Wreck Me

“This is the best thing I’ve had in ages. Really, really good Jo. Thank you.” Damon caps of his sentence by shoveling the in the last heaping forkful of my signature cheeseburger casserole. It’s one of my favorite dishes to make since it is pretty cheap and easy to make. I make it for just myself all the time. I have never really cooked for anyone else. This is a first for me and I am kind of liking the compliments. It’s out of character for me to even give a shit. There is just something so damned familiar about him. Something familiar and comforting. I feel like I want to be around him. Like, maybe being around him will make things alright. Like it will make me alright. It’s f*cking preposterous. I know that, but it’s a feeling that I can’t shake. I take another long gulp of my water and he follows suit.


“You’re welcome. I have never cooked for anyone so this is a first. Glad I didn’t screw it up.” I smile. What the f*ck? Who cares if I screw it up? This is a one night stand. Plain and simple.

“Do you want to have coffee in the library?”

“Sure.” He quickly sets the coffee maker, and loads our dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I watch and wait. He looks so handsome. Those luminescent amber eyes have a way of cutting right through me and making me feel naked in the most incredible way. I have been itching to run my fingers through his dark disheveled hair since I first laid eyes on him. He pours our coffee and makes mine just the way I like it with cream and one sugar. He must have remembered from this morning.

“Coffee. Cream and sugar.” I take the cup.

“Thank you.” He offers his arm and motions for me to hook mine with his, and I do. My arm slips into the crook of his elbow and we ascend the stairs arm in arm. We enter his loft library and I set down my coffee to admire the space again. I love it in here. Damn I would kill to have a private library like this. I don’t usually kid myself with having wild dreams of being highly successful. I am quite the realist, but I can’t help but wish that someday I might end up lounging in a library of my own just like this one.

“I really love your library. I didn’t picture you as a book lover.” I glance over to him. Damn he looks good enough to eat.

“Why?”

“Oh I don’t know. I shouldn’t stereotype, but you don’t look much like a man who sits around and reads.” He shakes his head.

“I don’t. I never have enough time, but that’s not what I mean. I mean, why do you love my library?” What? Is he f*cking dense? I work in a book store for crying out loud. That should be a big indication that I have a thing for books. I furrow my brows.

“I work in a book store. I don’t imagine I would work there if I did not enjoy it.” He arches a skeptical eyebrow and I can tell he wants to know more.

“Yes, but why would you want to work in a book store?” I help myself to one of the ultra cushy chairs and take in a deep breath. He sits in the chair across from me and props his feet on the coffee table between us. Against my better judgment, I decide to toss it out there. I have nothing to lose really. Though this guy is undeniably a catch, it doesn’t change my bottom line. This is a one night stand, and I don’t do relationships. It would not matter if I did date because I am nearly one-hundred percent positive that he doesn’t do relationships either. So, f*ck it. I’ll tell him why I have a thing for books.

“My childhood was shitty. I started living on the streets when I was twelve years old and I didn’t have a roof over my head for six years. I use to go to the library for hours a day. It started out as a place to keep warm in the winter or cool in the summer, but then I became hooked. I didn’t have anyone, but every time I walked through those doors I felt like each of those authors was my family and the characters they created were all my friends. I counted on them. None of them ever let me down or left me. They never yelled at me or hit me. They never did anything but occupy time and keep me company. They were all I ever had. All I still have. Now that the store may go out of business I feel like I’m losing my family and friends. I love all my books. Being a book lover saved my life. I spent more time reading in the library than I did putting myself at risk in the streets. I was able to teach myself what I needed to pass my GED exam. The librarian, Evelyn, never turned me away. She could have and she should have. Homeless people are not usually welcome to squat in the public library for so long, but I think she knew I was not just using the place for shelter. One day she came to me with a registration card for the GED and told me to go take it. All I had to do was show up. It was all paid for. She also allowed me to use her personal address on the paperwork since I didn’t have one. I owe a lot to every book I’ve ever cracked open. That’s why I love them.” I sure as hell hope he remembers what I said about apologies and how I despise them or I am going to regret opening my mouth about my screwed up childhood.

“You have a dirty mouth don’t you,” he says in a manner saturated with innuendo. Hell, yes I have a dirty mouth. I will show him just how dirty it is if we can cut to the chase and get rid of some clothes. I have not been laid in weeks and I am getting impatient. I stand from my chair and skirt the edge of the coffee table to get to where he is seated.

“I don’t really feel like coffee and conversation anymore.” He stands and his body is so close to mine I can feel his warmth radiating outward. He leans in and his full lips brush against the rim of my ear.

“Then what would you like to have, Jo?” His warm breath lights my skin on fire and my core turns to molten hot, liquid arousal. F*ck, I want him between my thighs.

“What would you like?” I ask in a whisper.

“Would you like me to show you what I want?”

“Yes.” One of his hand snakes around my waist and he jerks me to him. My body crashes against his with such force that the air in my lungs evacuates in an instant. His other hand slowly makes its way up my spine, past the nape of my neck to my hair. His fingers tangle in my wavy brown locks and he pulls to force my head back just enough to give him my neck. His hot mouth lands on my neck and takes from me greedily. He kisses and licks at my skin. His mouth works a trail up my neck to my ear. He takes the lobe of my ear into his mouth and suckles just a moment then bites down lightly, coaxing a moan from me. His breathing it heavy and so is mine. I’m panting and wanton in his grips. My body is humming with need for him.

His hips are flush against my body and his erection is pressed against my stomach. It’s rock hard and pulsing. I can feel his cock twitching even through the cloth separating our bodies. I am helpless in his vice-like, dominating grip. His hand has not left my hair and I am pressed to him as close as I can get without having his cock filling me. F*ck I want to feel him in me. He keeps at his ministrations on my neck and ear. He switches sides and shows the other the same amount of attention. I am soaked for him. I can feel how slick he has made me. If he doesn’t take me soon I may beg for it and that is not my style at all. But, dammit this man does something to me that I’ve never experienced before. He keeps lapping at my neck and pulling my hair. His hips make one expert roll against my body. That’s it. F*ck it.

“Please.” He freezes and backs away marginally to look at me. Those warm honey eyes are my undoing. I place my palms against the firm wall of his chest and resort to begging. “Please,” I repeat sounding more desperate than the first time. He grabs me and pulls me to him harder than the first time and growls in my ear.

“I’m going to take you now. It’s going to be hard and rough. Get ready.” Another moan escapes my throat and I all but melt in his arms. He sweeps my body up into his arms and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. He strides swiftly down the hall to his bedroom. He kicks the door open without regard and rushes me to his bed. He hasn’t kissed me yet and my lips are eager to taste him. He has me on the side of the bed. He slips his hand between my knees and I allow my thighs to spread for him invitingly. A low growl of appreciation rumbles through his chest again and damn it turns me on.

“Damon, pl-”


“Hush. Patience.” Oh for f*ck sake. I am going to burst if he doesn’t take me now. He moves to stand between my thighs. I glance at his erection and my mouth waters to taste him. He slowly runs the palms of his hands up my thighs as he leans down to me. His lips are so close to mine. One hand grips my upper thigh hard as hell. It’s to the point of pain yet my core stirs deliciously. It’s the biggest contradiction. His other hand slips further up my thigh to the junction between my legs. He watches observantly as he completely dominates me. I have never allowed anyone to have such power over me, but I want Damon to take me. All of me. It feels good to let go right now. I have no rational explanation and at the moment, I really don’t give a f*ck. I can only think of him. He has dominated me body and mind and I don’t want to do a damn thing to fight against it. This feels too good to deny him. His mouth is so close and I want his lips on mine. I want to feel all of him. One finger hooks into the tiny triangle of cloth that conceals my arousal and I hear a rip of fabric at the same time his mouth takes mine. His tongue slips over my lips the very same moment his finger slides into me. F*ck. I moan as his soft wet tongue slides against mine. A second finger slips into my channel. He has consumed my mouth so completely that I can barely breathe. His tongue delves deep. My hips undulate of their own volition and it speaks to him. He breaks our kiss and his fingers withdraw from me. I watch as he licks both fingers clean. Oh f*ck that’s hot.

“The minute I saw you in that store, I tried to imagine how good you’d taste.” He pops a finger back into his mouth and slowly withdraws it.

“I wasn’t even close. You taste like perfection.”

“F*ck me.”

“Not yet,” he says as he flicks open the button and zipper of my short jean skirt. In one fell swoop, he frees me of my skirt and tattered panties. He hauls my legs up and my knees are nearly touching my chest.

“Hold your legs and whatever you do, don’t let go until I tell you to.” I nod in understanding. What the f*ck is he going to do? I should feel slightly shy being perched so openly on the side of his bed, but I have no shame. I am too hot for him to feel anything but turned on. He gives me a devilish half smile as he stands back for a moment and admires the position I am in. I still don’t feel embarrassed. I feel aroused. Very, very, aroused. Before I can draw in my next breath He bends at the waist and his hands grip my hips and his mouth lands on my drenched center. Oh damn. He groans and the low pitch of his voice vibrates through his chest, past his lips, and right against my needy flesh.

I whimper and writhe beneath his mouth. His grip on my hips tightens painfully yet again my core stirs deliciously. It’s so f*cking baffling. His lips kiss me then I feel his tongue dart past his lips and into me. He licks and laps at me. Fast, then slow. Deep strokes of his tongue against my inner walls and short, shallow flicks at my opening build me to climax in no time. I feel like I am on the edge of bliss. He plunges two fingers back inside me as his attention hones in on my *. His mouth covers the tightly grouped bunch of pulsing nerves and I moan loudly. The grip on my legs slips and they drop a fraction. His mouth leaves my * and his fingers withdraw.

“Oh f*ck, please don’t stop,” I plead. I glance at him as I pant and work at catching my breath. He draws the zipper of his jeans down and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and frees his erection. He kicks away his jeans and underwear. Holy shit! His cock is perfect. It’s thick and long and everything I could want. His skin is pink and looks soft. I want to touch his rigid pulsing length. I want to slip it into my mouth and taste him.

“I told you not to let go of your legs didn’t I?” What? Is he seriously going to yell at me for getting lost in the moment?

Before I can say a damn thing he wrenches me up from the bed and whirls me around. He pulls my shirt over my head and hooks his finger into my bra strap. He pulls it back and the elastic then releases it. The strap pops against my skin. I jump mostly out of surprise. He leans into me. His erection presses against my backside.

“I told you not to let go.”

“I know.”

“I told you this would be rough. Are you ready?”

“F*ck yes.”

“You have a filthy mouth.” I glance back just in time to see him finish rolling a condom down the length of his erection. “Get ready, Jo.”

A moment of worry comes over me. What if he hurts me? What if he is some weirdo freak who does strange shit in the bedroom? I’m okay with rough sex, but if things get weird I don’t know if I can fight him off. He leans over and brushes his lips against the rim of my ear again. It sends chills skating over my body and all worry-some thoughts have disappeared.

“You’re safe with me.” I believe him and it is absurd. I have nothing to base that off of. I don’t know why, but damn I feel safe with him. I can’t explain it. All I know if he feels exquisite and I trust him with my body. I nod and his fingers go back to my opening from behind. He smoothes my arousal over me.

“So wet.” He nudges the wide tip of his cock at my opening. I inch my legs even further apart for him. The head of his erection slips like silk over my flesh and he pauses poised at my opening with just the tip in me.

“Tell me what you want,” He demands and I don’t hesitate.

“I want you. I want your cock,” I whine.

“Tell me you’re ready for me.”

“Please, I’m ready for you,” He eases into me a little more, then withdraws to just the tip again. I whimper, desperate for more. Suddenly he slams into me and sheaths his entire thick, pulsing length with my greedy body. His cock knocks the wind out of me and I gasp to regain my breath. I can feel the tip of his erection bump against the depths of me. It’s a feeling that I have never experienced before and the thought of him being the first to fill me so completely is exhilarating. He rears back and hauls right back into me with astounding power. He pulls out and plows through me again. Each deep thrust knocks the wind from me and I struggle to take even short choppy breaths. One of his hands slips around my side and he presses his palm low on my abdomen. His other hand presses against the small of my back. He holds me immobile in this position while he drives into me over and over. With his hand pressing against my stomach I can feel the tip of his cock butting against the end of me even more. It’s a strong sensation of pleasure, and pain.

“You like it, don’t you?” He grunts into my ear. Hell yes I like it. I f*cking love it. He is the best lover I have ever had, hands down. Without warning, he freezes in place and the hand on the small of my back disappears only to reappear with a hard smack across my bare, perched up ass. I gasp.

“Oh f*ck, that’s hot.”

“Tell me,” he demands. I comply instantly. I would do anything right about now just to get him to move in me again.

“I love it,” I blurt. His warm palm sweeps over my reddened ass and my insides stir with renewed desire. On a groan he buries himself inside me again. I shiver as he starts to move again. His thrusts become harder and even faster than before. My feet are no longer on the ground. My legs are spread wide. My knees bent so that my feet go skyward. He grips his hands hard onto my hipbones and pulls me to him as he thrusts forward. I feel weightless like this. I fist my hands into his bedding as my stomach clenches down deep. Electricity begins coursing from the tips of my fingers and toes to meet in a violent climactic crash in my center. My body grabs at his erection. I gasp and shudder. Every muscle tightens and pleasure consumes me completely. My eyes roll back and he crashes into me once more then groans and grunts as his own release takes him over the edge.


“Damon!” I scream with what little breath and energy is left in me. All else has been exhausted. My body quivers and quakes in his grips. He stays planted within me as he leans forward to rest his chest against my back. I can feel the mist of sweat across his skin and the pounding of his heart. I begin coming down from my blissful orgasm. I am so spent I feel unable to move an inch. Now is usually the point at which I gather my clothes and say “see you never again”, but I can’t seem to speak a word. Maybe he will say it. He stays where he is for a few more moments while we both catch our breath and slow our hearts. He finally pulls out of me and turns me to face him. His erection has not gone anywhere and damn my horny self for wanting more of him.

I open my mouth to speak but he puts his big hand over my mouth before I can form my lame ass, awkward post hook-up speech. He shakes his head side to side.

“No. This isn’t what you’re thinking.” So awkward. He walks into what looks like his bathroom and reappears a moment later. We stand before each other completely naked. This is the worst part about one time hook-ups. There is always the awkward post-sex chat. It sometimes makes me want to quit doing this and just give a relationship a shot. The idea of it scares the shit out of me, but this hooking up thing is getting old. Not to mention the fact that I have never been this lucky before. Damon is the best I have ever had. The idea of sleeping with someone with less sexual prowess than Damon depresses me even further.

“Listen, I get it. It’s no big deal. I’m not the type of woman who equates sex with a relationship. This was a one-time thing,” I move to recover my clothing and his arms scoop me up from my feet and body slams me to his mattress. I bounce high off the plush bedding and he is quick to cover my body with his.

“No, that’s just my point. This is not what you say it is. You say this is a one-time thing. I say it isn’t.” Whoa. What?

“Um, tap your breaks boss. What are you talking about?”

He chuckles and it’s infectious. I kind of want to laugh a little too.

“That dirty mouth of yours is kind of cute too.” He leans forward and presses his lips to mine and they feel amazing. We drink from each other greedily for a long moment. The kiss ends and we are both panting and hungry to have each other again. Damn.

“If this isn’t what I think it is then tell what you think it is.” He shifts his legs so that one knee comes between mine and nudges them apart. My legs fall apart in compliance. He settles his hips between my thighs. His solid erection pulses against my stomach. He wrenches my arms above my head and easily pins them both with one big hand. The other hand grasps my jaw forcing me to look him in the face.

“When I met you this morning something strange happened and I don’t know what it is yet. Until I find out what it was, this is not over. I want you. You want me. I plan on having you as much as I can.” Just who the hell is he? The dominant thing is hot in bed I will admit, but I am the only one in charge of my life. I never waver on that.

“And what if I say hell no, absolutely not?”

“You won’t. You felt it too. I know you did. I saw it in those green eyes of yours.” He’s right. I want more of him. How the hell could I refuse this kind of sex? No woman on the face of the planet would refuse him. I can agree to this. It’s not like I am agreeing to marry him. I am agreeing to more sex. That’s all. No big deal.

“Okay, fine. Sex. I can stand a little more sex with you.” He smiles wide, baring his pearly whites.

“Fine.” He releases my wrists and runs one hand down my side at a painfully slow, seductive pace. His lips press against my neck and he begins to kiss a hot wet trail down to my chest. He grips my hip in one of his hands while the other goes to my breasts and massages my flesh. He takes a nipple into his mouth and I moan.

“Your bed is nice,” I murmur.

“Is it?” He says with a mouth full of my breast then sucks hard before releasing my hardened nipple.

“Yep. Much nicer than my crappy bed.”

“If you think my bed is nice you should see my bathtub.” In one graceful movement he sweeps me out of the bed and sets me to my feet. I sway slightly and grab onto his muscular arm. He holds me by the shoulders until the spotty vision clear.

“Got up too fast.”

“Sorry. Better now?”

“Better,” I affirm.





Damon drags me to his crazy-big, modern bathroom and I stand and wait while he turns on the taps to fill the mammoth tub. His muscles ripple and flex as he moves and I drink it in. The sight of this gorgeous man in the nude is a real treat. I have to admit that I am a bit excited to prolong this hook-up. He leans over the tub and pours in some girly bath shit. I am sure he assumes I like that crap and use it often. He would be wrong. I don’t use bath stuff because I don’t take baths. I don’t even have a tub. So even if I wanted to I couldn’t. My shitty apartment came with a tiny stall shower and that’s it. I would move out of the place, but the rent is cheap and I have been there for seven years. I can’t really afford moving expenses anyway. I especially won’t be moving now that the store is in trouble. My serious thoughts have distracted me from Damon. He steps behind me and pulls me back into his chest. I glance at our reflection in the mirror and I feel alarm. Sheer alarm courses through me. We look good together. We look like a couple. His amber eyes contrast against my green in a way that has me staring in spite of my panic. His nearly black disheveled hair looks even darker and shinier against my medium brown waves. His skin is darker than mine. Working in a bookstore all day doesn’t allow for much sun bathing. I stand frozen in his arms. I am naked and freaked out, but fascinated at the same time. He grasps my jaw and keeps me looking forward at the mirror.

“See? You felt it too and now you see it,” he whispers in my ear and he is right. When we touched me this morning something familiar flashed in my brain and now, seeing our reflection it feels like déjà vu, but I can’t figure this shit out. This is so not my thing. I’m driving blind here. I’m about to take a bath with a man I only just met less than twenty-four hours ago. We just met this morning, but I can’t seem to shake this feeling that I have seen him before. It’s going to drive me nuts until I figure out how I know him. I say nothing as I stare and he releases me to turn off the water. He sweeps my hand up in his and tugs me toward the tub.

“Get in.” He holds my hand and I step into the huge tub and sink down into the soothing water. I am lost in thought as he joins me. His tall dark, handsome frame sinks down, and the water level rises significantly. He reaches forward and easily hauls me across the tub to where he is leaned back. I am wedged between his muscular thighs and lost in thought.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, Jo.” F*ck it.

“Fine. I’m thinking that this is weird.” He brushes my hair over my shoulder and cups water in his hand then pours it down my back.

“Elaborate?”

“I will admit the whole familiarity thing. But I don’t do…this.” I raise a hand in the air and whirl it in a circle.

“I don’t either,” he admits.

“Then why the hell bother with me? Neither one of us does relationships. Quite frankly I have never dated, like, ever.”

“You’ve never had a boyfriend?”


“Not many guys pining for homeless chicks,” I say sarcastically and shrug.

“Besides, I just don’t want to build a relationship with someone. It always ends one way or another and it’s never pretty. So why bother?”

“I get your logic, but I am not asking you to commit to a relationship with me.” He keeps at his water pouring duties as we sort out what the hell is going on between us.

“You’re not?” I feel dumb now.

“No. I get it. But I can’t not figure out what this is. It will kill me if I don’t.”

“I know, it’s weird.”

“Alright, let’s make a deal.” My hands stroke small circles across the tops of his thighs as he talks.

“Let’s just agree to see each other until we can sort out why the hell it seems like we have already met. You’ll see me every day. We spend as much time together as we can until it comes to one of us. No strings attached. Sex and jogging memories. Deal?” I think I can manage that. It feels a lot better than I thought it would. It sounds fine actually. I like him. He is nice and he is brilliant in bed. He is as handsome as they come and he apparently knows me. Screw it. This can be fun.

“Okay. You demonstrated the sex part already. How do you plan on jogging our memories? My memory is pretty damn spot on so, what if this is just our imagination at work here?” I turn to face him. He accommodates my shifting position and pulls me to him. He scoots to the center of the tub and I wrap my legs around his waist.

“That’s easy, but very juvenile. Twenty questions. Let’s play.” I laugh then wrap my arms around his neck to stroke his hair.

“Fine, I guess.”

“I’ll go first. Where have you worked?”

“That’s easy since the book store has been the only job I have ever had. Now my turn. How old are you?”

“I think I may be a little older than you.” He looks at me a little sheepishly and I melt. He can’t be much older than me. I raise a prompting eyebrow.

“I’m thirty-three. How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-five.” I shrug.

“Have you ever been one of those volunteers at the mission down on tenth?” He looks at me incredulously.

“No. Maybe I’ve met you at one of the clubs?”

“Don’t hang out in clubs. I don’t exactly have any friends to go to clubs or bars with. What do you do for a living?”

“I own and invest. I have multiple clubs here in Vegas. I also own three five star restaurants and invest in various business ventures.”

“Oh I see. You’re a suit.” I say tauntingly only because he is definitely not a boring suit.

“Big time suit. Family?” Please don’t go there. I take in a deep breath and let it all out.

“I have no siblings and my parents are dead. Hence the whole homeless thing. You?” He nods and looks to the wall behind me. He is quiet for a moment and I wait while I run my fingers in circle eights on the back of his neck.

“I don’t speak to my dad and I never knew my real mother.” Damn. I never could have predicted that one. He seems pretty put together. I mean, anyone can look at me and tell that I am screwed up. I swear way too much and have no desire to correct my ugly habit. I smoke when I drink. I let my dirty dishes stack up before I wash them. I wear my jeans a few times before I wash them. I have spent far longer than a few days in the same clothes before. I find the idea of love and family and all that jazz a waste. The point is I have some screwed up philosophies and habits. But, Damon has no clear tell tale signs of being f*cked up. Maybe he isn’t.

“Let’s get out the water is getting cold.” I uncoil myself from around him and grip the side of the tub to get out.

“Oh f*ck! Shit, shit, shit,” I cry as I realize the mistake I have made.

“What’s wrong?” I want to cry. I was so dumb. I got into the tub with my mother’s watch on and the second hand is not ticking. I don’t cry much, but tears pool in my eyes and my chin quivers.

“Jo, what’s wrong?” Damon’s voice is stern and it snaps me out of my pitiful daze. I look at him and tears stream down my face. F*ck I won’t forgive myself for this. It’s all I have of Maman’s. She was so proud of it. Papa gave her this watch for their one year anniversary. She told me he worked a second job for months to save for it. She wore it with pride and he knew his hard work was worth it. Now it doesn’t work and I don’t know if it can be fixed. Even if it can be fixed I can’t afford to pay for repairs right now.

“My watch,” I say weakly through tears. He reaches out and takes my wrist in his. He examines the watch for a moment then I know it must be broken because his face goes blank. F*ck my life. He releases the delicate clasp and examines the watch closer. He flips it over. Sometimes I forget about the inscription on the underside of the watch. It says “Collette, my heart resides with you forevermore.” It’s in French and even though my French is rusty I can still read it and speak it decently. Damon looks at me and pity fills his eyes. I know the look. I hate that look but somehow coming from him doesn’t quite feel like pity. It feels like understanding and I let it go. My mother’s ruined watch is my only concern at the moment.

“What does it say?” he asks on a whisper.

“Collette, my heart resides with you forevermore,” I say weakly while tears continue slipping down my cheeks. He nods and looks to me.

“What did you say your last name was again I will have this fixed. They will need to know the name of the owner.”

“Geroux. My full name is Josephine Lisette Geroux.”

“I’m going to make this right. I promise you, Josephine.” I don’t bother correcting him about my name. I am completely entranced by the sincerity and emotion written across his features. He reaches behind me and enfolds me in a plush towel. He slings one around his waist and leads me back to his bedroom. I glance at the clock on his nightstand and it reads 12:26 am. How in the hell have I been with him for over six hours already? He peels back the comforter on his sinfully comfortable bed and says nothing as he lifts me beneath my arms to place me on the mattress. I don’t protest. I have no fight tonight. I feel beaten down by the day I have endured. Damon slips into the bed beside me and tugs me too him. I lay my head on his shoulder and cry. I allow myself a measure of self-pity for my shitty day. Sixteen years have passed since I lost my world. I have fought and been strong every day since then. That’s exactly five thousand eight hundred forty days of fighting and being strong. I know because I have counted the days since the accident. It’s another habit I can’t kick. So, today, day five thousand eight hundred forty, I will feel sorry for myself and let Damon feel sorry for me too.

“I’m going to make it better.” I sniffle and swipe the tears from my cheeks.

“I promise I am not a big whine bag. It’s just…it’s all I have left.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’ve been gone for sixteen years today. My mom’s watch is all I have of them and I ruined it like an adolescent idiot. I knew it wasn’t waterproof. My mom always took it off when she did the dishes. I remember that.” Damon rolls me to my back and scoots down the bed to kneel between my legs. I lay naked before him in tears and he doesn’t seem to be bothered. He picks up one foot and kisses my instep. I shiver as a zap of electricity races through me. He kisses my ankle and another zap goes racing through my nerve endings. He begins dropping a trail a tender kisses up my legs. He stops at the scar on my shin.


“How did you get this?” he asks as he stares at the ugly reminder of the accident.

“I have the a*shole who killed my parents to thank for that. I was in the backseat when we were hit head on. I had a compound fracture of my leg.” He inhales deeply and looks at me. Anger flashes in his eyes for a moment and it seems so out of place. He has no reason to be angry. I am the one with the f*cked up scar and the dead parents. He raises my leg and presses his lips to my scar, then rests his forehead against the ugly reminder.

“I know you don’t want to hear it but I have to say it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His sincere apology causes a new round of tears to fill my eyes and spill over. He comes back to my side and envelopes me in his solid arms. I lie naked and physically as well as emotionally spent in his grip. I don’t give him shit for the apology. I can’t. His words were the definition of genuine and I can’t be upset with him for it.

“I should probably go home soon.”

“No. Stay with me tonight.”

“I have never sta-”

“Doesn’t matter. Stay with me.”

“Okay.” I feel his chest deflate and I am positive that he is content with my answer. My sobbing ebbs away and I drift off to sleep in Damon’s bed completely unsure of what the f*ck I have gotten myself into.