“Eddie!” Feeling wild inside, she looked around, felt the steely grip of helplessness clench her. A few feet away, another drop of blood glistened darkly. Farther in, another footprint beckoned her to follow.
She broke into a run, then into an all-out sprint. Branches clawed at her face and clothes as she tore down the trail. Sounds choked from her throat, but she didn’t care. Her mind whirled with the possibility that she would find her little boy safe and alive and crying for her. Tears blurred her vision as she darted between two boulders and entered a copse of lodgepole pine. Hope and desperation churned and exploded inside her until she convinced herself she would reach her child any second, that she was so close she could smell his little-boy scent, hear his voice crying out to her.
“Kelly!”
She’d nearly forgotten about Buzz. For the first time she heard him behind her, breaking through the brush. She could hear the heavy pound of his footfalls against the earth, his labored breaths, the occasional curse….
An instant later, a heavy hand clamped over her shoulder. On instinct, she spun around, tried to jerk away. “Oh, God, Buzz! There was blood! On the bank! Oh, God!”
Buzz maintained a firm grip on her shoulders. “Take it easy, Kel.”
“I’ve got to find him. Let go of me!” She tried to twist away from him. “He needs me!”
“Calm down, damn it. Pull yourself together!”
She stared at him, aware that she’d lost control, that she didn’t have a clue why she was running or where she was going. “He’s crying for me,” she said.
“Kelly….”
“Let go of me. I need to find him. Don’t try to stop me.”
“Easy. Just…Jesus, Kel, take it easy.”
“Let go of me!”
“I want you to calm down. Take a deep breath for—“
“I’ve got to find him,” she cried. “He’s nearby. I can feel it.”
“Kelly! Damn it.”
Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she’d lost it. That she’d slipped down that slippery slope into hysteria and was tumbling headlong into a place she didn’t want to go. She knew it was going to cost her credibility. The logical side of her brain knew it was foolish to fight him; she knew Buzz was only trying to help. Intellectually, she knew all of those things. But terror and panic and a mother’s desperation overwhelmed logic. Something inside her brain shorted out and all she felt was the primal need to find what was precious.
“Let go of me!” She lashed out with her fists, but Buzz was ready and deflected the blows. “Please, he needs me.”
“Stop it.” He shook her hard enough to make her head snap back.
Angry now, she put her weight into it and shoved him. She might as well have been shoving at a mountain because he didn’t budge.
“Kel, pull yourself together.”
She stepped back, trying to dislodge his hands, but the heel of her boot caught on a fallen log behind her. She stumbled. Her arms shot forward as she fell back, her hand snagging the sleeve of Buzz’s jacket.
“What the—” His sock caught on the same log, and they went down in a tangle of arms and legs.
Kelly landed on her back atop a cushion of pine needles and prickly tufts of buffalo grass. Muttering a curse, Buzz came down on top of her, breaking his fall with his arms on either side of her. An instant later, she was staring into gray eyes set into the hardened planes of a face that was at once troubled and concerned. In the back of her mind, she was aware of heavy breathing. She could feel a heart raging, but he was so close she couldn’t tell if it was his or hers. Her legs were drawn up slightly and her knees were apart. Somehow, Buzz had managed to land between her legs.
Something in the way he looked at her snapped her back. She blinked, shook herself. A breath shuddered out of her. Slowly, she became aware of him pressed intimately against her. His solid weight was strong and reassuring and achingly familiar. The panic that had exploded out of control a moment earlier faltered, then retreated, a formidable army temporarily defeated.
In its place, a new awareness zinged like a hot bullet. She told herself it wasn’t possible to feel anything but fear and desperation and pain when her son was missing and in danger. She tried desperately to deny the slow spiral of warmth that crept past the ice that gripped her. Finding Eddie was the only thing that mattered. But the familiar press of Buzz’s body against hers banished the last vestiges of panic, reminded her that while she might be afraid, she was still alive. She was still human, still a woman—and she hadn’t been held for a very long time.
The power of the moment stunned her. His closeness, the warmth of his body, the scent that was uniquely his made her realize that she was still vulnerable to him. And that no matter how badly she’d wanted to believe it, she hadn’t gotten this man out of her system in the time they’d been apart.
Chapter 5