I’m scrolling through Instagram, bored out of my mind, pissed at myself for hurting the one good thing in my life, when I get a text notification from Rylie the psycho.
You can’t just ignore me! I told you I needed to talk to you, but since you won’t meet me anywhere or answer my calls, I guess I’ll just tell you now.
I’m just about to block her number, as in my finger is literally hovering over the button that says Block this Caller when I get the next message.
I’M PREGNANT AND IT’S YOURS.
The phone slips out of my fingers, falling onto the mattress with a soft thud. What the hell? She’s gotta be fucking with me. I grab my phone and start typing.
I don’t believe you.
Her response is quick.
I have proof.
Proof of what?
That I’m pregnant.
My heart thunders in my chest as I wait for her so-called proof. She sends a photo, and at first I can’t tell what the hell it is, until I realize it’s one of those ultrasound things.
That’s our baby.
Squinting, I study the photo. It doesn’t look anything like a baby. It looks like a bean.
I count back in my head, thinking to when we first hooked up. The very beginning of August, maybe? Nah, more like mid-August, right before school started. It was a hot night, and I was feeling lonely, hanging out at the lake with a bunch of people from school, watching as they all coupled up and I had no one. She appeared out of nowhere, all alone and wearing a crop top that showed off her tits and flat stomach, and the shortest denim shorts that gave me a flash of her ass cheeks every time she turned around. Next thing I knew she was sucking my dick out behind a grove of pine trees and we ended up having sex.
Pretty sure I used a condom too.
Well???? Do you have anything to say???
What am I supposed to say? Gee, yay can’t wait! Let’s get married!
I don’t think so.
Instead, I tell her, I don’t believe you.
It’s yours, Asher. I know it.
We had sex for the first time not even a month ago, I reply, anger making me see red. I feel like she’s trying to trick me. I don’t understand why.
One time is all it takes is her response.
Then she sends a baby face emoji.
This time I toss my phone and it hits the floor with a loud thunk. I run my hands through my hair, tugging on it until it starts to hurt, and I appreciate the pain. At least it makes me feel something.
Why is everyone piling up on me, trying to tear me down? I don’t fucking get it. What did I do to deserve this? I just want to live my life in peace. Get through my senior year and get the fuck out of this town. I might even leave now, if everything with the Callahan family goes to shit.
That thought alone almost breaks my hard-as-steel heart.
I ignore my phone, though I can hear all the text notifications coming through as Rylie continuously sends me messages. I throw myself down on the bed and turn on my side, facing the wall, my back to my phone. Fuck this. I don’t need anyone.
Anyone.
Somehow I fall asleep, and have disturbing dreams. Rylie showing up at school with a stroller, not just one but two babies crying uncontrollably inside it. Autumn running away when she spots me and Rylie with the babies, and me chasing after her all while Rylie is screaming NO! in a voice that reminds me of a monster.
Don’t need a professional analysis to understand what that’s all about.
I wake up around nine and hear a bunch of voices coming from the kitchen. I lie there and listen to them, their joyful chatter and laughter making my heart clench. This house is nothing like mine. It’s big and airy and filled with happiness. There’s no TV blaring all the time, always on to the point that you don’t even notice it anymore. Not a bunch of yelling either, or dirty dishes in the sink, the smell of cigarettes lingering in the hazy air. This family actually gets along, they talk things out, they respect each other. Normally this sort of thing would irritate the crap out of me. I’d think it was a bunch of Mickey Mouse horseshit.
But being here, living with this family, seeing how they treat each other, makes me yearn for this kind of life. Yearn for something I know deep down will never be mine. I lost that when my dad died, and even before, when he was alive, things weren’t that great. They fought a lot. Mom was drinking even back then, and Dad gave up trying to help her.
She didn’t want help. She still doesn’t.
I stay in bed all morning, drifting in and out of sleep, when there’s a rapid knocking on my door and it’s pushed open to reveal Fable Callahan standing there with a giant smile on her pretty face. She’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt, no makeup, her long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, and I swear she could pass for someone my age. I don’t know how old she is, but I’ve seen stuff on the internet and back in the day, Fable was hot AF. She’s still pretty hot. A total MILF if I’m being real, but I can’t think like that because this is Autumn’s mom and she’s the girl I care about.
Fucked that up, though. Yet again. So that’s done.
“Are you going to hide out in here all day or what?” Fable asks way too cheerfully.
“I don’t feel so good.” I run a hand through my hair and tug the comforter up so it covers me to my chin. The careful way Fable’s watching me makes me feel exposed. “Didn’t sleep good last night.”
“Oh really.” Fable raises a brow, her gaze sweeping the room before it settles on the floor. “I think you dropped your phone.”
“You can leave it there,” I start, but too late, the phone is in Fable’s hands and the screen lights up when she touches it.
Revealing the long list of texts from Rylie.
“Looks like someone is desperate to talk to you.” Fable hands me my phone and I take it from her, tucking it under the comforter where I don’t have to see it.
“She’s no one.”
“Girlfriend?”
Hell no. “I don’t have one.”
“Not even Autumn?”
I meet her gaze, her expression dangerously neutral. I wonder if she’s trying to trap me. That’s all my mom ever does. Drops hints and tries to play nice, and when I open up or tell her something, bam! She comes at me, yelling and screaming and carrying on. Calling me a piece of shit like my dad.
Sucks.
“Not even Autumn,” I tell her truthfully. “She’s mad at me.”
Damn. Didn’t mean to be that truthful.
“Oh? What did you do?” Fable doesn’t even bother asking if Autumn did something to me. I guess that’s only natural, that she’s defending her daughter.
Or she knows that all of us guys are stupid and we mess things up all the time.
“Something dumb.” No way am I going to admit what happened. I’d get myself, Autumn and Jake in trouble.
“You don’t want to tell me?”
“Not really.” I swallow hard, embarrassment hitting me hard. And shame. I’m ashamed of my actions last night. How I talked to Autumn, what I did. She was right. I shouldn’t have gone into Jake’s room uninvited and stolen his condoms. It sounds stupid because it is, but I bet I could’ve asked him, hey buddy, got any condoms I can use? And he would’ve given me some, no hesitation.
But I didn’t. No way I can give them back either.
“No problem.” She grabs the back of the chair that sits in front of the desk and flips it around, plopping her butt right in it. “What else is going on?”
“I don’t know.” I sit up a little, scratching the back of my neck. “I’m going to school tomorrow.”
“Drew told me. Are you ready?” Her gaze drops to where my discarded backpack sits. “You’ve worked on your homework? I’m sure you’re behind.”
“I’ll work on it this afternoon.” Lies. I won’t work on shit. How can I concentrate when nothing’s going right in my life?
“Don’t let yourself get behind, Ash. That’s the worst thing I ever did. I barely graduated high school. I was too busy working a full-time job and trying to take care of my little brother,” she says.