ángela’s tears came, fast and loud. It looked like she was having a heart attack. She pressed one hand on her chest like it hurt. The other hand grabbed my shoulder.
Breathe with me, I said. I took long, deep breaths until ángela started breathing with me. This I learned from La Vieja Caridad, who always reminds me of the power of the breath.
Breathe in belly.
Breathe in chest.
Breathe out. It helps.
You’re OK, I said. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight like I know how to do. Her tears everywhere, my shirt and neck. You can imagine my fountain too.
Here, Lulú said, giving us Kleenex.
Hernán told everybody that the show was finished.
And it was strange, but I started to laugh. But laugh! And then she laughed too. So loud and hard. It felt like all the windows and doors were opened inside of us.
I tell you: ángela se desahogó. In front of everybody.
* * *
Yes, I need some water because today I have to tell you many things.
OK, last week, after I left here, I received an email from Alicia the Psychic. She said, Carabonita, the time has arrived. I looked in my calendar, and she remembered the date! She had performed the Galactic Triangulum Magnetization ritual that she promised me to do if I sent her $79. I know I said I do not send her the money, but she made less the price especially for me. Usually it’s $159. But for me half. It was necessary to guarantee my fortune. And she did not lie, because in the email she told me that she had received three very clear visions for me.
One was of me walking down the street and holding money in my hand.
Two was of me in a table full of people and I was holding a check with my name for $14,000.
Three was of me sitting by the water with someone. And in the vision, I say: I have never felt so happy like I am now.
She said, Carabonita, pay attention. In the next three weeks you will receive your fortune. Say yes to success! Say yes to wealth beyond your wildest dreams! Say yes to happiness!
If I needed to call her for further explanation it was $4.99 for the first minute and $0.99 for each additional minute. But do not worry, I will not call. Mission number one is to save my apartment. For this I need $3,091, plus my rent for next month. So every penny I can save, I save. ángela and Hernán told me, if necessary, they can get a small loan so I do not lose the apartment. But I do not have money to pay the loan, so I need to find a real solution. The good news is that I was right to trust in Alicia the Psychic because, just like her vision, I was walking down the street and, yes, I was holding dollars.
Let me explain.
This weekend I went to the post office with Lulú to mail my application for my papers to become a citizen and take the official exam. Yes, I know, finally I do this because I do not want ángela to worry about me. It is also important because ángela is correct, we have to be extra careful. With the computers, they catch everybody.
For example, look what happened to Do?a Altagracia. She went to visit the daughter and the grandchildren and stayed only for a few months in the Dominican Republic. When she returned, she went to the office of the government to continue the benefits. The man in the office asked for a photo identification. Do?a Altagracia showed her passport. Big mistake. He reported that she went out of the country while she was collecting the benefits, and now they make her pay for the three months she received the cupones. Can you believe that? Look, Do?a Altagracia worked in the factory until she was seventy years old. Seventy! In this point of her life, it is better than any pill for her to be around people who love her and will take care of her. The winter is difficult for old people. It’s medicina to feel the heat of that sun. I don’t know. Does the government prefer that she gets sick and dies from loneliness? Ends up sola in a bed in some facility?
And then I ask myself why would the man in the government office report her? What kind of people are these? He can choose to not look to the trips in the passport. If that was my job, I would be blind to all the old people, so they can live their last days with less stress. But no. He stopped Do?a Altagracia’s benefits, and she has to pay three months of cupones from the time she was outside the country. Like somebody who qualifies for the benefits has the money to pay that bill.
Before computers, people had more flexibility. Now we have to be very careful. The computers know everything about us. In the airport they scan the eyes and the fingers y quién sabe what else. Everything is documented.
So yes, I sent the application, and I made an appointment to do the civic exam. So it’s official. I’m going to become American. Now when we drink wine, Lulú practices with me the exam for the citizenship because there is one hundred questions. One hundred! I only have to know ten, but they don’t tell you what ten. Lulú said that I only need to get six correct.
It’s easy, she said. Common sense. Any person who can count one, two, three can pass. But tell me you, what is common sense about a question like this? I have the book here, listen:
What is the rule of law?
1. Everyone must follow the law.
2. Leaders must obey the law.
3. The government must obey the law.
4. No one is above the law.
Do you know the answer? You have to think about it, yes or no? It’s not so common sense, the way Lulú told me.
Lulú gets frustrated with me. She is like, Cara, just answer the questions!
I told her I read the Constitution: We the people. Think about it. We the people. Who are these people? It’s not me. It’s not you. The day we become inconvenient, this government will find a way to throw us out.
Maybe El Obama is different. I am optimista. When he says, this is our moment, this is our time, I think maybe because he is the son of an immigrant he understands the situation. Honestamente, when he became the president I felt it right here, on my chest. I felt light, less scared of the future for us. So it’s easier to breathe now. Maybe he will stop the killing of immigrants at the border.
Lulú says gracias a Dios the test is multiple choice because with my mouth I would never get my papers. Honestly, applying for the citizenship feels a little bit like treason. It will not be easy to say I am American, because when someone says American they don’t imagine me.
Why? You know why? Because I have an accent. I look dominicana. Do you feel American?
Yes. Interesting.
I don’t know, I think to get the papers is like marrying someone who has no feelings for me. But also sometimes getting married has benefits.
Who knows? If God wants it, I am going to be American.
So, yes, I will study hard to pass the test. I don’t want to be like my neighbor Fedora, who took the exam three times. Three! But, between you and me, Fedora is not so intelligent. You know why I say this? She did not vote for El Obama. When I discovered this, I decided to treat her nice—we exchange some dishes—but I understand she is different than me.
With the papers I can vote. To me this is important because there are many people like Fedora who make the wrong choice. With the papers, if Mamá dies—I am not trying to curse her with this thought, but if she does happen to die—maybe I can solicit the papers for Papá so that he can come to live with us and his grandchildren. But the biggest benefit, and this I’m sure you know already, is that I qualify for a job with the government. So someday I can be like you. What do you think about that? Are you laughing at me? Ah, you’re smiling because I am smiling. Ha! But it’s true, right? All I need is a high school diploma.
* * *