Aliens Abroad

The rabbits shared that when Dopey and Grumpy had been as one, they’d been fine. They’d brought in the Earth animals to help the only planet in the system that seemed likely to be able to have life survive. At least, that’s what they’d said. Events had proven otherwise.

“Those four choices seem odd, honestly. Most planetary infrastructures need insects, desperately, as well as a full spectrum of plants and animals, in order to thrive. Not just grass and four species that, while awesome in their own ways, don’t exactly scream Saviors of the Evolutionary Ecosystem.”

SuperBun pointed out that elephants, horses, and squirrels all had ancestors from millions of years prior.

“Rabbits were also around then. All of our forebears were around millions of years ago. Evolution’s cool. And bringing elephants and horses along I’d get if they hadn’t been weirdly made smaller for no sane reason. Bunnies and squirrels I just don’t understand.”

SuperBun sighed. Squirrels had thumbs and were smart enough to be trained to do manual labor. Plus, they reproduced quickly.

“And are plentiful enough to steal without humans noticing. But horses and elephants aren’t, and you still haven’t explained bunnies.”

Only a few horses and elephants had been taken, fixed, so to speak, then cloned. The squirrels were fixed when they reached adulthood.

“Okay. And, once more with feeling—why bunnies?”

SuperBun sighed again. Bunnies were along because bunnies were cute. He felt that Grumpy and Dopey had chosen the animals they’d thought were the cutest from Earth and just made do with them.

“And we’re always in for more cute where I come from. So, if you guys stop mentally showing me what you see, will I see what is or the illusion?”

The rabbits had no idea but, as the tubes shook like an explosion had happened somewhere, they also suggested we not find out.

My music changed to Fall Out Boy’s “Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.” Knew when to take a hint. “SuperBun, we need to find the others. Any guesses for where they are?”

He had one, actually, since he’d told Ginger where our android was. He just hoped we’d all be in time to get out of here before Grumpy’s attack broke the tubes and let the water in.

“I’m more afraid of what’s in the water than the water itself, and I’m saying that as a person who cannot breathe underwater.” As I said this, looked at the water in the giant ball. It looked different. “Um . . . is that stuff boiling?”

The rabbits looked. They didn’t know, but they truly felt that leaving now was a really good idea.

“Um, squirrels, elephants, and horses—I think you might want to come with us. To, you know, get out of here.”

They all ignored me as if I wasn’t there. Maybe I wasn’t to them. Maybe they saw some weird reflection that showed them that this world was great.

SuperBun tried to get them to listen. Nothing. He felt that they’d been too altered, or else Dopey was controlling them more than usual.

“Okay, then it’s just the humans, A-Cs, androids, Amazons, ocellars, Peregrines, and bunnies that are getting off of this rock.” Put Peter back into my purse and placed SuperBun on the floor. “You lead, I’ll follow.” He hopped off and I trotted after.

Could have used hyperspeed, but I wanted to conserve my reserves right now, if at all possible. Besides, I didn’t want to make it harder for the guys to find me, and since Jeff had said he couldn’t feel anything, they wouldn’t be able to track me via what, for us, was the usual means. Besides, SuperBun was moving fast enough that I definitely had to trot to keep up. We were good.

We went out the “door,” then to the left, and, to the melodious sounds of Iron Maiden’s “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner” we made a right, dodging a lot of squirrels running hither and yon. Passed three hamster trail hallways that had a lot of elephants in them but nothing else of interest that I could spot, then made a sharp left at the fourth one, avoiding a small herd of tiny horses.

Along the way we essentially were circling what the squirrels had really been working on. It wasn’t the bombs and such that I’d seen—it was something that looked like a high-powered laser cannon. A really gigantic one. One that the special effects people from Star Wars would want the patent on.

“Why did Dopey show us a war bunker? Instead of this, I mean.”

SuperBun felt that we’d all seen what we expected to see. The others might have seen the same as me or might not.

“Then why was I in fifty feet of claustrophobic dirt coming down?”

Perhaps because that’s what I’d expected. Maybe I’d experienced something like it, maybe I’d read something similar, maybe I just wanted it to be like that. The water reflected what was in people’s minds.

“But not yours?”

Not any of the animals’. Or the camera, as I’d guessed. The camera showed the truth.

“Why didn’t the other animals come with us, then?”

They were part of this world now, far more than the rabbits were.

Thought about this as we ran along. “But we all saw the big doors and such.”

Because that’s what Dopey had wanted all of us to see, and we’d been close enough to him for him to affect us.

Something about what SuperBun had just told me bore some serious thought. But possibly not right now. “So, is that not really a laser cannon then,” I asked hopefully.

Nope. It was a real laser cannon, and it was aimed at the system’s sun.

“Of course. Why would I have ever expected anything else?”

As we went along, the “roof” above us opened up, far wider than I’d seen it do for any of the platforms. As it did so, the entire Habitrail From Hell began to rise up, the cannon included. And not all that smoothly.

I lost my footing and went down, just like every other creature I could see. Including Dopey, who was on a platform next to the laser cannon.

This was a lot like our Escape From D.C. had been in the Distant Voyager. Meaning I had a really good idea of what was going on. Which would have been better if I’d had anyone to share it with other than Peter and SuperBun. Just hoped the guys would recognize the movements, too, and protect themselves accordingly. Was very glad suddenly that Jeff was blocked, because even though they weren’t “real” anymore, the monster animals sounded scared.

Wanted to call Tim, warn him, and tell him to get themselves and the rabbits onto a shuttle and off this world, but couldn’t risk trying to make the call. I was worried enough that my headphones would pull out of my ears, since my phone was in my purse, seeing as FLOTUS-wear wasn’t equipped with pockets. Resolved to talk to Akiko about this lack the very moment we were back on Earth.

Proving why I didn’t want to lose my headphones, my music changed to George Thorogood’s “Reelin’ & Rockin’,” which confirmed for me what was coming.

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