Aliens Abroad

Looked around—no sign of our shuttle. Hoped that was a good news thing.

During our love fest with the animals, we were joined by Siler and Wruck, who did Siler’s Patented Appearing Out Of Nowhere Act. But they weren’t alone. They had Dopey and who I assumed was Grumpy—based on her looking like the other, ragged half of Dopey, but also like half of Mrs. Claus, versus Santa—with them. Dopey looked even worse for wear than I’d seen previously. Good.

Wruck was in full Anciannas form—taller than normal, a little less average, a little more unformed, but somehow beautiful in a way that remained hard for a human to describe. He looked like humanity, all of humanity, while still looking like himself, only more so. And he glowed, just a bit. And, as that special, finishing touch, he had wings.

He was also righteously and furiously angry. He looked like the descriptions of Biblical angels who were about to rain down fire and wrath. His wings were fully extended and bristling, his countenance was dark, his eyes flashing, and the glow around him was flickering in a way that suggested said glow was about to become real flame. It was impressive, as long as it wasn’t turned on me.

Which it wasn’t. Wruck was giving the full Anciannas Blast O’ Rage to Dopey and Grumpy. Who were cringing.

Couldn’t blame them on the one hand, but on the other, these were superconsciousnesses and they shouldn’t have been afraid of a physical being like Wruck. But they were, clearly. They were easily as frightened of him as we’d been of the sea serpents.

“How dare you allow this, any of this, to happen?” Wruck thundered. “This is the opposite of what you were charged to do, and you have destroyed not one but two worlds in the process. And you were about to destroy all of existence. For your petty arguments and ridiculous fight for supremacy.”

Dopey and Grumpy were whining about how they had the right to do whatever, which wasn’t making Wruck look any happier. Had a feeling that he really wanted to smite them both, and also had a feeling that he probably could do it.

There was something about this that had been bothering me for a while, but I still couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong.

My music changed to “Is It My Body” by Alice Cooper and all of a sudden, what was going on dawned on me. Better late than never.

It all clicked—the weirdness of everything, the destruction, the lack of focus and planning, the general situation. It was because of one simple, but major, thing. “They aren’t superconsciousnesses anymore. That’s the problem. They became real in a physical sense.”

Everyone looked at me, Dopey and Grumpy, too. They looked pretty awful but they also had a look I was familiar with—they looked guilty, like they’d been caught breaking the rules and were hoping to get out of it somehow, probably by blaming the other.

Dopey opened his mouth. Put up the paw. He shut his mouth. Wow. The One True FLOTUS Power even worked on beings like this. Had to love it.

“Dopey, you will not speak. Grumpy, you won’t, either. Your excuses are likely just as lame as his.”

“I wasn’t attacking the planet,” she said sullenly. “I was trying to save the creatures.”

“Uh huh. I’d believe that, but the only creatures saved were the rabbits, and that was by us. So, nice try. I meant it, shut up. I’m not talking to you, I’m telling the others what’s going on.”

“How would you know?” Grumpy asked, even more sullenly.

It had been a long, stressful day, and she wasn’t Lizzie, aka someone I loved and did my best to be a good surrogate mom to. My temper snapped. Plus, my music changed to “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by Will Smith, from back when he’d been the Fresh Prince and hanging out with DJ Jazzy Jeff. Which seemed kind of like permission from Algar. At least, that was how I was gonna take it.

“You, young lady, will speak when spoken to,” I snarled at Grumpy. “How would I know? I named you. I created you. Therefore, I know you. And I know what you are, what you’ve done. You changed yourselves into something that’s not what you were originally. It’s a form that’s not mortal, but it’s also corporeal, versus the formless spirits like you were originally. You haven’t combined cohesively and, because of that, you’re both incomplete and, worse, you don’t have your powers anymore, so you can’t actually fix any of the mess you’ve made.”

They both gaped at me, which was weird to see, since each of them only had half a mouth.

“What do you mean by two worlds?” Jeff asked.

“This one and the one our other shuttle took a look at. Tim said that Cameron felt it had been recently destroyed. It’s the nearest thing to this one, so either it’s this planet’s moon or vice versa.”

Siler nodded. “Maurer said it looked like it had been hit by nuclear blasts.”

“Wonderful,” Jeff growled. “Start talking.”

“They’re sister planets,” Grumpy said, but far less sullenly. “They orbit the sun but also orbit each other.”

“This one is a black world somehow. Everything on it’s black because of the water. The other world, was it green once?”

She nodded. “When we . . . fought . . .” They both looked even guiltier.

“The sea serpents, are they the indigenous creatures of this world?” Wruck thundered, sounding even angrier than he had before.

“Yes,” Dopey admitted. “Only them.”

“Yeah, I freaking guessed, you Earth animal stealers. Don’t even get me started on what you did to the elephants, horses, and squirrels, you sick bastards. I should let our resident Avenging Angel destroy you for what you did to those innocent creatures, let alone what you did to the sea serpents. I may be terrified of them, but it’s their world and you stole it from them and enslaved them to boot! You know what we call people like that? We call them oppressors, dictators, and all-around crappy people. But we sure as hell don’t call them benevolent.”

“Dear Enemy” by The Exies came on. So I was kind of prepared for attack, as Siler looked behind me and stiffened in a way I knew meant he was ready to start shooting or even possibly running. Anything scaring the Assassin Supreme was probably really frightening. Meaning we likely had another sea serpent leaping out of the water, because it could never be easy or else the cosmos would, apparently, dissolve in a burst of light or something. And even then, figured we’d be forced to fix it. But I wasn’t bitter. Much.

“We can save them,” a deep voice with a lot of force and carrying power said from behind us, interrupting my nonbitterness. “The other creatures. We can make them what they should be.”

We all turned to see a sea serpent head bobbing just by where Ginger had made sushi of the one that had tried to eat us.

“Um . . .” Wondered if it was time to run like hell or not. Hoped not. These pumps were not made for all the action I was putting them through.

“I am the ruler of our people,” the sea serpent went on. “You may call me Hixxx.”

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