“Yeah, but you left me with old people.” He scowled. “That was so dumb. And the forest smelled weird. And I hated it. And then Pat and Leslie wouldn’t let me go very far, even though I’m fourteen years old and that’s practically an adult. I can make my own decisions!”
“Oh boy.”
“Hey, little bro!” Kevin said, coming to stand next to me. “How goes it?”
“My life is so hard,” Zero moaned. “Everything is dark and dank, like the fetid recesses of my mind.”
“Yeah,” Kevin said. “That’s so… you. Come look at Gary’s horn.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice, even though everyone could clearly still hear him. “Make sure you tell him how nice it looks, because if you don’t, he might not let me have the Buttery Herb Cheese Muffin later.”
“What’s a Buttery Herb Cheese—”
“You keep your depravity to yourself,” I warned Kevin. “Zero doesn’t need to be corrupted.”
“Hey! I can take it!”
“So can Gary,” Kevin said. “That’s why we have a bakery to begin with.”
Two feathered dragons walked regally from the trees, their heads held high, their hardened feathers sparkling like ice in the sunlight. Pat’s eyes were narrowed, taking in every little thing around them, assessing for conceivable threats against her mate. Leslie was smiling at me, and I couldn’t help but grin back at her. She’d been kind to me in the Dark Woods and had spoken up more than once against GW when she thought I’d had enough for the day.
“Sam,” Pat said as I bowed low to them. I didn’t have to do it, but I could see she was pleased at the action.
“Oh, look at all of you,” Leslie tittered. “Like a band of merry heroes gathered together. So brave with your little faces. Kevin, come here and bring your young man so that I may gaze upon him. I hear that his horn is rather long, and if I weren’t a lesbian, I would surely be a size queen. Dimitri, you are looking fit.”
“Pat,” Dimitri said, nodding. “Leslie.”
“Tiny speck of dust,” Pat said, and I adored her.
And then the sun was blocked out.
I sighed as I looked at Randall. “Don’t make this weird.”
Everyone turned their faces skyward, excluding Randall. He had that grumpy look that he sometimes got when, say, for example, his old mentor happened to be flying around overhead. “I have no idea what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. You’re going to be all stiff and snarly, and he’s going to be all growly and reticent, and then the walls will come crumbling down and you’ll both cry and hug each other. And then you’ll tell him you love him, and he’ll say the same, and then you guys can go do old people stuff like going for dinner at three in the afternoon or play chess in the park—and yes, I realize we don’t have a park right now, but you get what I mean—and then you’ll sit around and complain about the youth of today not knowing how good they have it and how back in your day, you had to work to get anything you wanted, not like the kids who get everything handed to them.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Tell that to Eduardo and Morely.”
“I’m going to regret asking this, but who are Eduardo and Morely?”
“Two elderly side characters in the seminal novel The Butler and the Manticore, which I never want to read again.”
Randall looked like he didn’t know whether to strangle me or walk away. I was used to that from him.
“Why is he just circling overhead?” Justin asked, sounding reverential.
“He’s showing off,” I explained. “He’s a dragon. It’s what they do.”
“Hey!” four dragons snapped at me.
I waited.
“Okay,” Kevin allowed. “That might be true.”
“I like it when people look at me,” Leslie said, preening her feathers.
“I have big teefs,” Zero slurred as his fangs dropped.
“We are dragons,” Pat said. “Everyone should be in awe of us.”
“I hate dragons,” I muttered.
The Great White landed in the empty field next to Camp HaveHeart. If he wanted to, it would take only a couple of swipes and the camp would be reduced to rubble, its inhabitants buried. I wondered if the Darks all the way in the City of Lockes could see him towering over the camp. I hoped they could and were starting to panic.
He lowered his great head toward us, and I could hear people in Camp HaveHeart oohing and aahing over him. The other dragons were deferential, Ryan looked like he was fighting the urge to draw his sword again, Justin’s eyes were wide and unblinking, Gary had little rainbows shooting from the tip of his horn (for reasons I didn’t want to think of), Dimitri and his fairies were buzzing brightly, and Tiggy was waving frantically up at the biggest dragon in the world.
I said, “GW. Glad you could join us. Thanks for the flyover. At least three people were impressed. I wasn’t one of them.”
Everyone turned slowly to look at me, agape.
Randall said, “You’ve aged rather poorly. I’m not surprised.”
Everyone turned slowly to look at him, mouths opening still wider. Even me.
The Great White rumbled, eyes shifting to Randall. “You can understand me, yes?”
“Yes,” Randall said.
“Good. You were a terrible apprentice.”
“You were a terrible mentor,” Randall retorted.
“Draaaammmmmmaaaaaaaa,” Gary whispered. “Yaaaassss.”
“Is that so?” GW asked.
“Quite.”
“Your human emotions became your undoing.”
“Not all of us are born without a soul.” Randall sniffed delicately. “Or rather, one as black as the inside of a troll cave.”
“Oh my gods,” I whispered fervently. “They’re being growly and reticent. They’re Eduardo and Morely. I knew it. Break down and cry so you can be old in the park!”
GW glanced in my direction. “What’s he mumbling about now?”
Randall waved a hand dismissively at me. “If you ignore him, eventually he either gets distracted by something shiny or starts having relations with the knight.”
“Rude,” I said. “But also pretty much true.”
“I wish I’d known that before I accepted him as my apprentice,” GW said, gigantic head shifting. “I am ancient. A century is but a drop in the ocean for me. That being said, the last year was the longest of my life.”
“Aww,” I said.
GW blinked slowly. “What.”
Randall rolled his eyes. “He chose to take that as a compliment.”
“That’s not how that works.”
“It is in Sam’s mind.”
“I’m a handful,” I said. “Right, Ryan?” I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow. “Right? I’m a handful? Get it? Yeah. You get it.”
He was sweating profusely.
“Ryan?” the Great White growled. “The Knight Commander? Is this who stands before me?”
“Eep,” Ryan said. “I mean, yes, sir. Lord Dragon. Sir. Great White. Master. Your Excellency.”
“He gets weird sometimes,” I said, frowning at Ryan.
“I don’t get weird,” Ryan snapped out the side of his mouth, gaze still trained on GW.
“A cornerstone,” GW scoffed derisively. “A waste.”
“Oh man,” I breathed. “You shouldn’t have said that. You’re so dead, and you don’t even know it yet. Ryan! Stab him in the eye and show him no one talks about my cornerstone that way!”
“I can’t stab him,” Ryan said frantically. “He’s the Great White!”
“You most certainly can stab him.”
“You did such a wonderful job with your apprentice,” Randall said to GW. “Really. You must be so proud.”
“He came to me like this,” GW snapped. “So any fault rests firmly on those who held his stewardship before me. Like you, for one.”
“You’re lucky my hip aches today. Otherwise I’d have half a mind to give you the business end of my business.”
“Your hip?” GW snorted. “I’m surprised you’re even still standing with how brittle your bones must be.”
“I noticed your left hand is curling in, and you favored it while landing. Arthritis is such an awful thing. I’m glad you have it.”
“Defend my honor!” I demanded.
“You defend your honor,” Ryan said. “You’re the one who can do magic. I just have a sword.”
“Yeah, but you always brag how big it is!”
“Do you have any understanding just how large that dragon is?”
“Say something. He hates cornerstones. You’re a cornerstone. Ergo, he hates you. You need to show him how wrong he is and how cool you are.”