Aliens Abroad

The elephants, however, came over to us, the ones with the largest tusks in the lead. SuperBun shared that elephants were already hella intelligent and the black water had made them more so.

The lead African and Asian elephants bowed their heads to us. We bowed back. Then they walked off. The rest of their elephants followed suit. This took quite a while—Hixxx had to submerge at least six times, the shuttle arrived, Butler and Drax got introduced to Neela, Drax and Neela started the Chlorophyll Draining Process, and Algar had time to play all of Elefant’s “The Black Magic Show” album—but I didn’t regret it.

The elephants were talking to me the whole time, thanking us for saving them from their personal hell. They’d known and understood all that had happened to them and the others, had understood what the mad scientist had planned to do to the sun, had even understood that another world had already been destroyed, but had been powerless to stop any of it. And they appreciated how angry this made me, because they had given up hope, but we’d shown them that there was still good in the world.

“I’m proud of you,” Jeff said softly to me as the last elephants moved on. “I can hear the animals through your mind now, baby, and I can also feel how so much of you just wants to shred Dopey and Grumpy to bits. But you’re not going to do that or allow it, and that’s what true leaders, good leaders, do.”

Leaned against him. “I hope you’re right. I hope I’m right—that they’ll actually have learned from this and be able to do good, versus evil, now. I want a Dark Crystal ending for them and this world, not The Fly.”

My music changed to “Crystal Baller” by Third Eye Blind. Really hoped this was a positive sign from Algar, but didn’t bet on it, just because I hated giving the cosmos that much of an opening and invitation.

“We’re about to find out.” Jeff put his arm around me and we walked back to where Sandy, Grumpy, and Dopey were. Everyone else on our team gathered ’round, animals, too—the Poofs came out of my purse for this, though they all stayed small, Christopher was still holding Bruno, and Siler was carrying Ginger—and Wruck went back to his human form. Some of the elephants, horses, squirrels, Dawar, and Ezkot came over to watch as well—sea serpent heads sticking out of the holes that had been elevator shafts—in addition to Hixxx and Neela.

“They have chosen,” Sandy said.

Noted that there was a lot of extra swirling around. “The rest of the Seven Dwarfs in attendance?”

“They are. They are not forming, however.” Sandy looked like he was trying not to laugh. “They don’t want you to give them additional names.”

“Probably a wise choice. So, speaking of choices, what’s it going to be?” I asked Dopey and Grumpy.

They took each other’s hand and melted together. Literally. It was kind of cool but also kind of gross, but there weren’t fluids involved, so it was less gross than it could have been. It was also interesting, in the way that all things like this could be. Algar graced me with Bowling for Soup’s version of “I Melt With You” and I managed not to laugh.

The other superconsciousnesses, other than Sandy, were swirling around them, doing something, though it was impossible to see what, exactly. They were mostly opaque while swirling for this, so it was hard to see much.

It took longer than I’d expected—a good five minutes, during which I got to listen to Megadeth’s “United Abominations” and really hope Algar was being funny versus prophetic—before the swirling stopped. The superconsciousnesses went back to clear-swirly versus foggy-swirly, and what was now Dopey and Grumpy was here, for all the world to see.

Definitely not what I’d been expecting.





CHAPTER 44


GRUMPY AND DOPEY HAD chosen to become a rabbit.

A giant rabbit, at least compared to SuperBun—frankly, as compared to anyone other than the bigger guys with us—but a rabbit nonetheless. One that stood upright and whose front paws were a lot more like hands and all that, but still somehow managed to be adorable, possibly because it had fluffy fur and floppy ears. Even with large claws and big, sharp teeth it was adorbs.

There were a few moments of stunned silence from everyone. Even Sandy looked shocked, and the other superconsciousnesses were swirling in a way that indicated shock to me as well. They’d definitely made an entrance.

The Dopey-Grumpy Bunny looked worried. Realized that now wasn’t the time for criticism. Didn’t even need the song cue of “Hip Hop Lover” by En Vogue in order to catch this clue.

“I love it,” I said with the same level of enthusiasm I used when one of the kids made and gave me something.

The Dopey-Grumpy Bunny relaxed. “Really?” The voice didn’t sound distinctly male or female or animal, even. But it wasn’t unpleasant, just different, in the same way that Wruck was different in true Anciannas form.

“Yes,” I said firmly. “What made you choose this form?”

“Rabbits are Gr-, ah, our favorite. And they are cute and can be brave and protective, too.”

“Well put, Harvey.”

The rabbit blinked. “Is that our name now? It sounds . . . male.”

“It can be. It can be anything you want it to be. But in the movie, Harvey is a pooka, which is an Irish spirit, as in something that’s both there and not there. I mean, Pooka would be an option, but I think Harvey is better. Besides, we don’t need you being mischievous like Bugs, goofy like Roger, working too hard like Energizer, or neurotic like Pooh’s friend. Peter is already taken, thank you very much, there’s only one SuperBun and I’m holding him, and you don’t get to be named after a holiday or a color. You’ve done enough damage already so, while it could be fitting, Caerbannog is right out, and I refuse to name you after cereal, especially because the word Trix can have so many other meanings.” Heard Tim and Reader snicker. “So, yes, I think you’re keeping Harvey.”

“We have an enemy named Harvey,” Jeff added. “It would be nice to know someone with that name who isn’t our enemy.”

“We didn’t understand most of the references,” Harvey admitted.

“Neither did I,” Jeff said cheerfully. “Doesn’t matter.”

Harvey nodded slowly. “We no longer wish to be your enemy. We don’t wish to be anyone’s enemy.”

“That’s the spirit,” Tim said. “Better late than never, too.”

“Super. Gustav, what’s our chlorophyll situation?”

“The Dawar have given us all that we should need,” he replied.

“We can provide some as well,” Hixxx said. “Just in case.”

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