Let me explain. I am good with babies. When Yadiresela was born, ángela was not ready to have children. But Hernán wanted the children. Many children. If it was his decision, they would have a baseball team. He had ten years more than ángela and he was ready to start a family. She wanted to study and to be a professional. She wanted to make money for her house. She did not want to go pa’trás como el cangrejo like many married women. She wanted to progress. She would talk about how the scientists make proof that the people who make benefit from marriage are the men. The wife die early and get sick, she said. The husband, the opposite.
If it wasn’t for Hernán being so good and persistent, ángela would have not married. It’s like he said to ángela, Let me be your wife.
So of course, even though he sweats la gota gorda working in the hospital, when Yadiresela was born Hernán gave her food, changed the diaper, and put her to sleep almost every day. This, even when ángela took some months off from work to dique take care of the baby. And ángela knows how to cook, but she says, Ay, Hernán, I like it better how you do it. Then she plays with his ear and rubs his back and, just like La Vieja Caridad ’s dog, Fidel, he turns over, shows his belly, and that’s it, he gives in to her.
But Yadiresela was not an easy baby. And Hernán was good, but not a mother. She cried constantly. Every day from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. Yadiresela cried. A good time too, because it was exactly when I finished doing work in the factory. The van left me home at 3:50 p.m. I had ten minutes to change my clothes and, like a clock, Yadiresla would cry—but cry!
She was born soon after Fernando left. So when she cried I felt the crying inside of me. So I carried Yadiresela like I carried Fernando. The crying was too much for ángela. The minute I arrived ángela gave me the baby and go into her room to sleep. If it was her decision, she would go back to work in the office immediately, but Hernán didn’t want the baby to be with strange people all day. Not when she was so little. In the night, ángela wanted to continue to go to the school.
So, for Hernán, it’s good I was in the building to help them. It’s good that we live like we have one house together, in two different apartments. When I stayed with Yadiresela, I turned on the public TV to the documentaries because they are relaxing. I learn a lot. One of them was about babies in Brazil that were abandoned by their mothers. You know this one? No? Ah. To make the baby more calm, the women take off their shirt and put the baby touching their skin. So when Yadiresela cried, I made her naked and put her inside my blusa. It made her stop crying every time. This is why Hernán has a soft spot for me. Because for many, many months I bring the silence to the house. I needed the silence too.
The skin on the skin method worked.
Write that down: Cara Romero is good with the children.
Even with difficult babies like Yadiresela. But I controlled her behavior so good that now when she finish eating, she wash her plate. She is so intelligent, the teacher moved her from fifth grade to sixth grade in the middle of the year. All these good things I did without ángela’s books.
Yes, ángela has a mountain of books from the library. Dique to be a better mother, but what she means is a better mother than me. She thinks I give pelas to her children. But I never give pelas to her children. Only pao-pao on their hand when they don’t listen. And sometimes a little slap in the leg with my hand. Never a pela.
When Fernando left and didn’t come back, ángela became nervous that maybe her children will abandon her too. She said, We can’t make the same mistake of our mother. But we are not like Mamá, who was very cold. She never hugged us or told us that she loved us. We tell our children we love them and hug them all the time.
You have to understand: ángela, even if she wanted to, can’t hire a babysitter because it’s too much money. So we try to resolver. Since I lost my job in the factory, I have more responsibilities with the children. I help to make food for them, pick up Yadiresela in the bus stop, pick up Milagros in the day care. Before I lost my job, they had to pay $10 an hour to la vecina to do many of these things. But la vecina did not also cook the children dinner, wash their clothes, and clean the apartment.
Do they pay me money now? No. They give me some money to buy la compra and to pay for my utilities. That’s OK, because we are family and I love the children.
What I’m trying to tell you is that the American children get traumatized more easy than us.
* * *
Ah, OK. Yes. I will tell you what happened so you can understand. You know Lulú has to take care of her grandchildren, and for me it’s easy to take care of the babies and cook for everybody, but for Lulú, not so much. So I have to help her. Taking care of the children has destroyed Lulú. Destroyed! So I invite her to my apartment with the babies. And it’s good because ángela wants Milagros to have playdates with other children, like Lulú’s grandchildren. They are very intelligent because they are from Brooklyn. And ángela loves Brooklyn. She says playdates help develop emotional intelligence. So Lulú and I put the children together and see them become more intelligent while we drink wine.
But Julio, who is five, cannot play with the babies. He is a tsunami because, when he pulls Yadiresela’s hair, ángela doesn’t give him a chancletazo. She takes a deep breath, touches his shoulders, looks him in the eyes, and says: Julio, it is not nice to pull your sister’s hair.
Of course, Julio knows it’s not nice. Julio was born not nice. He likes to bite. He likes to hit. He was born making the trouble. Some children have this character. They are born like that. Punto final.
But ángela tries to do like the Behavior Management Plan in this application. She does the redirection.
Julio, let’s choose another way to get your sister’s attention. Julio, let’s not hit your sister. Julio, we are all friends.
You know what happens next? Julio pulls Yadiresela’s hair even more hard!
And then—?el colmo!—ángela tries dique to stay calm and says, Julio, if you don’t say sorry to your sister, I’ll give you a time-out.
A time-out!
You know what happens? Julio does not say sorry. Then, ángela sits him in a chair in another room and says, Julio, you can’t get up until you understand what you did wrong.
Pfft!
She talks to Julio like he has the capacity to control himself. Not even his pipí he controls. My son, Fernando, never dared to make pee in the bed the way Julio does. At five years old, Julio makes pee in the bed every night! Mira, I would spank that mala costumbre out of him. It would only take one good spank in the nalga, not hard—he won’t even remember when he is an adult. Just enough so he knows to respect and not to pee in the bed. If ángela would let me discipline Julio, he would be a good boy and do what we say, like Yadiresela.
* * *
So yes, last week I thought, Maybe I already have a day care except I don’t get paid. So to have a day care in my apartment would be a good job for me. But Julio tested my patience.
No, nothing. Listen to me, everything was OK. The babies were becoming more intelligent together, Yadiresela was doing her work for the school on the sofá. Julio was playing with his dolls of superheroes. I put the dinner of spaghetti with tomato sauce on the table. I went to the kitchen for one minute, one minute, and Julio, I don’t know why, took the plate of spaghetti and threw it on top of the babies.
Lulú screamed. The babies cried. Yadiresela yelled, ?Tía!
I ran from the kitchen, and you won’t believe it—spaghetti sauce everywhere: on Lulú’s shirt, all over the babies, on Julio’s hands.
Immediately we checked the babies. They were OK, because I always rinse the pasta with cold water, so it’s never too hot. And the sauce was at the temperature of the room. Gracias a Dios.