“Tiggy smash if Sam be evil,” Tiggy announced.
“You better not smash me.”
“Tiggy smash,” he insisted.
“Ugh. Fine.”
Tiggy looked pleased.
“Stop looking at me like I’m going to go Dark right this second,” I snapped at Ryan.
He crossed his arms over his chest, looking put out. “How am I supposed to know what’s going to happen? I don’t even know where you were for the last year.”
“He’s mad at me,” I told Mama. “For the whole leaving thing.”
“I don’t blame him in the slightest,” Mama said. “I’m pretty pissed off at you, precious, though Randall did explain your quest. I have half a mind to kick your ass myself. I’m not surprised that your hunk of meat wants to murder you.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Ryan said, blushing slightly.
She smiled at him. “Remember when you used to call me Queen of the Fuck Palace? Those were the good old days.”
Ryan looked down at the ground as he scuffed a foot against the dirt. I was going to fucking ruin his butt later, he was so adorable.
“Great,” I muttered. “This is just swell. Thanks, Moishe. You bitch.”
Moishe continued to stare at me.
“Where’s Kevin?” Gary asked Randall. “I need him here to tell me how not-evil I am and how beautiful I look since no one else is telling me.”
“You look beautiful,” Randall said. “And Kevin has left us for the moment on an errand. He’ll return shortly. We have other matters to attend to.”
“Matters other than me? What could possibly—oh. Right. Saving the world. I guess I’ll allow it.”
“Mama,” Justin said, “what happened? Why are you here?”
“Letnia,” Mama said. “I do believe I’m overcome with emotion. If you please.”
Letnia blew out thick blue smoke, her cigar smoldering between her fingers. Her single eye darted unerringly around the room, taking each of us in one by one. She reached up and adjusted her eye patch before she pushed herself off the wall. “We were betrayed.”
The King sighed.
“One of the whores,” Letnia spat, “hedged his bets and decided to throw in with the Darks. Gave away plans. Told them where we were weakest. Old Clearing fell. I got Mama out, though she fought me on it.”
“I don’t run,” Mama said, tapping her foot dangerously. “My high heels don’t allow for it.”
Letnia snorted. “Actually, you do. Because we did. We had no other choice. Either we ran, or we got captured just like your courtesans.”
“Yes,” Mama said, lip curling. “That. They have taken from me. They took Meridian City. They took the Tilted Cross. But now they have taken my children, and I want revenge.” She glanced at the King before looking back to Justin. “You have rescued your father. Your kin. I am here to ask for your help to rescue mine.”
Justin hesitated. “We don’t have the resources to take back Meridian City. Not when the City of Lockes is so close.”
Mama wasn’t pleased with that answer. “So the people of the City of Lockes matter more than those in Meridian City?”
Oh boy. Justin should probably just stop now before he made it worse.
“Of course not! We have other priorities at the moment.”
And he made it worse.
“Other priorities,” Mama repeated, and I immediately started making plans for finding another heir to the throne, seeing as how this one was so dead. “Other priorities. I see. So what you’re saying is that we’re not royalty. We’re not in the King’s Court. We’re here for your army and your knights to spend their leave fucking and drinking and snorting up their noses whatever they can afford. Therefore, our plight doesn’t matter as much as yours. We’re the excess of Verania. We don’t matter.”
“Mama,” the King said, stepping in before his son could make things even worse, “of course you matter. As do the lives of your children. Justin has filled me in as much as time has allowed on the status of the Resistance. Much of our army has been defeated and enslaved. The Knights of Castle Lockes have mobilized here in Camp HaveHeart, but they too are few in number.”
She stared at him, not backing down. “How could you not have known this was coming? How could you not have known how large of a group they had amassed?”
“I’ve learned that the forces of evil often move in a silent majority,” the King admitted. “They are disillusioned and disenfranchised. They gather behind one who speaks to them, who promises them things that are absolutely unethical and illegal, not to mention impossible. And they listen, because they don’t know any better. These Darks, they’ve… lost their way. And not just because of the paths they took in magic. But because they spread. Like a disease, spreading false news about the Crown or its wizards.”
“So what do you expect to accomplish here?” Mama asked. “You have your knights. You have this camp. You are the Resistance.” She glanced at me before looking back at the King. “You have Sam. And if what I was told about the prophecy is true, that means he has the dragons.”
“We’re working on it,” Justin said. “Before we even knew Sam was coming back, we’d made plans to get my father out and to find Gary’s horn. We have two unicorns now, and Gary has his horn. Randall has returned and Sam is back. We’re better off than we were.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Mama said mildly, but no one seemed to be fooled by her tone. “You have all of these things. Now what?”
Justin looked at me beseechingly. And since he was my best friend 5eva, I knew that it was probably time to step in and help him.
“We have no idea,” I said.
Well, shit.
“Come again?” Mama asked, voice low.
Justin’s face was in his hands.
“Um,” I said. “Yes. I’m gonna need a do-over. Okay. So, you were being all intimidating and awesome and beautiful and saying things like ‘That shan’t be what’s happening, and you are welcome for being in my presence, now what are you going to do?’ And to that I say, we’re still working on it.” I frowned. “Dammit. Why do I always have to tell the truth when I’m trying to lie with reassuring platitudes?”
Gary snorted. It came out the brightest pink I’d ever seen. It was pretty.
“Sam so special,” Tiggy said.
Mama stared at me. “If what Moishe has said about you is true and if you truly do have as much magic as he seems to think, what’s stopping you from marching into the City of Lockes and taking it back yourself? Surely if you’re the one the gods have chosen, then now would be the time to actually do what you were chosen for. Hell, if you’re so godsdamn powerful, why can’t you just wish him away. Or dead. Preferably dead.”
I winced. “It doesn’t quite… work. Like that?”
“Precious, I am growing tired of your vagaries. I suggest you speak in specifics before I lose my temper. We both know what happens when I lose my temper.”
“Mama smash?” Tiggy asked.
“Yes, lovely,” she said. “Mama smash.”
I sighed. “I’m… volatile.”
She blinked. “So there was truth to what Moishe said.”
“No. I’m absolutely not going to turn Dark. Have you seen me? I’d be the worst villain. Like, ever.”
“But….”
I glanced at Ryan, who was staring at me with eyes narrowed. “Buuuut. There… might? Have been some truth. To the whole. Um. Magic thing. It’s… a lot. In me. Right now. In a short amount of time.”
“What Sam is trying and failing miserably to say,” Randall interjected, “is that a wizard takes decades to construct his magic. To build it up, to familiarize himself with it, to trust it and himself. Then, and only then, does he take the Trials. And even then, sometimes a wizard will fail and must go back to figure out where he went wrong so that he may try again.”
“But not Sam,” Mama said.
“Not Sam,” Randall agreed. “Sam is different. He always has been, much to my dismay.” That certainly didn’t make me feel any better. “But isn’t that what we’ve always said about him? Ever since he came to the castle, he’s always been different.”