Ryan sat up quickly then, legs going off the edge of the bed, feet on the floor. He wrapped his arms around me, my legs on either side of him. He mouthed at my throat as he fucked me deeply, my name on his lips, my cock rubbing against the skin of his stomach.
I tilted my head until my forehead pressed against his, and he reached between us, his hand still sticky with oil as he circled my cock. He jerked me off quickly, the practiced twist of his wrist causing me to gasp. I came between us a moment later, spunk on his chest and chin. He bit my shoulder brutally, blunt teeth sinking into my skin as he tensed, hips stuttering, a low whine crawling from his throat.
We stayed like that for a time, breathing and breathing, sticky and sated.
Finally I managed to say, “Dude. We win. At everything.”
He only hugged me harder.
LATER, AFTER we’d stripped the bed and cleaned ourselves up, twilight was beginning to set in, torches lit around the camp, their light coming in through an open window. I was hungry, but I wanted sleep more. The idea of moving my head from Ryan’s chest was too difficult to comprehend, especially with his hand tracing small circles on my bare back.
Neither of us had spoken for a while, content with only the sounds of the camp coming through the window. Randall said he didn’t expect Kevin back until the next day, and even though he wouldn’t tell me who the dragon would return with, I hadn’t had the strength to argue with him.
Ryan broke the silence first. “What they said. In the barn. Mama. Randall.”
I’d been on the verge of dozing, and it took me a moment to parse through his words. “They said a lot of things.”
“About you being a weapon. About using you.”
“Oh. That.”
“I didn’t like it.”
I kissed his chest. “Glad you got my back.”
He huffed out a breath. “I’m being serious.”
“I know. But they had a point.”
“No. They didn’t. You’re not something to be used.”
“Well, you just used me pretty damn well, so.”
“Sam.”
I sighed. “Look. I—I get it. Okay? I do. I really, really do. You know better than anyone how much I hate this whole… thing. Having all of this put on me. I mean, dude. Have you seen me? Who in their right mind would put the fate of Verania in my hands?”
“Right?”
“Rude. But also true. I’m not… mad. At them. For saying what they did. Because you can’t help how you feel. And I can’t say if our roles were reversed that I wouldn’t have thought the same thing they did.”
“How close was it?”
“What?”
“At Morgan’s funeral. How close were you to bringing him back?”
I closed my eyes. I hadn’t told anyone about that, but of course he knew. “It was close,” I admitted. “More than I care to think about. I was hurting and scared and… I don’t know. I didn’t know where Randall was. I didn’t know where Myrin was. I didn’t know if you were going to wake up. The King proclaimed I was to be his wizard, and I had this voice in my head, this stupid fucking voice that kept saying come away with me, o human child, in the forest deep, in the dark of the wild, and I told myself that I had to do what was right, and that it wasn’t going to be what I wanted to do.”
“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
I shook my head. “If it’d been you there on that slab, I don’t know if I could have stopped myself.”
“Sam—”
“No. You don’t get to take that away from me. Everyone expects me to save them because that’s what they were told I was going to do. That I’m this good person, that I’m this light, but if it’d been you instead of Morgan, I don’t know if I would have cared. I would have burned the life out of them if only it meant you could take another breath.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I don’t know if I need you to.”
“What happened to you? In the forest?”
I ran a finger along the jut of his hip bone. “You ever wake from a dream, and it’s so clear that you’re sure you’ll remember it forever? But then you go about your day and it fades slowly and surely until you can only remember bits and pieces, and even then, you’re not sure if you’re remembering it correctly.”
“Like that?”
“A lot of it. But what I can remember is Kevin hitting on me, Leslie mothering him and Pat getting annoyed, Zero complaining about everything, and GW wishing we would all go away and leave him alone.”
“So… pretty much normal, then.”
“Right? Our lives are so weird, man.”
“Was it worth it?”
“I don’t know yet. But we’ll find out soon enough. One way or another.”
“I love you, you know.”
I smiled against his chest. “I know. I love you too, dude.”
I felt more than heard his laugh, his chest rumbling against my ear. “I’m not mad anymore.”
“No?”
“Nah.”
“The sex was that good, huh?”
“Oh my gods.”
“Seriously. I legit just fucked the anger out of you. Wow. I’m amazing.”
“Sam,” he groaned.
“I’ll keep that in mind for the future if I ever make you mad again. Just fuck it all away.”
“Yeah, let me know how that works out for you.”
And when he burst out into bright, beautiful laughter as I bit the skin of his chest, I promised myself that I was going to do what was necessary to make sure I heard that sound for the rest of my life.
HE WAS on the verge of sleep when he mumbled, “Can’t believe you’d do that for me.”
“Do what?” I asked, blinking slowly.
“Be mortal. Grow old with me. I can’t wait, Sam. It’s gonna be good. I promise. You won’t regret it.” And then he was snoring.
And later, before I followed him into sleep, I looked out the window and saw the shimmer of stars in the sky.
And I made a wish.
Please. Please. Please let me have this. Let me have these moments for as long as I can.
I closed my eyes.
And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t dream.
Chapter 15: Randall and the Great White
“SHH.”
“You shhh. I’ll have you know, kitten, that I am quiet as a mouse when I want to be. I didn’t need my horn for that. But now that I have it, they won’t even hear me coming.”
“Everyone hear you coming.”
“Did you just make a sex joke?”
“Tiggy funny.”
“I don’t know that I’ve ever been more proud of anyone in my life. Bravo, my good giant. Bravo.”
“Shh.”
“Oh please. Like they’re even remotely conscious. It’s not as if—oh my gods, do you smell that? It’s like the aftermath of a gangbang of a group of particularly pungent pygmies. What were they doing in here?”
“Knight Delicious Face eatin’ Sam’s flower?”
“More like his entire garden. I mean, I’m all for the butt sex, as you very well know, but this is just… meaty. Like, it’s one of those smells that you can taste, you know? I can actually taste their coupling.”
Unable to ignore them anymore, I opened my eyes.
Gary and Tiggy stood on my side of the bed, staring down at me.
“Hi!” Tiggy said, hunched over so his head wouldn’t hit the ceiling.
“Oh look,” Gary said. “He awoke all on his own. How fortuitous.” He leaned forward and put his snout against my cheek, squishing it in. “I can taste your sex,” he whispered.
I shoved his face off me. “What the hell is wrong with the both of you?”
“What’s wrong with us? Well, where should I begin? How about that I just had to walk into your stink den of love? How about that, Sam?”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Sam, I’ve done things to people that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. It has never smelled like this after.”
“I was pent-up!”
“Gross,” Tiggy said.
I groaned, turning my back to them and curling into Ryan’s side again. Maybe if I ignored them, they’d go away.
“Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam Sam SamSamSamSamSam—”
“What!”
“That’s better,” Gary said. “Don’t turn your back on me again, or I’ll stab you. In case you can’t remember because you got your brains literally fucked out of your head, I have my horn again, and I can follow up on threats now.”
I sighed, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I remember.”
“Good. To make up for your rudeness, I will accept a compliment now about it.”
“It looks nice.”
“That was weak. Try again.”