Pain eviscerates my heart and punches me in the lungs, and I struggle to breathe. For a while there, I’d actually managed to forget about Dillon.
“Fuck.” Reeve gently grips my arms. “I’ve got you, Viv. Breathe in and out. Nice and slow.” He breathes with me until I’ve regained my composure. His eyes lower to my collarbone, and his face pales. “Did he buy you that?” he asks, and I glance down, only now realizing my fingers are stroking my Claddagh necklace. I nod, and he squeezes his eyes shut.
The car glides to a halt, and when his eyes pop open, they are full of pain. I should probably feel some modicum of pleasure to have inflicted even an ounce of the agony he inflicted on me, but I get no joy out of seeing him hurt. “Do you love him?” he whispers, piercing me with an anguished look.
I’m not going to hide anything, and I have done nothing wrong. “Yes.”
He buries his head in his hands, and the urge to comfort him is riding me hard, but I don’t move a muscle. After a couple minutes of awkward silence, he lifts his head, spearing me with fearful blue eyes. “Do you still love me?”
“Yes. I do. I love you.”
Relief floods his face. “I can work with that.”
“Reeve…”
“I know, Viv. You don’t need to say it. I know you, remember?”
Taking my hand, he helps me out of the car, and I let him hold me as we take the elevator to the top of his apartment building.
“I got the penthouse, but it’s not huge. At least, not compared to where we both grew up.” Taking his keys out of his pocket, he opens the door.
“I lived in a penthouse in Dublin, and I actually loved that it was smaller. Much easier to clean.”
“I can’t wait to hear about your trip. What is Ireland like?” he asks, pulling me into a large bright open living space. On the right is a massive kitchen with white cabinets, stainless-steel appliances, and dappled white-and-gray-marble countertops. A matching island unit separates the kitchen from the dining table, and beyond that is the living room.
“It was amazing. I’ll tell you all about it, but wow. This view is to die for.” I march past the gray leather sectional toward the far window. All the windows in this space are floor-to-ceiling windows offering incredible views of the Pacific Ocean in the near distance.
“I bought this place for the view,” he states, coming to stand alongside me. “I probably should’ve bought a place in Beverly Hills or West Hollywood to be closer to the studios, but I wanted to be near the ocean. Now that I’m clean and sober I’ve taken up running again, and I jog every morning at five a.m. down at Santa Monica Pier.”
“Clean and sober?” I inquire, looking sideways at him.
“I attended an outpatient rehab clinic for a couple months to wean myself off all the shit I was doing. I saw a therapist there too.”
“It was that bad? Why didn’t I see it?”
“It was hella bad after that photo surfaced. I reached a real low point, but ultimately, it was a turning point. It was at that juncture I decided to turn my life around. As for why you didn’t see it—I didn’t want you to see it, Viv. And, before you ask, I didn’t do much shit when I was with you. I didn’t need to.” He softens his voice, brushing his fingers across my cheek. “You’re the only drug I need.”
“No drug is healthy, Reeve. They’re all addictive and damaging to your health.”
“Except you. You were always good for me. I was a fucking fool to have vented my frustration at you instead of confiding in you and letting you help me make the right decisions. I’ve grown up a lot these past few months. I missed you like crazy.” He traps my face in his palms. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Vivien. I have missed your gorgeous face.”
Staring into Reeve’s handsome face, being back in L.A. with him, I realize I’ve really missed him too.
“Do you think you can ever forgive me?”
I circle my hands around his wrists. “I already have.” He arches a brow, looking shocked. “I needed to forgive you to heal. I saw a therapist in Ireland, and she helped me to that realization. I know you didn’t intentionally set out to hurt me, Reeve. I’m angry you made so many stupid decisions. I’m mad you turned to drugs and that bitch instead of me, but hearing your explanation helps me to understand it a little better.”
He moves to kiss me, and I jerk back out of his hold, raising a hand. “That doesn’t magically solve everything. You still betrayed me, and that’s not something I can forget in a hurry. Earning my trust again will not be easy, and I can’t promise you anything, Reeve. You don’t own my full heart anymore, and I’m a bit of a hot mess now, in case you didn’t notice.”
“I know I have a lot to do to prove my intentions are true. I need to work hard to regain your trust, but I’m going to do it. I’ve already set things in motion, and I won’t stop until I’ve got you back.” He closes the gap between us again, gently pulling me into his arms. “I can’t exist in this world without you, Vivien Grace Mills. I’ve tried, and it’s not worth living if you aren’t there by my side.”
Romantic Reeve may yet be the death of me.
My tummy rumbles, saving my bacon.
“You must be tired, and you’re clearly hungry. Sit. Let me make you something to eat.”
“I got some sleep on the plane, but I didn’t eat much.” I couldn’t stomach food, but I feel like I could eat now. “I need to stay awake to reset my body clock,” I say, stifling a yawn. “That will be challenging.”
I randomly scroll through the TV, flicking through channels, while Reeve putters around in the kitchen. Twenty minutes later, we are enjoying gorgeous spicy chicken wraps from the decent-sized balcony off to one side of his apartment. My nostrils twitch, and I soak up the sun and the hint of salty sea air. “California sun, oh, how I’ve missed you.” I lean back in my chair, patting my full stomach.
“You are looking a little pasty,” Reeve quips, and I flip him the bird. “I’m really glad you’re home,” he quietly adds, his adoring gaze raking over me. “You look good, Viv.”
“I am good.” It’s not really a lie. Setting my newly rebroken heart aside, I am in a good place.
“I love seeing you here. I knew when I was buying this place you’d love it. And wait until you see the properties I’ve earmarked for our forever house. They will blow your mind. Did you even look at the architect plans before you returned your birthday gift?” The words fly from his mouth with urgency.
“Reeve, enough with the heavy. Please. I’ve had the most horrendous forty-eight hours. Can’t we just chat and catch up?”
His crestfallen face confirms he’s disappointed, but surely, he can’t expect me to get off the plane and fall straight back into his arms?
“I know I’m getting carried away, but I’ve been waiting for a chance to start making it up to you for months, and I’m a little anxious.”
It’s hard to remain immune to those words. “I understand, and I like that you’re trying to make amends. It reminds me you’re still you, but I just got off a plane, Reeve, and I’m tired and emotional.”
“Of course. I won’t overburden you, but I do need to fill you in on the Bianca, Cassidy, Saffron situation, as well as what I’ve been doing this summer.”
“So, fill me in.” I drink some of my sparkling water.
“I know your parents hired a PI to find those girls who attacked you, but he was making no leeway. I found a guy who specializes in these kinds of investigations, and I worked closely with him until we had enough paperwork to tie most everything to Bianca and Cassidy.”
I remember Audrey mentioning this guy too. “Not Saffron?”
“She was most definitely involved, but I can’t go after her without hard evidence, and we don’t have that yet. She’s a sneaky bitch. She got others to do her dirty work, so there’s no footprint. I’ve spoken to the assistant director she was dating, and he’s pretty sure she sabotaged the footage the night before our prom, but he has no way of proving it. He actually dumped her after that though she pretended she was the one who ended things.”