Yes, go ahead. I’m OK if you eat while we talk. Don’t be shy about that. I promise that you have never tasted a pastelito like this. Right? It’s good!
I wanted to thank you for calling and letting me know that you are still trying to fight for an extension of benefits for me. If that can happen, I appreciate it very much. With the money of La Vieja Caridad and the small loan ángela made for me, I have been able to manage. I also have sold some cakes to friends. Patricia, because she is a good woman, pays half of my rent because Lulú lives with me and takes care of the children every day. I take care of the children more than Lulú because she has no patience, but, like I said, we manage. And thank you for taking Tita for this program. At least for a few months she does not have to work for that terrible lady.
Living together with Lulú? It’s OK, yes. But Lulú spends two hours in the bathroom. What does she do in there, I don’t understand. She does not wash the dishes like me. Always a little bit of grease left. But I don’t judge. We are different in this way.
ángela? Yes, she lives in Shirley, in Long Island. No Dominicans there. Hernán drives to work in the hospital every day. It’s crazy, all that driving, but on Fridays he takes me, and sometimes Lulú too, in the car with him to their house, and I will confess, don’t tell ángela because she will make me crazy saying she was right, but now with the good weather, to have a big patio to barbecue is very relaxing. In five minutes you can go to the beach. A little boring because nobody plays music, full of blanquitos, but ángela is happy. The children are happy.
But I also want to tell you the incredible thing that happened. Remember Sabrina? You know, the girl I saw kissing with the friend in the stairs? With the Catholic uniform? On the day of the mothers, not the American one, the Dominican one, I was about to take the elevator and Sabrina and her mother were coming out. Of course, Sabrina was terrified when she saw me.
But then it was her mother that said something that shocked me.
While I was away doing my mandaos, she saw Fernando on Channel 15. He was in the lobby. Our lobby!
She said, You must be so happy to have Fernando back in your life.
Imagine my heart.
Wait. What? Where did you see him?
In the lobby!
You sure it was Fernando?
It was Fernando, she said. He was in the lobby.
You saw it on Channel 15?
Cien por ciento Fernando.
When I arrived to the apartment, I found a food delivery hanging on the door. You’re not going to believe this! It was a delivery of chicken wings—?ay! I love chicken wings!—with rice and beans, and ensalada de aguacate and tostones with the garlic on the side. All my favorites. With a note from Fernando: Mamá, Feliz Día de las Madres. Tu hijo, Fernando.
Could you imagine my heart when I saw his note? Of course, it was Alexis who told him to reach me.
It reminds me how every time I trust my sensation everything goes OK. This is why I am here today because this morning I thought about you and I felt to make you pastelitos. I didn’t ask why. I just followed my sensation in my corazón and came to you. Like Walter Mercado taught me. Like Alicia the Psychic said in one of her letters: The time to be courageous is now. Like La Vieja Caridad said, Don’t live with regrets. Be present. Trust yourself. That is why I am here. Talking to you, all these weeks, has been very good for me. I have learned a lot. Talking reminds me that no matter how difficult my life is, I have always found a solution to my problems. When I think about this, I am not afraid. We can do this. I can do it.
Write this down: Cara Romero is still here, entera.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is set during the Great Recession in New York City, a time when many community members lost their jobs and weren’t able to secure long-term employment. I would like to thank everyone who shared their stories about the challenges they faced trying to find steady income and raise their children.
I am grateful to my comadres and friends who read and/or listened to pages from the book and asked questions, shared articles, and offered feedback throughout the years. Thank you to everyone who volunteered to care for my son so I could carve out time to write. I am especially grateful to Armando Garcia, Carolina de Robertis, Dawn Lundy Martin, Idra Novey, Laylah Ali, Lissette J. Norman, Marlène Ramírez-Cancio, Marta Lucía Vargas, Milenna van Dijk, Nelly Rosario, Emily Raboteau, and Tanya Shirazi.
To my editor, Caroline Bleeke, and agent, Dara Hyde, who lovingly read and reread many drafts. To the teams at Flatiron and Hill Nadell Literary Agency, who offered insightful notes. To Blue Mountain Center, The Lighthouse Works, and Yaddo for the gift of time and space.
To the Cruz, Gomez, and Piscitelli family for supporting my writing life in countless ways. Especially to my mother, Dania, who taught me so much about the importance of taking care of each other.
Thank you to my son, Daniel Andres Piscitelli-Cruz, for his patience and his significant editorial contributions. I love you so much!
It takes a village. Punto final.