Hoarded by the Dragon (Monstrous Matches, #4)

“But I care about me more,” he continues, and the breath leaves my lungs. “I’m sorry. This information is too valuable.” There’s a tinge of guilt squishing his brows together. “I’ll give you a five-minute head start.”

I don’t waste that time trying to convince him to do anything otherwise. Even if there’s a sliver of guilt in him, the gleam of greed in his gaze is too much to combat that.

Nemo walks out of my apartment, and instinctively I know it’s so I don’t hear the conversation he’s about to have.

“Head start my ass,” I mutter.

I run to the bedroom and unearth my bag, digging out my last portal charm. Luckily, I don’t need that five minutes.

Phone tampered with. I’ll come back when it’s safe. I text to Ben before pausing to add: I hope everyone is alright. Please take care of Griffin. I toss the device on my bed.

There’s a shriek of tires outside. I’ve run out of time. I break my second portal charm of the day with a destination in mind.

Anywhere is better than here.





38





KALOS





BEING LOST IS A DISQUIETING SENSATION. It’s not comfortable, but there’s no pain, no worry. There are only the primal urges. The joy of flight, of hunting prey, and of basking in the sun.

But even my dragon knows we’re missing something. Or rather, especially my dragon knows. He’s the one who mated our queen after all. We bred her while I was full of need, but he feels all the demands that I push down constantly.

The need for others. Family, community, a mate.

He feels the things I don’t want to. My worry for Katarina pales in comparison to his. My fear of loss is the same.

My dragon experiences the world in black and white. Joy and pain. And letting myself dwell in all the terrible possibilities that could happen to Katarina, my fears about the dragon fire prophecy and losing control, has caused so much confusion in our very being.

Our… Even in the state I’m in, I can’t bring myself to pull the pieces of myself back together again. The emotions of my dragon and my logical mind echo through each other.

But the soul witch is right.

We are not separate.

And I must go back. The throb of pain in my chest is hard to identify. I don’t want to identify it. I’ve spent years ignoring the sensations of my own emotions until they grew smaller and more distant. Until I could lock them away under the appearance of adapting to the modern world around me.

But I am not a modern creature, and the more determined I am to schism myself, the less I’m capable of giving my mate what she deserves.

Reconnection comes slowly and is searing in its pain. Stitch by stitch, I pull myself together. The wind against my wings, the fire brimming in my emotions. The job is patchwork without the soul witch to guide me, but it’s necessary. I focus on the yearning of my heart.

The pain I fight is the fear of losing Katarina, and it will be there no matter if I ignore my feelings for her or am successfully able to complete our mating bond.

I’d rather suffer every waking minute to hold her.

She is brightness, the prized jewel in my collection.

I have been a coward, pushing my nature down to the far reaches of my soul, hiding from myself.

No more. I am awake, and I must return.

I’m back through the portal and in the caverns without a thought. The scent of dragon fire and blackened stone snuffs out the scent of my mate. I can’t tell how long ago she was down here. Ben appears before me as I shift into my more human form. He tosses clothing at me without ceremony.

“How long?” My voice sounds raspy.

Ben’s expression is blank. “Three days.”

Worry brews in my chest at his neutral face. Other times we’ve done this same exact scene, but I would start with questioning him about the business and how it fared without me. Eventually I’d ask about him and Maggie. I assumed that if I kept them low priority, I could keep lying to myself about them being my family. As I assumed not having Moon in my life would separate me from extraneous feelings.

Not this time.

“Is Katarina alright?” I ask. My heart seizes when his expression falters, but I breathe through it.

“I don’t know. She’s no contact right now.”

He recounts the Leonid attack and a primal rage pumps in my veins. Katarina is in the wind, following some intuition from her fae blood. It was a wise choice.

If I had stayed here… it would have never happened, but I also wouldn’t feel as whole as I do now. I’m not fixed by any measure, but the discordant urges are gone. I’ve built a bridge between my competing selves and only time will tell what it can weather.

“Are there any casualties? Were you, Maggie, or Jensen hurt?” I ask.

Ben blinks in surprise at the question before answering.

“Jensen got hit in the head pretty bad and Maggie has been nursing him back to health.” Ben’s lips twitch. “I think he’s a hundred percent, but milking the situation. Maggie says he’ll be fine by tomorrow either way.”

“How do we find Katarina?” I ask. I need her to return. I need to apologize. Now that the pieces of myself are pulling together, the memory of her flinching from my callous words and cowering before my dragon fire sinks its claws in.

I lashed out at my mate and need to make amends. I need to protect her from those who would use her against me.

Ben winces. “The attack isn’t the only thing.”



I CLASP my fingers and gaze at Katarina’s best friend. Stella bites her lip but meets my eyes, looking for all the world like she’s a child in a principal’s office.

“I’m not sorry,” she says.

“I wouldn’t think you would be.” I glance at the fertility statue that she single handedly snatched back from her blood family. “This actually works very well for us, but Katarina will be displeased to hear that you put yourself at risk.”

Stella’s gaze grows steely. “I’ve always been powerless. Nothing I could ever do would put a dent in them. Not a single thing. I ignored the desire to hurt them all my life, but you gave me a way I could. It might be a small way, but it was something only I could do.”

My lips twitch. She means it literally. Only someone with her blood could walk into the compound and get it back.

“So, I’m not sorry,” she ends.

I nod. “Very well. We will have you stay here in the meantime in case they discover how they lost the statue. Your mother is welcome here as well.”

We may still have use for Stella’s fury before all this is said and done, but that plan isn’t my first resort. It would upset Katarina, and I’ll avoid that if we can.

Stella winces. “I sent my mom on vacation somewhere remote. We have some time before I need to worry about her.”

And before she needs to confess what she’s done. If she decides to confess. My reports listed their relationship as close, but no worthy parent would want their child to take on revenge on their behalf.

“Have you heard from Kat yet?” Stella asks.

“Not yet.” And that fact grows more unbearable by the minute.

Where are you, my queen?





39





KATARINA



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