Words that I haven’t let myself reflect on bubble out of me like the witch beside me can draw water from a dry well.
“I need him more than he needs me,” I say and blink away the quick moisture in my eyes. “And I’m not okay with that.”
Rose hums, but now that I’m voicing my worries, they don’t stop.
“He can just leave. And I’m…” I look down at my stomach, trying to not let the negative thoughts catch hold. From the very beginning, I’ve chosen to think of our daughter as a miracle rather than a mistake. I don’t want to ever say the word stuck about my situation either. Words have meaning.
But nothing changes the fact that my body—my life—has radically changed. I have a child to think about. I won’t ever abandon her, leaving because I’m in an emotional snit isn’t an option for me. I could give birth next week or next month.
I’m not alone—as her kicks into my lungs remind me—but I’m so much more vulnerable than Kalos will ever be. It’s not fair.
Rose reaches over and places her hand on my shoulder, her comfort and kindness acts as a centering balm in my sewer of dark thoughts.
“But you”—she emphasizes the word with a stern look—“hold all the cards. You have everything he wants. There is no leaving you without leaving a part of himself.”
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t keep his daughter from him—”
“You misunderstand,” Rose interjects softly. “You have his heart.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” I thought it was true before he left. That he was showing me how he felt about me through his actions. He asked me to stay.
She shrugs, her confidence unwavering. “A matchmaker knows these things.”
Do I have his heart? I lift my hand from the water to place on top of hers. “I think that even if I hold all the cards, it’s not going to make a difference if he’s avoiding pain. He’d be willing to make that sacrifice.”
He’s done it before, hasn’t he? Rose doesn’t deny my words, but they don’t negate hers either.
That stupid candle of hope sputters to life, but I’m half tempted to blow it out myself. It would save me more heartache.
But it would also cost me the life I want. I’d be doing the same thing I’m accusing him of.
“He may be willing to sacrifice his heart and happiness. Many beings will do that and more to avoid pain, but only time will tell if Kalos is one,” Rose says.
The sure tone of her voice causes my eyes to narrow. Kalos only started to believe that we could be mates after coming here. “You seem to know a lot about him.”
Rose smiles but stays silent. It only confirms my suspicion that she’s the soul witch Kalos has been working with.
“Fine, keep your secrets.” I roll my eyes.
And maybe I’ll leave a little room in my heart for hope.
“I’ll be fine without him,” I say, because the anxiety of his absence, of having to deal with this pregnancy alone, demands a solution. My heart may hurt, but I’m not trapped.
“Of course you will.” Rose raises a brow. “You’re resourceful, smart, and there are others who will help you with no questions asked.”
Others like her and Gage. Stella. Ben. Maggie.
A vibrating sound disrupts the moment and Rose sighs, aggrieved. “I should have left my phone at the front desk, but Gideon only lets me out of his sight if I have it on me.”
I swallow my envy at her mate’s protectiveness but smile.
“Go ahead. I won’t be offended if you answer,” I say.
Rose reads the screen, perking up. “It’s just a text. There’s a rumor that Kalos has returned.”
I push away from the wall and sit higher in the water. “He has?”
Rose nods, a considering expression passing over her face. “Would you like us to inform him of your whereabouts?”
This is the test, isn’t it? If I tell him where I am and he doesn’t come after me, doesn’t try and make up after our fight, then it’s all over for sure.
I’ll demand more from him of course. I’m worth more of his consideration. He has a dragonling to care for, and I do need him to channel heat energy for the rest of the pregnancy, but co-parenting and forced proximity doesn’t make a mating.
Do I give him the ability to hurt me again?
40
KALOS
“KALOS.” Ben looks up from his phone. He sits on the other side of the couch from Stella as we work to track down Katarina. So far it’s been casually calling allies, not asking about my mate, but leaving the line open for them to confess any details.
This quiet searching is something that I’d have done with no issue prior to reuniting with my dragon but now chafes. The plan to keep the people who know who Katarina is to me few is a logical one. Logical and slow.
And it feels wrong to my newly awakened instincts.
I want my mate and young in the arms of my embrace. I want to ensure their safety. I wish to trumpet to the rooftops what she means to me.
And to apologize for losing control.
“Yes? Have you found Katarina?” I ask.
Ben stiffens. “No, Lorenzo Leonid is calling. Do you want me to answer it?”
I taste dragon fire but gesture for him to pass me the phone.
“What could he possibly have to say?” Stella asks. She refused to leave us to our calls, reaching out to her own contacts in search of her friend.
Ben’s lips thin. “Nothing good.”
I silently agree with him. The Leonids have been a thorn in my side since this all began. I will have their blood on my talons one way or another. Their fate was sealed when they attacked the manor. They can only dig themselves deeper now.
I accept the call and place it on speakerphone. “What do you want, Lorenzo?”
His smug laugh is staticky and Ben and I share an annoyed look. He’s put a spell in place to scramble any attempt to record his words.
“Is that any way to greet another territory leader?” he asks.
“It is when that territory leader mounted an attack on my home.” I keep the words calm even as I burn on the inside.
“You would be hard-pressed to prove that we did any such thing. You weren’t there, and will the Council really listen to anything your employees say?”
I grit my teeth and don’t respond.
“I thought not,” he answers for me. “We never wanted to be enemies. You should have given us what we asked for and all this unpleasantness could have been avoided.”
“Does this call have a point?” I ask.
He doesn’t quite hide his snarl before his voice is smug again. “You seem to have misplaced something you’re attached to. A man’s legacy is worth any weight in gold, don’t you agree? It’s the future itself.”
Stella curses softly even as ice spreads through my spine.
“Speak plainly, you know we can’t record this call,” I bite out, wanting there to be no mistaking their meaning.
“We have your mate.” His words are sharp like he’s annoyed that I’m not allowing him to toy with me. “If you want her back, meet us at the northern fae gate with the appropriate magics to transfer ownership of it by seven p.m.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say, trying to get more information even as I want to roar and tear him to pieces.