The letter made me think of all the women, like me, that escape from men who are so crazy that in the middle of the night they chop the leg of another man. I had no secret money to hide when I left Ricardo. He didn’t even have enough money to put gasoline in the moto. I left Hato Mayor with nothing, only Fernando and two or three things. But what I am trying to say is that a butcher and a prince have more in common when they are angry.
No, I didn’t send the Nigerian woman money. I don’t have the money. But I almost told her that I understand her life because I had to run too.
It’s better to not respond. Because sometimes if you open the door a little, the people move inside your apartment. You know what I mean?
* * *
La Vieja Caridad says I can make a good security guard. What do you think? And maybe I can be a guard in a school, because I’m so good to keep the children secure.
Like the other day. ángela and I were walking with Yadiresela on Broadway. ángela wants me to become a citizen because now the green card is like a tourist visa. We had many stops to make. The library. The photo studio to take a photo for my passport that expired many years ago. Before she leaves to Long Island she wants me to have all my papers organized.
Even if Mercury is in retrograde she received the loan she needed from the bank. But when she talks about Long Island she talks like she is going to la luna.
But OK, we were walking and this man I have never seen before was in front of the place for the hamburgers. You know the place—if you eat one, it’s OK, but if you eat two, you shit in your panties? Oh, you know it? You like it? Ay. Every time, I get a stomachache.
But anyway, lots of strange people pass through this neighborhood because you can go to the George Washington Bridge very easy and get in the highway. ángela and Yadiresela were walking and this man winked to Yadiresela and not to me. That was strange. Yadiresela is only ten years old. Una ni?a. The man was wearing a good suit of wool. His shoes were clean and fancy. His hands were manicured too. But I was suspicious.
Wow, you’ve grown, the man said to Yadiresela.
Do I know you? ángela asked the man.
Let’s go, I said, pulling ángela. I felt the cold feeling behind my neck.
But ángela, especially when I try to tell her what to do, does the opposite.
You look just like your father, the man said.
Any idiota could see that Yadiresela looks like her father, because of ángela she has nothing.
You know Hernán? You work in the hospital? she said, giving to the man all the information. All that education made her a real pendeja.
Oh, but of course. Everybody knows Hernán, he said.
Can I take a photo of you, to show to my wife? the man asked. She won’t believe how much time has passed.
But I saw that the strange man wasn’t wearing a ring. Why talk about a wife? That doesn’t smell bad to you?
I pulled ángela’s arm again.
Ay, Cara, what’s wrong with you? she said.
ángela and Yadiresela did a pose. Then another pose, like they were modeling for a magazine.
Look, I don’t care how nice this man looks. No man should have a photo of Yadiresela, except her father.
What are you? Nine, ten? What’s that, fifth grade?
He asked too many questions.
Sixth grade, ángela said. She’s very intelligent. And a good singer. She has a solo at St. Rose of Lima next Sunday!
Do you see what I mean? ángela with a spoon gave him every information.
Oh, I know that church, he said.
While they’re busy talking, I took out the camera that I keep in my purse for exactly this reason and I took a photo in case we need to make a Wanted poster.
After, I yelled to ángela. Why are you teaching Yadiresela to talk to strange men on the street?
He knows Hernán, she said.
We don’t know this, I said.
The next day, I went to Yadiresela’s school and waited outside for her to come out. ángela says it’s OK for Yadiresela to walk home from school alone. I watch the news every day and I know that many things happen to girls that have ten years of age. ángela thinks I am paranoica. She says we can’t live thinking the worst, we have to think the best will happen. And maybe this works for her, because everything ángela wants, she gets.
From the minute she arrived to New York, she said, I will be a professional. It took her seven years to finish the degree, but she finished con diploma. She said she wanted a good husband and two children and she now has Hernán. She said she wanted to buy a house and now she bought a house. She believes if you follow the plan, you can make everything happen. But I think you can work hard like me and have nothing. In this life you have to be lucky. I didn’t send Alicia the Psychic some money, but I made a big circle on the calendar, like she said.
So, anyways. I followed Yadiresela from school. I know it’s strange, but I didn’t want her to see me following. Fernando didn’t like it when I followed him. It created many problems with us. It humiliate him. But many things happen to boys too, so I did everything I could to keep Fernando secure. But it was not easy.
Imagine with Yadiresela. I am so connected to her. If something happened to her I would die. The day of the concert, I stood in the back of the church, close to the entrance, to listen to her sing. Oh, one day you should go listen to her. She is better than any of those singers on TV.
Anyway, I did not see the strange man, but it’s possible he saw me. He knows I took photos of him. So he has to be careful.
And you know what happened? That same week, on the news, I saw that a young girl in this neighborhood had disappeared with the age of twelve. And later I saw the posters in the streets.
WANTED: Information for MISSING PERSON. Penélope González Female Black Hispanic 12 years of age DOB 05/01/1997 / 5’4 tall, weighing 110 lbs, medium complexion, brown hair and brown eyes. She was last seen wearing black sweats, black hoodie, and sandals.
Not so different from Yadiresela. It happened only eight blocks away from where we live.
And guess what? The reporter warned parents not to share photos of their children on the computer. Especially photos where you can see the school in the background. You see? They said strange men take photos and put them on the computer. They sell the girls. They only need to identify the school. They watch and they grab and take them to another state. They change their names so they disappear forever.
I don’t care that ángela calls me paranoica. She doesn’t understand that we live in a dangerous world with very sick people. Somebody has to watch for the children.
Do you know the story about the monkeys paranoico? No? I will tell you. My vecina Mariposa told me that the scientists see the monkeys from the jungle creating a big revolú for the others. So they took them away temporarily, to study them so that they could eventually help the paranoid people. They gave them drugs so they were more calm. But you know what happened? When they came back to the community with the monkeys, everybody was dead or disappeared. And you know why? Because the community needs somebody like me to pay attention for the danger. Everybody cannot be calm. To be calm is a luxury!
So yes, if I take a job doing security in the school, I can sit and watch the cameras, and make sure the strange men never enter.
* * *
Ay, you’re right! It’s like when I watch Channel 15.
Recently I saw something on Channel 15 that can show you how much I care about the children and their safety.
Sabrina, the daughter of my neighbor, was in the lobby, around eleven in the night, wearing pajamas and shoes with pom-poms. In this cold weather! She was opening the door for one of her friends, who was wearing a Catholic school uniform. Then they disappeared off the camera. Maybe to smoke? Before, it was the boys we had to worry about. But the girls now are smoking like the boys. The next morning, I found loose tabaco all over the stairs.
Nothing happens in this building that I don’t know. Sabrina’s mother works two jobs so her daughter, dique intelligent, can go to Mother Cabrini. It’s one of the good Catholic schools in the area. When she works in the night, she leaves her two daughters with the grandmother, who is forgetting things. If someone needs extra eyes and ears, it’s Sabrina.