I pulled my arm free. “Actually, dude, things are a little different nowadays. Stay here. I promise it’s gonna be fine.”
And because I was the hero of the story, I kissed my beloved fiercely, pressing his lips back against his teeth. He grunted into my mouth, lips smacking as I pulled away.
“I’m about to be so badass, you don’t even know,” I said with a grin. “Kevin! Let’s rock!”
“Wait, Sam—”
But Kevin had already picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. I fell toward his back, grabbing on to one of the sharp spines, sliding down until I landed on his back. His wings were spread and he was lifting off even before the others could stop us. I heard Gary say, “Holy shit, I want to get up on both of them,” before Kevin launched us into the air.
There was red and blue and white in my head, and I thought hold, hold, we’ve got this, I promise, and they agreed, though GW didn’t seem to be too pleased.
“He’s a pain in my ass,” I muttered.
“He’s just mad because he thinks you’re delaying the inevitable.”
“Thank you, Kevin. I surely needed that contribution.”
It was a short flight, all things considered. Kevin was quick, the wind slamming into my face, causing my eyes to water. Green and gold swirled around me, crawling along my skin, the scars on my torso heated and electrified. My heart was thundering in my chest, and I was suddenly angry, furious at the notion that Mama and the others were most likely riding for their lives. Letnia and Moishe mattered, yes, but it was Mama I thought of, beautiful and terrifying Mama, who was most likely filled with such a dangerous rage at being forced from her home. And since she was on her way here, it meant her army of whores had been defeated and most likely captured.
Kevin descended quickly, my stomach rising to my throat. His wings were folded at his sides as we hurtled toward the earth. Right at the last minute, he spread his wings, which billowed, causing us to slow. He landed, claws digging into the earth. He lowered his head toward the ground, and I slid from him.
He growled as the sound of horse hooves grew louder. I patted his side and stood near his head.
Mama was in the lead, looking fierce as all get-out as she galloped toward us. Her eyes widened when she saw me standing next to Kevin, and she started to slow her horse.
“Keep going!” I shouted at her.
She looked as if she was going to argue, but then she glanced over her shoulder beyond Moishe and Letnia and saw the shadows racing after them, Darks using magic to run faster than any human should have been able to. She dug her heels into the side of the horse, urging it faster. “You better not die, precious!” she bellowed as she passed us by. “I will murder you if you do!”
I grinned at her. Letnia didn’t even spare us a look as she rode past. Moishe stared at me curiously, his gaze unnerving. He had to have known I was a full-fledged wizard now. Elves could taste the magic as if it were a physical thing. He would have felt what the others could not.
There were five of them, all Darks. They’d seen the dragon and were slowing, but when they spotted me, they came screeching to a halt, dirt and grass kicking up around them. It would have been comedic had they not just been trying to capture Mama.
“Hello!” I called out cheerfully, squinting against the bright sunlight.
A rather portly Dark said, “Holy shit, it’s him.”
“What’s he covered in?” asked a second Dark. “Is that… wet paint? Why is he covered in wet paint?”
“Maybe he was painting something,” a third Dark said.
“He’s actually covered in the horn spunk of my recently reconciled husband,” Kevin growled.
They gaped at him.
“Godsdammit,” I muttered. “Did you have to say it like that?”
Kevin looked down at me. “But it’s true.”
“Well, yeah, but you didn’t have to tell them that. Come on, dude. I only have one chance to make a first impression.”
“Actually,” the fourth Dark said, “I met you once before already.”
I cocked my head at him. “You did? When was that?”
“At the restaurant that time you were on a date,” he explained. “The knight was your chaperone, even though you wanted to make love to him. And then you covered us in rock.”
“Oh gods,” the fifth Dark said. “Listen to this guy. Make love. Come on.”
“Hey! Just because you’re vulgar doesn’t mean I have to be.”
“Ohh,” I said. “Riiiiight. I remember that. Oh man, that seems like such a long time ago. How’ve you been?”
“Pretty good, I guess. You know. Taking over villages. Looting treasures. Not a bad life, if I’m being honest.”
“Cool, cool. So, not a first impression for you, but I think that whole thing in the restaurant was good, so. We’re square. As for the rest of you, well. Allow me to introduce myself.” I bowed. “My name is Sam of Dragons.”
“And I’m one of the dragons just previously mentioned,” Kevin said, snapping his teeth. “The handsomest one, in fact.”
“I think Pat would probably argue with you about that.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “She’s a lesbian. She can’t appreciate my fine male form.”
I frowned. “That doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to say.”
“I know. Please don’t tell her I said it. She scares me.”
“It’ll stay between us.” I glared at the Darks. “Right?”
“Right,” the Darks said.
The portly Dark said, “Sam of Dragons? That’s… okay, that’s actually pretty darn impressive. Dang it. I was hoping it’d be something dumb, and then we could all make fun of you and be like, oh, look at this dork. His name is so stupid.”
I nodded sympathetically. “Yeah. That might have been good if my wizarding name wasn’t so hard-core. Like, I mean. It’s Sam. Of Dragons, you know? You really can’t get much better than that. Especially since I actually have an actual dragon and you guys have… what.”
“I have a bo staff,” one of the Darks said, pulling said bo staff off his back.
“Wow,” I said. “That’s—that’s just nice.”
“Thanks. It’s actually a stick I found in the woods, but. It’s… big? I guess. So I tell people it’s a bo staff.”
“Do they believe it?”
Another Dark scoffed. “Not at all.”
“I like it, Brad. You don’t see me making fun of your stuff.”
“That’s because all of my stuff is great, Neil. I don’t go through the woods and say, oh what do you know, here’s a big stick I found on the ground and I’m going to take it with me and tell people it’s a bo staff.”
“Brad,” the portly Dark said. “We talked about this. Neil can do what he likes, because he earned it by locating the Resistance in Old Clearing and reporting it back to us. If he wants to use his reward to pick up a stick—excuse me, a bo staff—then that’s his right.”
“Thank you,” Neil said. “I’m getting better at it.” He attempted to twirl the stick but ended up hitting himself in the face. “Oops! Okay, it’s a work in progress, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s just swell.” I clapped my hands. “So! I’ve introduced myself. You’ve told me some things about you. Like, Neil and his bo staff. Or Brad being a jerk.”
“Hey!”
“And you’ve met my friend Kevin here,” I continued. “I think that’s pretty much all we need to know about each other. I guess that leaves just one more thing. A choice!”
The portly Dark frowned. “Choice?”
I nodded sagely. “Yes. A choice. You can either turn around and start running, and then keep on running until you are out of Verania where no one knows who you are. And you’ll need to promise to never harm another living soul ever again.”
“That sounds like a lot of work,” Neil said. “I mean, I get what you’re trying to say, but that’s so much running.”
“Yep,” I agreed. “It is. But it might be better than the alternative.”