Sure enough, the Habitrail From Hell started rocking back and forth, as if it was trying to break free from its moorings. Only the black water was clearly coming along with us, because of course it was. Along with whatever was in that water. And if sunlight hit it, I might be able to see what was in there. Resolved to get the hell out of here before that happened.
Managed to grab SuperBun before he slid away, shove him into my purse with Peter, and hold onto said purse as if it was Charlie, with the full duck and cover going. Because the Habitrail From Hell was really rocking, and the thing about tubes is that when they turn on their sides, what’s inside of them goes tumbling.
CHAPTER 38
NEVER IN MY LIFE had I missed being in jeans, a t-shirt, and my Converse more than at this exact time. My sensible pumps were not great for helping me to brace myself, and neither was my nice outfit. The body armor should have made this a nonissue, but either it was slick to the touch or it bound so well to the fabrics it was on that it imitated them in all ways, because I had no traction whatsoever.
Tried shoving my butt against a surface while bracing with my feet. In jeans and Converse, that could have worked. In body armor that was determined to match the nice, soft fabric and pumps with slick bottoms I had on? I went sliding down like this was the biggest water park in the galaxy.
Tim was right—we needed to talk to Drax about his designs. If, you know, any of us survived this in order to do so.
Wasn’t sure if I should be happy about the fact that the tubing lurched hard in the other direction right before I slid into a whole clutch of the pygmy elephants or not. On the one hand, the elephants probably would have broken my fall. On the other hand, they were now tumbling down, too. And they were above me.
We were all headed for a group of tiny, panicking horses. This promised to be the worst possible potential Kitty Sandwich in the history of the universe. And it wasn’t going to do the bunnies any good, either.
My music changed again. I’d frankly expected Algar to be funny and play Culture Club’s “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya,” but instead what I got was Billy Idol’s “Catch My Fall.” Miraculously, I got this clue, and gave myself the “duh” at the same time. “Poofies, Kitty needs a save!”
Poofikins and Harlie flew out of my purse, going large. Poofikins was between me and the horses, Harlie between me and the elephants.
Just before we all slammed into each other, the tube leveled out. And, lucky me, sunlight hit the water. Due to how I’d tumbled around, I was looking at the big ball of water I’d been next to not so long ago, so I got a nice, clear view of what was inside.
Managed not to scream, but it took all the effort I could muster. Because what was in that water was snakes. And not just any snakes. Gigantic ones, with oscillating fins running down their backs from the back of their heads to the tips of their tails. Giant faces with horrific fangs, slit eyes that glared at everything with malevolence, and jaws that unhinged or something because they opened 180 degrees. And all that was inside those jaws were more fangs. And they were all roiling around each other and slamming themselves against the Habitrail walls, some with their jaws opened fully, some not.
Sea serpents, SuperBun corrected. They were giant sea serpents.
“That doesn’t make it better, just so you know,” I shouted. Had to shout. The monster animals were making a lot of terrified noise. “And I am officially sick and tired of hitting strange new worlds that have horrific, giant snake-things as their top predators. Sick of it, do you hear me?”
Didn’t matter if anyone heard me or not—the Habitrail From Hell started shaking again. On the negative side, Dopey was up and doing something with his laser cannon again. On the plus side, managed to spot someone I knew—I could see Jeff and Chuckie, and they’d found Oliver, Butler, Ginger, and Bruno. So, one for our win column.
They were in a tube that only had rabbits in it, lucky them. They were all also picking said rabbits up—Bruno even had a couple in his claws and one on his back, Ginger one in her mouth and two on her back—so someone had given them the clue that the bunnies were now on our side. Or else they, like me, just wanted to get out of here without stomping on them, and taking them along was the most expedient choice. Decided not to care as long as they all made it.
The biggest positive was that Jeff’s team was heading for a platform. Saw Jeff looking around, presumably for me, Christopher, and White. Waved, but had no idea if he saw me, though how you’d miss the Poofs—who were so large they effectively blocked either side of the tube, I didn’t know.
However, if they were blocking it, whatever air we were getting was probably going to stop. “Poofies, back to small.” Harlie and Poofikins did as requested and jumped onto my shoulders. “We need to get out of here. And does anyone know where Christopher and Richard are?”
“Right here, Missus Martini,” White said as he grabbed my hand and we zipped off, Poofs diving back into my purse. “Running on the ceiling to avoid trampling animals.”
Christopher was indeed going so fast that we were able to run above everything. He was going so fast that, even as the Habitrail From Hell started to move around, we stayed “on top,” wherever on top happened to be.
We reached Jeff and the others just as their platform was starting to rise. My music changed to “All My Friends” by the Counting Crows. “Good to see you guys, but we need to save all the rabbits!” Could see a bunch of bunnies running for platforms, but they weren’t likely to make it. “Go up, tell the others to get our ship down here pronto—we’re taking us and all the rabbits and getting the hell out of here!” Jumped off the platform and ran for said hot cross buns on the hoof.
Christopher whizzed past me as Jeff caught up to me. “Seriously?” Jeff shouted. “I thought they were attacking us?”
“They’re Earth bunnies and they’re still normal. You guys saved a bunch along the way.”
“Because those weren’t attacking us. And, yes, fine, they seemed panicked.”
“They are panicked. So am I. I’m really glad your blocks are up or powers are dampened or whatever. Did you look into the water?”
“It’s water. I don’t want to drown in it and I think whatever we’re in or on is going to break apart. Oliver and Butler said we weren’t seeing it as it really was. Don’t care, just want all of us out of here.”
“Oh, you don’t know the half of it. And it relates to us getting out. SuperBun, share what reality is with my guys here, will you?”
SuperBun said that he’d shown them the general gist of what was going on, so they’d know where to run. He’d refrained from the full truth to avoid panic.
“Show them all of it, dude. They need to know, especially if things go badly and they all rarely panic. Though, honestly, if anyone was going to panic, now might be the right time.”
“Whoa!” Jeff grabbed me as SuperBun obviously obliged. “We saw the water as clear before, not black and filled with monsters. What the hell are those things? Besides terrifying and probably worse to you?”