my mind made me nauseous. Amnesia might not have a memory, but she had natural instinct, and there was no doubt at least partially that instinct had kept her alive. If she felt the person had been there to kidnap her the other night, I believed her.
It also opened up a whole new frightening realm of possibility.
What if this was Sadie right here in my arms? That meant she had to have spent the last eleven years somewhere, with someone.
What if that someone wanted her back?
I was a light sleeper. It didn’t take much to wake me or disturb my slumber. I wasn’t sure if that was just a personality trait, something learned in the past, or my mind’s way of always being alert for when my attacker/kidnapper/killer came back.
Geez. My life was beginning to resemble the people we watched on those crazy reality television shows.
When a very faint knock rapped against the glass of the French doors my eyes popped open instantly. Fear didn’t even flicker into my mind; my body was already humming. With a sleepy smile, I slid from beneath the quilt and raced across the room.
Eddie ducked inside the second I unlocked the door.
“It’s freezing!” I exclaimed and leapt at him.
“Whoa.” He chuckled low. I liked his voice in the morning. It was always raspier than normal. It gave me tingles over my entire body. The good kind.
Somehow, he caught me, lifting me so my legs could wrap around his waist, without spilling the tall paper cup in his hand. “You’re gonna end up wearing this if you aren’t careful.” His voice was far from scolding. He liked when I climbed all over him, which was something I’d been doing a lot more.
I peppered his face with kisses, and he chuckled some more, holding me tight with his arm. Carrying me over toward the bed, he set down the cup, which I knew had hot chocolate in it, and climbed into the bed with me still in his arms.
“I missed you last night,” he said, mouth crashing over mine.
I sighed into his mouth and returned the kiss with just as much need. My insides vibrated and my stomach fluttered wildly. His skin was cooler than I was used to, and I knew it was because it was cold outside this morning. Leaning up, I grabbed the covers and pulled them over us. The bed was still warm from when I’d be sleeping.
Eddie’s hand delved below the hem of the T-shirt I slept in, his palm gliding over my stomach. I tugged his shirt until he broke the kiss and let me yank it over his head. Surging up, I kissed his chest and shoulder. His palm cupped the back of my head and held me to him.
“I swear I didn’t come over here for this.” He groaned, kissing me again. “But I want you so fucking bad.”
I unhooked the button on his jeans, sliding down the zipper. My hand brushed over his stiff length, and he groaned. “I want you, too,” I whispered.
After that, we were in a frenzy to remove all the barriers between us, and he joined his body with mine. I started to moan, but he caught the sound with his mouth and began pumping his hips. My nails scraped over his back as the familiar feel of an orgasm built within me.
Eddie pushed up on his palms, his body hovering over mine. Our eyes collided, his cock surging deep. “I love you,” he rasped.
My heart turned over, and I reached for him, pulling him back down so our bodies were pressed together. I felt his lips brush over my neck, and I arched up.
My climax rolled over me, and my body went limp against the sheets. Wave after wave of pleasure stole all thought from my head. The only thing that brought me back was the soft sound he made into the pillow beside my ear as he exploded.
After we both came down off the high, I snuggled into his chest to listen to the sound of his heart galloping under his ribs.
“Maybe it’s better that we haven’t been sleeping over at night because I don’t think we’d ever get any sleep,” he murmured, palming my bare hip then my bare ass.
“I miss you, though.” I sighed.
“Yeah, me, too. Not sure I can keep it up any longer.” The serious tone made me look up. His fingertip trailed down the bridge of my nose, and he smiled. “I want you beside me all night.”
It had been about a week since we first made love. I’d only technically known him for not quite two months since I’d first opened my eyes, but it honestly felt like longer. Maybe because I was Sadie, and Eddie and I had a history that went far beyond a few months’ time. I didn’t really care about the reason. I didn’t need a reason to be so in love with him. I just was. My heart knew what it wanted, and I didn’t want to deny it. Life was too short, life was hard, and though I remembered barely anything, I knew I’d seen a lot of bad in my time. I was going to grasp the good, especially since I still felt it was fleeting.
We didn’t talk much about that fear of mine, though it was always there between us. Sometimes we acknowledged it in a passing look or the way our hands clung to each other’s before we said good-bye for the night.
Eddie was giving me exactly what I asked for, exactly everything I could ever want.
Happiness. Memories drenched in smiles. Kisses. Hugs. Hot chocolate with whipped cream, popcorn at the movies, and pancakes for breakfast at Maple’s. We even carved that giant pumpkin.
I could stay like this forever; I didn’t want anything more. Except, yeah, maybe to sleep in his arms every single night.
We’d been holding off on that. Maybe it was our way of not moving too fast.
Okay, fine. It was ridiculous. Ridiculous seemed to work for us. It sure as hell made me happy.
But Eddie wanted to “date” me. To pick me up and drop me off, to show up in the morning with hot chocolate before he had to work, and to kiss me good night at my door before I went to bed.
I loved it—the anticipation of him. Of having my world revolve around him, but not just him. I was building a life outside of him, too. Maggie and I were close. We spent a lot of time together, cooking in the kitchen, watching TV, and laughing. I wasn’t ready to give up my time with her to move in with Eddie. She’d become important to me.
“Did you really mean it about me having a job at Loch Gen?” I asked.