Aliens Abroad

“With you a hundred percent on that one, too.”

Time to trot around in three different half circles so that we were moving in a serpentine manner—set up this way presumably because Dopey was totally insane—during which time we got to fall down and jump over and around panicked monster animals a lot, do our best not to look at all the sea serpents tracking their potential meals, and I got to listen to “The Long Run” by The Eagles.

We finally reached the laser cannon which was, blessedly, in a big, circular tube-room and which, therefore, meant that the sea serpents were a little farther away. Not far enough away, but then, the next galaxy wouldn’t be far enough in my opinion.

There was a timer on the laser cannon. Which was nice. The time on it was, of course, not.

Per whatever timekeeping Dopey was using—be it hours, minutes, seconds, or time as we didn’t understand it—we had ninety of them left.





CHAPTER 39


“ANY GUESSES FOR WHAT TO DO?” Jeff asked, as the timer clicked to eighty-nine, thus proving that we’d scored “seconds” versus minutes or hours. This was so par for our particular course that neither one of us commented on it.

“I wish we’d brought Chuckie with us,” was my impressive contribution.

The cannon had that timer, but no obvious controls. There was no on/off switch, no burning fuse, and nothing that indicated how it worked. However, it was clear that it was on and preparing to fire, because it was humming in a way that machines will when they’re really revving up to go for the gusto.

The section of the Habitrail From Hell that we were in was a big round ball, similar to the big round ball of black water that was, a quick glance its way showed, still boiling with sea serpents. The black water in there might also be boiling in reality. There was clearly a connection between that section of water and the laser cannon, but had no idea what that would be.

“Right now, I wish we’d brought Chuck along, too,” Jeff said. “And I’m thinking that we should have let Butler come, because he might have an idea of what the hell we should do with this thing.”

“SuperBun?”

He had nothing. The squirrels did most of the work on these things, and none of them were responding to his questions, pleas for help, or even suggestions to run to an elevated platform and get out of here. And Dopey was incommunicado.

My music changed to “Black Water Falls” by The War On Drugs. Didn’t have a lot of time to figure this one out, so did what I pretty much always did—went with my best guess and hoped like hell I’d guessed right. Especially since what I was guessing was not going to be good for me, Jeff, and SuperBun in any way, shape, or sinuous sea serpent form.

Pulled my Glock out, aimed at what I was going to think of as the ceiling of this thing until officially told otherwise, and fired.

One shot was all it took, which was worrisome in the sense that I’d have thought that the Habitrail was made from actual impressive materials, not out of the same plastic that regular hamster playgrounds were constructed from. But, since we were now under forty-five seconds, chose not to complain about Dopey’s shoddy workmanship and lack of professional pride.

“What the hell?” Jeff asked, as the water sprayed down and whatever the Habitrail was made out of started to crack, letting more water in. “Tell me you know what you’re doing, Kitty.”

“Um, I think I do. Well, in terms of stopping the laser cannon. In terms of our survival? Not so much.” Hoped my Glock didn’t count as machinery because I wanted to at least have the means to shoot the sea serpents if necessary.

The water hit the cannon. And the cannon’s humming slowed. More water, more slowing, until the humming stopped altogether. The timer stopped, too, at ten seconds.

“Okay,” Jeff said, as the water started to come in faster. It wasn’t filling up the room because the Habitrail was interconnected, which meant we weren’t going to drown. Yet. “That’s good, that’s very good. So, the question now is, can we outrun the water to get to an elevator?”

“To get to an elevator the water hasn’t touched. Per SuperBun and our prime example here, the water destroys machinery.”

SuperBun shared that there was one elevator that was protected from the water by a door. The one in Dopey’s throne room.

“Of course that’s where we have to go,” Jeff said, as he took my hand. “Why would we have to go anywhere else?”

“Or we could, you know, just run really fast to the closest elevator that doesn’t have water near it yet,” Christopher said as he grabbed Jeff and took off at the fastest Flash speeds I’d experienced from him so far.

“You were supposed to get to the ship,” I said, managing not to throw up. Adrenaline was sometimes effective even when the Hyperspeed Dramamine had no effect, and my adrenaline was very high at the moment.

“Yeah? I thought about it. Then I decided that I wasn’t going to let your kids grow up as orphans, even though I’d be raising them as my own. Call me a reluctant foster father.”

We reached the elevator and leaped onto it. It started up right away, though none of us let go of each other. “How do these things work?” I asked as I put my gun back into my purse. “I mean that seriously, because I don’t see anything that would tell this thing to go up or down.”

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Christopher replied. “At all. As long as this one keeps on working long enough for us to get out of here.”

“Thanks for coming back for us,” Jeff said with a great deal of feeling. We did the A-C group hug, but we didn’t let it last too long, just in case.

Which proved to be the right choice. There was a loud cracking sound and, as we turned toward it, saw the Habitrail around the laser cannon collapse. The area was instantly filled with water and sea serpents, who started racing through the Habitrail.

We could see all of this because, amazingly, whatever the lights were or were made out of, they were still working, underwater or not. Decided not to ask in case I’d end up hating the answer.

SuperBun shared that they were floating phosphorescence.

Decided I could live with that.

Phosphorescence that, SuperBun added, was harvested from the inside of the sea serpents and had its own form of sentience, albeit a very limited form.

Told SuperBun to stop sharing. “Um, guys? Guess what things seem to have hyperspeed on this planet?”

Interestingly enough, all the sea serpents ignored all the elephants, horses, and squirrels as if they weren’t there. Possibly because they were on a mission. Two missions, really.

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