I don’t stop him either when he removes my clothes and his own, lying me down flat on the couch, kissing and touching me everywhere, helping to remind me that what we share is a love that will never die. His lips blaze a trail from my mouth to my neck, and he sucks on that sensitive spot just under my ear. Blissful tremors shake me to my foundation, and there is no thinking, just feeling, as I immerse myself in the pleasurable sensations Reeve is awakening in me. My hands roam his body, reacquainting me with every inch of his skin.
When his mouth closes over one nipple, I arch my back, almost falling off the couch as I feel a pull deep in my core. My body reacts instantly to Reeve’s touch as if my skin has memorized the sensory response when he caresses me in certain places. He worships every part of me with his lips and his fingers as I slide a hand between us, grabbing his hard length and pumping him in my hand. He moans into my mouth, whispering my name over and over as he molds my body to fit to his.
His fingers slip inside me, finding me ready and willing, and there’s no hesitation. Lifting my hands up over my head, Reeve presses his body down on mine, linking our fingers as he claims my mouth in a passionate kiss. “I love you, Viv. Over everything and everyone. The only thing that matters to me is you. You have my heart for now and eternity.” My thighs open for him, and our eyes remain connected as he inches inside me with tender care. “God, Viv.” Tears prick his eyes, and I dust kisses all over his face.
“Let me feel your love, Reeve. Show me you mean everything you’ve said today.”
He kisses me senseless while he moves his cock in and out of me. My legs wrap around his back, and my hands roam his spine and his firm ass, holding him close as he pivots his hips, thrusting deeper inside me, until it feels like he’s buried so deep he’s a part of me. We kiss and kiss, both of us as greedy as the other, and I moan as his fingers fondle my breasts and sweep along my sides, eliciting a rake of fiery shivers every place he touches.
Lost to the incredible intimacy of being with Reeve like this, I feel a sense of inner calm, inner peace, that can only come when two people know each other as well as we do. Reeve is my home, as I am his. So much of who I am is entwined in Reeve, and he reminds me of the parts I haven’t visited in months, connecting me to elements of myself I had locked away along with memories of us.
As he thrusts inside me, making slow passionate love to me, I realize what this means. I’m irrevocably in love with Reeve, and our connection is still very much alive. I don’t know what this means for our future, but I know I need him back in my life, in some guise, because I miss him. I miss this.
We come together, and it breaks me apart and heals me at the same time. As we descend from our high, we curl against one another, skin to skin, with my head buried in his shoulder. My fingers trace over the heart-shaped tattoo on his chest with my name inside. I still can’t believe he got this for me because he’s always been adamant he didn’t want any ink. Thinking of ink naturally leads me to thoughts of Dillon. Reality hits, and I’m crying before I realize it.
My heart and soul forever belong to two men.
It’s an irrefutable truth that won’t ever change.
Reeve is the air I breathe.
Dillon is the fire that consumes me.
How am I expected to live without a part of my heart?
I don’t know what this means for my future or where I go from here, but I can’t deny the truth any longer—I’m deeply in love with two men, and I’m a hot mess because I have no clue what to do.
Reeve kisses every tear, giving assurances, whispering how much he loves me, promising me it is going to be all right. I sob into his shoulder, clutching him to me, hating myself for what I’ve just done, because it feels like such a betrayal so soon after leaving Dillon, while another part of me desperately clings to the man I have loved my entire life, never wanting to be separated from him again.
My emotions veer back and forth, going round and round, until I literally make myself ill from trying to work out the complex machinations of my heart. Nausea swims up my throat, and I race to the bathroom, vomiting the entire contents of my stomach.
Reeve comforts me as I retch and cry until I’m physically and emotionally drained. He passes me a toothbrush to use while propping me up before he carries me back out to the living room and plies me with water. He cradles me protectively in his arms as I cling to him like a limpet. I’m all cried out and no closer to knowing what I’m going to do with my love life. Reeve doesn’t pressure me to talk. He just holds me for an indeterminable amount of time.
After a while, he helps me into my underwear while he pulls on his boxers. He carries me outside to the balcony, placing my feet on the ground. Pulling me back against his chest, we hold one another as we stare at the placid ocean. His arm bands around my bare breasts, shielding me. He dots kisses along my neck, and I arch my head back, both loving and hating how much his arms feel like home. Like I belong here and this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
“I know you’re upset, and I can guess why. I’m not going to lie and say I’m happy you love this Irish guy, but it’s my fault you were even there in the first place, so I’ve got to man up and accept the situation.” He spins me around, hauling me in close as his lips brush softly against mine. “He’s not here, Viv. I am. And I’m all yours in every sense of the word. I won’t be making any decisions about my career without your involvement. Everything I do from here on out will be done placing your needs above mine. I know you need time, and I’ll give you that, but please say you’ll give us another chance. If we try and you say it’s not working for you, it will kill me, but I’ll walk away. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, because that is the only thing that matters to me anymore. You are my entire world, Viv, and I won’t stop until I have proven that to you.”
63
Five+ Years Later
Staring out the window of my home-office-slash-library, I smile as I watch Easton’s brown head bob excitedly when his dad lifts him up onto the top of the slide. Pure exhilaration is etched upon his handsome little face as he shoots down the slide. He grows more and more like Reeve with every passing day. I can’t believe he will be five in May.
Smoothing my hand over my small bump, I hum to my little princess, awash with happiness. Family life with Reeve is everything I had hoped it would be and more. Being married to the man who has been my significant other, in so many ways, from my earliest memory, is equally fulfilling.
Reeve and Easton are my world, and I know my daughter will be too. Okay, we don’t know if it’s a girl yet, but I have a sixth sense. I just feel it in my bones. We have our sixteen-week ultrasound in three weeks, and Reeve is more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.
I stare adoringly at my husband as he chases our son around the playground, more in love with Reeve now than I’ve ever been. As a dad, Reeve is everything his father isn’t, and I know he never wants Easton to doubt he is wanted, loved, and cherished. Easton is the apple of his father’s eye, and Reeve is the most amazing dad, showering Easton with love and being there for all the important moments, unlike his own absent father.
Watching them together is beautiful, and I’m so grateful for the love we share. I will never take it for granted.
My cell vibrates with an incoming call, and I rush around my desk, swiping the screen to accept Audrey’s video call. I’ve been calling her all week since I discovered the news, needing my bestie’s advice.
Alex and Audrey got married two years ago, and they live in Boston where Alex is the head football coach at a local high school. I’m hoping they might return to L.A. once Audrey graduates next year because I miss her a lot. She is in her last year of med school and snowed under with hospital rotations, classes, and assignments. With the time difference and our busy schedules, it is murder trying to find time to talk, let alone meet up.
“Squee. I see a bump! Look how cute you are,” she says. Her gorgeous face looms large as she peers in close to the screen.