Aliens Abroad

“Some people. Some people eat rabbit.” I did, for example. Though, now that I had Peter and SuperBun, realized I was never eating a rabbit again. “We don’t eat our pets.”

“Unless we’re starving,” Christopher said.

“You’re not helping,” Jeff told him.

“But I believe that we can,” Neela said. “We have that element inside of us.”

“But it could hurt you to give it to us,” Chuckie said. “And that goes against what we believe.”

Neela shook her leaves. “No. It will not harm us. This planet also has chlorophyll. Theirs is even more powerful than ours.”

“Is that possible?” Reader asked.

Chuckie shrugged. “It’s a big old galaxy. So, sure, why not?”

Tim was on his phone. “Yes, one shuttle, please, it should be enough. And Drax, too, since we have a source of chlorophyll but not the means of extraction. Thanks.” He hung up. “They’ll be here shortly.”

“Meaning, we’re back to the Grumpy and Dopey Show.”

Sandy sighed. “They should return to be as they were.”

“They can’t,” Chuckie said. “Just look at them. If they could have, they already would have.”

“Unless they’re faking,” Christopher, our current Designated Downer, muttered.

Had to admit, Grumpy and Dopey were not looking impressive or powerful in any way. Wondered for a moment if Christopher was right, though, if it was an act. Then reminded myself that they were, literally, half of themselves and that the sooner we got them fixed, the better, for everyone.

“Their powers are gone. They’re still powerful, but no longer like they were. And the longer you wait to join them, the weaker they’re going to get.” Looked at the two of them. “You guys need to stop pretending to be mythical Earth figures.”

“We chose a benevolent image,” Dopey said. “Because that’s what we want to be.”

“And yet, the first thing you guys did was fight.”

They both looked down. “We failed,” Grumpy said.

“Yes, you did. It happens. It happens to humans all the time. We manage to find the will to go on. But the biggest issue was that you went about this the wrong way. Look, stop trying to imitate someone or something, anything, else. Be what the two of you want to be. Not what you think you should be, but what you actually want to be. Together. Discuss it between the two of you. Do it in the superfast superconsciousness way that I’m hoping you still can or that Sandy can help you with. But figure out it before Hixxx is back.”

“Why so fast?” Sandy asked.

“Because I have another appointment to keep that all your crap has made me late for and I and my people would like to get on the road again, so to speak. Sooner as opposed to later.”

Jeff grinned. “And what the one who wears the scales says, goes.”

Rolled my eyes. “I say let’s get this all taken care of pronto. We have promises to keep.”

“And miles to go before we sleep,” Chuckie added with a laugh.

“When would you like the chlorophyll?” Neela asked politely. “Since I have promised, too.”

“Whenever it’s convenient for you to provide it,” Jeff replied.

“Though now would be great,” Chuckie added.

“Then now it will be.” Neela called a few other Dawar over, and Dopey, Grumpy, and Sandy got ready to do their thing, whatever that thing might be.

While we waited for the shuttle to arrive, Algar put Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” onto my airwaves, Jeff, Chuckie, Tim, and Reader made scales jokes, Christopher spent time glaring at a variety of things because he never wanted to be out of practice, and I pulled our group aside so we could fill each other in on whatever we’d missed, which I was hoping wasn’t a lot but probably was something vital. Realized I was doing the Debby Downer thing now and decided to vote for hoping for the positive spin.

“We got all the rabbits up to the ship,” Tim said, once he was done cracking wise. “Some went in the shuttles with people but, fortunately, we were able to just pack them like Themnir into some of the shuttles. Airborne handled most of that, with Butler and Maurer helping. Butler’s the one bringing Drax and the shuttle.”

“Look at you, Mister Man of the Galaxy, using Themnir instead of sardines as your example. I’m so proud.”

“Yeah, well, the Themnir arrived alive and sardines pack in dead. I went for the positive spin. Speaking of positive, are you absolutely sure they’re trustworthy? And before you say yes, remember that you weren’t the one they were chasing with their big nasty teeth and sharp claws.”

“They were trying to get more space vehicles down here so everyone could escape.”

“Yeah, we figured it out when they erupted out of the ground and ran for the shuttle,” Reader said. “It was a clue.”

“Why so testy, James? Too much caffeine?”

He gave me a shot of the cover boy grin. “Nope, I’m just glad that we have room on the Distant Voyager for them. Unless they want to stay now that things are calmed down.”

SuperBun shared that his people wanted off this rock forever. Space sounded better than what they’d been through. He also mentioned that all of them were what humans would consider domesticated by now—even the ones who’d been wild when taken were so grateful to be away from Dopey and Grumpy and this planet of terror that they were pro anyone and everyone on the Distant Voyager, now and forever, and if that meant they were pets, then they’d be pets that didn’t have to worry about being turned into terrifying monsters, and that was a bit of all right for all of them.

Once translated, everyone agreed that rabbits were great as pets and not as food, and they could stay. Felt SuperBun finally relax.

Hixxx returned to the tune of “Union” by The Black Eyed Peas and with another eruption of animals. “Horses, elephants, and squirrels, oh my. And, thank God, they look normal again.”

We had African and Asian elephants, every type and color of horse, and every type and color of squirrel, too. It was interesting—as with the rabbits, which ran the gamut, Dopey and Grumpy had clearly only been selective in terms of the general idea of these animals. Otherwise, if you wanted a black draft horse or an Appaloosa, or anything in between, you had it. It was impressive in that, per SuperBun, they’d cloned most of the horses.

The squirrels ran for trees in that squirrel way—run fast, stop, look around, run, stop, look around, reach a tree, climb it. The Dawar seemed to have no issues with the squirrels at all. I heard a lot of tree people giggling, which sounded like leaves shaking, but it was a nice sound. Heard happy squirrel chittering, which was a far nicer sound, especially having heard the unhappy squirrel chittering not all that long ago.

The horses whinnied at everyone, then galloped off in several herds. Figured they just wanted to run for a bit and feel like themselves, and who could blame them?

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